things that inspire

i LIVE to be inspired. by anything. by everything.  beautiful pictures, people, scenery, words... 

as a writer, i'm surrounded by sound lyrics and other people's writing that resonates somewhere deep within me. it's a beautiful experience when that happens. i love words that don't suck.  :)

anyway- when i read something that makes me want to jump on top of my couch and scream YES YES YES this is SO me!  i print it out as fast as i can and pin it to my dream/wish board! 

you know the one... (it's changed since i took this pic- dramatically, but you get the point)

i just wanted to share my latest additions with you!  :) 



GOD I LOVE BEING & FEELING INSPIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! two thumbs up for inspiration and a full heart and a soaring soul! :)

my wish for YOUR 2012

i love new years eve!! it is one of my most favorite days of the year! i associate it with new beginnings, the pursuit of dreams and realizations and goals fulfilled... and of course, my most favorite... MAGIC!

new years eve to me is magical. it's an evening filled with wonder. and hope. when our eyes and hearts seem more open than usual to the possibilities of what's to come... what will the upcoming year hold for us?

my wish for everyone in this 2-0-1-2 is...

that we are all blessed enough to follow our hearts. to feel as though we are doing what we are meant to.

that when we hear our soul's call, urging us to do that certain something that seems impossible, THAT WE AT LEAST TRY TO DO IT!

i hope that we all have the doors to our hearts open wide. and when those doors open, we feel things in ways we've never felt before. we see things through clearer eyes. we feel things through a fuller heart.

i hope that 2012 shifts our perspective. i hope we all start seeing our world differently. through heart shaped glasses instead of dollar signs. i hope we see riches defined less with the amount of money in our pockets, and more with the amount of love we are giving and receiving. sure, love doesn't pay the bills at night- but money doesn't warm your soul.

i hope that we are all blessed enough to realize what it was that we were put on this earth, in this lifetime, to do- and that just the realization alone brings us more internal peace than we've ever known before.

i'm really not sure that i can say it better than Oprah did on her finale. it held as much meaning for me then, as it does now. i hope when you read this, you find yourself shaking your head YES in agreement. i hope it speaks to you, the way it spoke to me.

"What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called.

Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it.

Every time we have seen a person on this stage who is a success in their life, they spoke of the job, and they spoke of the juice that they receive from doing what they knew they were meant to be doing. We saw it in the volunteers who rocked abandoned babies in Atlanta. We saw it with those lovely pie ladies from Cape Cod making those delicious potpies. ... We saw it every time Tina Turner, Celine, Bocelli or Lady Gaga lit up the stage with their passion.

Because that is what a calling is.

It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show.

To live from the heart of yourself.

You have to make a living; I understand that.

But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."

Happy 2012 everyone! let this be the year that we each go out and find what illuminates us, and light up the world with our inner glow!

on finding peace & positivity

i feel good.

emotionally.

mentally.

really.fucking.good.

and it feels like it's taken me quite awhile to get to this place. to dig myself out of the dark spiral that was trying so hard to consume my amazing and kick ass life. fuck that noise. aint happening. i rock too hard for any of that.

so i'm feeling GOOD. it's within me. inside me. this positive feeling. like i'm on the right path. and things are unfolding how they're supposed too. and it's all going to be okay. it's going to be better than okay. it's going to be... amazing! incredible! and positive! that doesn't make it any less scary and to tell you the truth.. i'm not 100% sure WHERE my path is heading.... i just know that i'm back on it. and i trust that i'll get where i need to be.

and i can see that now. hell, i can more than see it. i can feel it. i know it's coming. i feel the change in the air.

i did have a psychic reading this past weekend that totally rocked. more on that another time. i'm also reading some of rebecca rosen's book spirited.. and it's helping me. i love spirit guides.. soulmates.. past lives.. regressions.. life's lessons.. our akashic records.. soul growth.. and all of that. i've believed in those things for as long as i can remember. the book has been just what i needed right now. it's helping me reconnect with my inner self. my life's purpose. my positivity and spirit and soul. and wanting to put all of that out there. positive energy. love. all good things.

i know you might be rolling your eyes or thinking i'm crazy. that's okay. we all have our own beliefs that help us through troubled times. we believe in things like spirits and/or god for a reason.

i'm in a good place mentally and emotionally. and i've been trying to get here for over a year now. in the grand scheme of things, a year is nothing when compared to a lifetime. but a year's worth of time is too long to put up with bad energy, and negative emotions. you have to get out before you drown. especially when you know the people around you see you drowning, yet refuse to offer you a helping hand. instead, they just stir the pot you're in even more to see how long before you find the strength to either get yourself out, or succumb to the swirling waters and go under. shitty metaphor, but welcome to the past 13 months of my life.

anyway, i was just checking in. i feel good and i wanted to share. i want YOU to feel good. i want you to chase after your dreams. to think about and realize what it is you truly want. to not only think about them, but write them down. say them out loud. REALIZE them. i know the negative stuff is easier to believe than the positive. but it's just because it's so easy to self doubt. it's so easy to talk ourselves out of things. to tell ourselves we don't deserve the things we truly want.

but it's not true.

crazy ass dreams

i had the craziest dream last night.

i used to keep a dream journal where i would write down every single bit of anything i could recall from my dream. even if i woke up at 2 in the morning, i would talk into my cell phone so that i could write the dream down later. i'm not sure why i did this, other than the fact that i really liked to see how my brain dreamed in correlation with what was going on in the world and more specifically, around me. and sometimes, it would freak me out the way i would dream about certain things.... and then similiar events would happen.

that's probably the real reason i started writing my dreams down. to see how much of what i dreamed "came true." it wasn't often. at all. which was kind of disappointing really cause i guess i totally wanted to be like the chick on the show medium... minus all of the scary killing and stuff.

anyway, my dream last night.. was all sorts of crazy. there was a secret combat training facility set up in a suburban neighborhood. i wasn't even in this dream, i was just witnessing all of these events. i was following these 2 guys during their traning and how they tried to blend in with their neighbors and make friends with families. one family had these 2 teenage daughters and the next thing i remember, there is some crazy stuff going on in the training facility. one of the guys ended up being good and trying to save the 2 girls, while the other guy was bad and was (obviously) trying to kill the girls.. the girls got shot, but the good guy was carrying them both out. that's all i remember of that dream.

but there was another. oh yes.

i was with some friends in this huge building. we were taking the stairs to get to this private room at the top of the plaza. when we got there, these men were holding a book with all sorts of notes written in it and a bunch of like tabs marking pages. they asked my friend if she'd ever seen the book before. she said no, but apparently it was her husbands. we took off running. the next thing i remember, a bomb went off. and i stepped onto an area where i could see the section of the building we were just in, and the whole thing was gone. i can see it perfectly in my head right now. charred steel.. smoking block.. devastation. and then this guy i know said to me "did i tell you how it was going to all end?" and i was like "no..." and he said "remember when i told you about the sky opening up that one time? well when it opened up before, i saw her face in the whole sky. welcome to the end." and i walked away.

and woke up.

proof that i'm crazy while sleeping

listen to this fucked up dream i had the other night. i am a crazy bitch. i mean, literally.

so boyfriend and i are at some random house and the freaking guy from twilight is there and apparently i'm going to be having sex with him. there's a bedroom with 2 beds in it and we're going in there, and boyfriend is going to sleep in the other bed. and i'm complaining telling them that i'm not going to fuck this guy if boyfriend is sitting right next to me the whole time.. that's messed up... he should at least go in the OTHER room and leave me alone!

well then i had to go take buffy (yes, the vampire slayer) to her friends house so that boyfriend could sleep in her room and that ended up taking all night. i was driving back FINALLY getting to screw this guy when the sun was coming up. well boyfriend meets me outside and is talking about how he thinks he had an affair. i was like "what do you mean you THINK you had an affair?!?!" and i was losing my shit. he said it wasn't physical at all, but he would talk to this chick for hours... basically some sort of emotional bullshit. but he was telling me that it wasn't even about him- he would listen to her all the time... and now she was going crazy saying that she was going to tell me all about her and whatever. so i asked how old she was. and he said "19." and i was like "WELL OF COURSE SHE IS GOING TO GO CRAZY! SHE IS A STUPID 19 YEAR OLD GIRL!!! SHE IS PROBABLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND THINKS YOU TOTALLY LED HER ON AND SHE PROBABLY WANTS YOU TO SPLIT UP WITH ME SO YOU GUYS CAN BE TOGETHER!! YOU ARE SO STUPID! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS WITH SOMEONE SO YOUNG AND STUPID?!?!?"

and i was pissed.off.

HA! i love how boyfriend is the devil in this, and my fucking some other guy (which never ended up happening) is totally fine and normal.

what crazy dreams do you have?!