the 40 mile MS bike ride

it happened folks.


oh yes, did it happen.


i did 40 miles ON MY BEACH CRUISER for the second year in a row! (go me) it's not that riding a bike 40 miles is all that hard... cause let's face it, it really isn't. but you try going uphill on a freaking beach cruiser.


that.shit.sucks.

this year was WAY harder than last year. i have no idea why. other than maybe i was uber motivated last year? or maybe cause i KNEW where the hills were and when they were coming this year?! i have no clue, but i feel like i had to get off my bike a lot to walk it up those stupid hills. i'm a failure.

not really.

i totally rule.

like our team tent- WHICH HAS WON BEST TENT TWO YEARS IN A ROW MIND YOU! we (and by we, i mean robin the tent designer, decorator, purchaser of all things tent) TOTALLY ROCK!!!!!!!


speaking of our tent, did i mention that we had an arts & crafts section for the kids to make beachy picture frames? ahem. i'm a kid. so i made one. BUT LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS!!!! :)
i named my frame MALIBU. like the beach, not the rum, alchies.


until the REAL pictures come back, all i have are blurry camera phone pics. cause i'm awesome like that!


to everyone who sponsored me... THANK YOU SO MUCH! i had fun (even though it may not sound like it)... i will be doing it again next year. i'll complain more then! ha


and YES, i did cut the sleeves off of my shirt. i don't believe in sleeves people. i'm not sure HOW MANY TIMES i have to tell y'all this! :)

shredding, again

why do i do this to myself?!

remember the last 2 times i shredded, i got HUGE? i do. but clearly, i've put that out of my mind.

i am shredding again. but this time, i'm not doing it every single day. i'm doing it 3-4 times a week and i'm super counting calories. i'm on day 6, and so far.. so good! i actually don't think i'm getting bigger this time!!!!!! *knocks on wood*

why was i the only one whose thighs and ass grew doing this excercise?!?? for reals, cause i measured!

what i do love about this workout is that i sweat more in 20 minutes doing this thing, than i do after an hour on the treadmill. and i feel sore all the time. i love that. i will love this workout even more if i lose a few inches and get toned up. then i'll believe all you shredheads, that it actually worked! :)

are you guys working out in anticipation of summer?! or are you dreading it?

trying to lose weight by summer?

cause really, isn't that a huge topic of conversation on a daily basis between women (and yeah, some of you guys too)? i feel like i'm constantly battling these "last 10 pounds"... and with summer coming up- and the fact that i like to get tan and wear shorts... well..

yeah.

so my girlfriend from high school, kim... she's been trying to get me to try this weight loss stuff she's been doing. and let me tell you, she's crazy skinny lately. she blames her new diet plan. i blame crack. :)

she insists that it's fabulous and even though i honestly only feel like i have 6 pounds that i want to lose, i still want it gone! (because i'm 6 pounds heavier than i was last summer.. and let me tell you that those 6 pounds have all camped out in my ass and upper thighs) i know 6 pounds isn't much.. but it is a lot when it all resides within one area of my body. 6 pounds BE GONE!

so she offered to send me 3 days worth of product for me to try out! and well, i'm not one to turn down shit that could help me look even hotter than i already do, so i said YES! then she almost made my cry when she ran down the laundry list of items she'd be sending me. (i mean, i was super overwhelmed in the same way i got overwhelmed the first time i started using a 3 step face wash system for my face at night... I HAVE TO USE THREE STEPS?! IN ORDER?! OH MY GAWD, I'LL NEVER GET IT RIGHT!!!) but then when i got everything in the mail, it all made way more sense. :) and even though she sent me a little bit of everything, i only used what i would use if i had bought it myself. basically, the main componant is the shakes that you drink for either 2 meals a day, or 1. i was totally on board. i mean, that's soooo slim fast-ish to me, and i loved slim fast, so i'm down with shakes for meals. ha

anyway, this stuff is called body with vi.. maybe you've heard of it? seems pretty popular lately.. i did a twitter search and it's all over that thing! so, i did 2 shakes a day, for 3 days. one for breakfast and one for lunch. the shakes come in a pouch that is one flavor (sweet cream) and it smells like vanilla frosting when you open it. *swoon* i put the first one in orange juice for breakfast and it was surprisingly good (i was honestly scared with my first sip)! i really, really liked it. but since i couldn't get past the whole vanilla frosting smell (and i feel like frosting belongs in milk & not juice) i bought some non-fat milk and used that for my lunch shake. EVEN better!!! it really was super yummy. reminds me a lot of vanilla slim fast shakes, which i LOVE! but with this stuff, you can put it in pretty much anything. soy products, yogurt, fruit and ice and then blend it.... i stuck with the milk for the 3 days. cause it was so dang good.

she also sent me these energy flavor packet things you can put in your water. i fell in love with that stuff. they were so good and i loved how i felt after. i totally noticed a difference. plus, it's fun to feel like you're drinking something OTHER than water for once. i'm such a freaking water whore, but it does get boring.

did i lose any weight in 3 days, you're probably wondering? i didn't. but in all honesty, my body takes longer than a mere 3 days to lose anything. i plan on ordering a set of the shakes because in the summer- i lose my appetite and i struggle with what to eat for lunch almost everyday. i'm not always very hungry, but i know i need to eat and nothing ever sounds good. the shakes will be easy, quick, yummy and filling. i think they'll be perfect. and then if they help me lose weight, EVEN BETTER!!!

so yeah. if you've tried body with vi, i'd love to hear about how it was for you. and if you haven't, but you're intrigued.. check out my girlfriends website here. you can email her and ask her any questions. she's super knowledgeable and helpful. and if you order, i hope you'll help her out and order from her. you can ask me anything too. but you already know that. :)

i need to talk about tennis shoes

i'm having a problem. since i've apparently turned into a runner when i workout... wait, let's be serious. i'm more of a speed walker slash jogger. i don't really "run" per se. anyway... my feet are freaking killing me in both pairs of sneakers i own.

one pair makes my feet feel like they're on fire, they get so freaking hot. and they squish my toes together and eventually start to really fucking hurt while i'm running.

the other pair is lighter and more breathable, but also hurts my toes.

maybe my feet are defective?

since i've never really had to shop for good running shoes, i have no idea what i'm supposed to be looking for. how should they feel on my feet? what should they do? and how do you know that they'll work in the long run just from trying them on for 10 seconds in a store??

i need running shoe help, advice, etc!

thanks loves. :)

i'll be up at the gym..

i have to share this with all of you because it's exciting. or i'm excited! or something!

i've been posting on and off for years now about all my fitness adventures. doing p90x... the shred.. cleansing.. body wraps.. having both the shred & p90x give me massive(r) thighs. (shaddup kristen).

i'm sure in all my posts about working out, i may have mentioned once or twice (or 50 times) how much i loathe running. how it hurt my knee. or how i literally could not run for an entire minute without feeling like i wanted to die. yet my happy ass could be on the elliptical for an hour and be perfectly fine. it never made any sense to me, but i just chalked it up to the fact that i simply wasn't made to run.

i have to tell you that i've been on the treadmill for probably two months now. wait, i'm not writing this from the treadmill... like, i'm not on there right now and i've never left and i'm living on it or anything. i mean, i've been working out on the treadmill for 2 months now. now that i've cleared that up.. ha!

i've never felt better. i feel like i've never looked better. my legs have changed shape and i see pictures of myself and i don't want to throw up. i think i look freaking hot. i feel like i look hot. and i swear it's all because i've been jogging/walking. i can now jog consistantly for almost 40 minutes without stopping. this is something that you have to understand i thought i would NEVER be able to do. i'm not saying that my legs are suddenly amazing and i should be a model or anything, i'm just saying how jogging has made ME feel about myself. i like the way i look. i want to continue to look better. i feel like jogging is the reason for this change. and yes, my legs are still thick.. my ass is still huge.. and my hips are still wide. DON'T.CARE.

it has taken me this long to get to this point, but i love everything about it. my legs are firming up. they are toning up. they are getting smaller. nothing has given me results the way jogging / walking has. so i'm here to tell you that if you're someone who thinks jogging isn't for you... give it another shot.

i started with walking mostly and doing intervals of jogging for as long as i could take it. which was literally probably 1 minute at a time. i would go at a pace of 4.0 and i would go for an entire hour, so i would do 4 miles. anyway.. i kept pushing myself to jog more and more and well now.. almost 40 minutes straight suckers!!!!! i love it! i think i'm inspired by my new fantastical legs. lol or the fact that i just feel like they are fantastical.

so yeah. jogging. the miracle workout. who knew?

body wraps?! they're a little crazy

FYI- i was NOT paid for this. i was not given this wrap for free. i paid my hard non earned money for this wrap.



i had my first ever body wrap today from simply beautiful in northern california!!! i honestly had no idea what to expect or what the hell was going to happen to me... so let me just fill you in eh?

first of all, i wore my bikini to get wrapped in. which is kind of what they recommend (i think). the first thing they do is weigh you and give you the options of having before and after measurements. i totally did that!!! after you're all marked up with pen marks (so they can measure you in the same places after the hour is over), they start the wrap. it's basically ace bandages soaked in some sort of minerals and whatnot. they start at your feet and wrap you super tightly all the way up the entire length of your body. if i counted correctly (cause who knows, the oxygen could have been cut off from my brain at this point) they wrap your body with 12 seperate bandages. then there is 1 additional one for your head and chin. you are wrapped up so tight and the only thing not wrapped is the front of your face.. think eyes, nose and mouth. i looked HILARIOUS and wished so badly that i could take a picture of the madness.

it was honestly a little hard to breathe at first because of how tight it was wrapped in the ribcage area. but that doesn't last long. after you're all wrapped, they put a poncho on you. i asked her why in god's name was she putting me in a poncho and why she would hide the gorgeousness that was my ridiculously large ass in ace bandages? she said that it gets cold... and i would want the poncho.

i thought she was weird.

but she was right.

so i'm all wrapped up. and we're talking tight as hell.... that you can barely walk because you can't really bend. i walked over to this area where she sprayed warm solution through the bandages and then directed me to a gizelle glder thing. you have to move on that for an entire hour. they said the movement helps with the circulation and getting the minerals absorbed in the body better.

before i knew it.. i was freezing. no joke.

so every 20 minutes my girl would check on me.. make me stop gliding and she would respray me with the stuff on my bandages. oh yeah, you have plastic bags tied to your feet and hands and they um... fill up with water, or juice, or shit coming out of your body and skin. it totally sloshes around while you're gliding on the glider thing. which is all sorts of wrong, but whatever. did i mention that at one point i felt like i was going to pass out because i was suddenly STARVING! and i mean, so dang hungry. it was odd. but it passed, i didn't die and i kept on gliding and sloshing around.

okay, after the hour is done- you get unwrapped and remeasured. and that part is kind of exciting because you get to find out if you lost anything! i lost over 10 and 1/2 inches total in this one visit! but let's be clear.. those inches are from ALL over my body. i'm talking the CHIN area (who the hell loses inches in their chin?!?! apparently me).. arms... various parts of my legs and hips.. my waist... my stomach.. they all combine to make the total inch loss.

i think the most interesting part is how i feel now... tonight. i feel worked. tired. like something happened, or is happening in my body. i don't know what it is, but it's hard to explain.

i do think that if you continued to do these wraps on a consistant basis you would lose real significant inches. but it's not cheap. and i really don't understand how or why it works at all.

but it was fun to do this one time. not sure i'd ever do it again... but maybe that will change after the weekend. they said the inch loss should continue for 2 days. that would be awesome and i'll report back if it's true!!!!

but yeah. i think the wrap has gone to my brain, zapped all my funny and made me have to pee a lot.

any questions, just ask. i might be smart enough to answer them. lol

the frosting gods are watching out for me

or something.

okay, so i've neglected to tell you all what i'm doing now! haha.. i'm doing phase 1 of south beach again (i did it back in january and have been able to maintain my weight this whole time- woot woot). i'm doing it because i still have these pesky and ultra annoying 10 pounds to lose. i'm sick of always feeling like i have 10 pounds to lose. so i'm going to lose these fuckers if it kills me. not really, cause i don't plan on dying. *knock on wood*

last time when i did the 2 week phase 1 thing.. i think i lost about 10 pounds. which i desperately needed cause um.. i was getting a bit too chunky for my monkey. talk about putting on the holiday pounds... i put on a small country. but it was hard. everyday was a fucking challenge. so yeah.. here i am again, doing this bullshit. i must really hate myself.

the thing that doesn't really make sense is why is it so hard? i mean, basically i'm cutting out breads, fruit and candy sugar for 2 weeks. it's not like i walk around the office with a loaf of bread in my mouth everyday, or even eat bready things all that often in the first place. ( although speaking of bread, i totally came to the realization this past weekend that it's not the bread i even want to eat.. IT'S THE BUTTER! the bread is just the excuse to eat ridiculous amounts of yummy, goodnessy, butter. omg, i love butter.) so i'm on day 4 and i've already lost 2 pounds. that's right bitches. but it is still freaking hard. not so much the bread or carby parts this time around... but i cannot STOP THINKING ABOUT CUPCAKES AND FROSTING!!!!!! it's no joke. cream cheese frosting is in my head all day long. i had a dream about it last night. i can't stop. it's all i think about.

and to further the torture.. listen to this!!!! i'm sitting in my office and my phone rings with someone from the commons (our food place at work). i answer and she goes "jenn... so and so made you a red velvet cupcake with extra extra extra cream cheese frosting on it! come down and get it!"

i hung up the phone and seriously debated on what to do. should i go down there and get it? i mean, i don't want to be rude. will i be able to get it and NOT eat it? oh lord, i shouldn't tempt myself like this.

i started walking down to the comm as if i was under a spell. my legs took me right to where i needed to go. the cupcake couldn't even be seen under the amount of frosting she had put on there for me. a piece of me died inside. there was a small blob of the frosting on the plate. i took my finger to it and dabbed a small amount into my mouth. all the while i'm yelling at myself "omg you cheater! stop it! you can do this for 2 weeks fatass, COME ON!!!"

it was soooo good.

but i knew i had to stop.

so i decided that i would walk back to my office and give it to someone, or put it in the kitchen. as i was walking, like a normal person does, the cupcake out of nowhere just tumbled off the plate it was on and onto the floor, frosting first. there was a huge ass blob of frosting all over the carpet, and this little cupcake butt sticking up. i started laughing so hard. you should have seen me trying to clean it up. it was a disaster. and so messy. and ruined. no one could eat it now.


thank the goddess!!!!!

weekend update

so first off, i'll have you know that i got super sick out of nowhere. and no, i do not think it had anything to do with the cleanse at all. i felt like i was getting a cold or something when i started the cleanse. anyway, by friday i was completely out of it. i didn't know what day it was and i had all the signs of a fever (sweating profusely, then normal.. then sweating again) minus the fever. it was the weirdest thing ever. i'm just happy i feel better! *the children of the world rejoice*

so after almost dying, we took the boat out on the bay! and right away i was so pissed off that i didn't bring my camera because it was such an awesome day. we went fishing and um.... will.i.am caught a STINGRAY!!! talking about stuff like this isn't as fun when you don't have pictures to go along with it! so really, will caught a freaking stingray.. and while he's pulling it up so that he can get the hook and stuff back, i'm totally mesmerized staring at the things eyes and mouth. i mean, i've never seen one in real life. (zoo's or marine world doesn't count) i'm not even paying attention to the fact that the things stinger is flying around trying to sting boyfriend and will.i.am. it was crazy. but awesome! did i mention the guys caught 2 fish? well they did. we ate them.

after getting back from the boat ride, my hair (which had been in a ponytail mind you) was so freaking ratted up, that i started crying because i didn't think i was ever going to be able to get a brush through it again. i ran to the store to try to find some detangler and let me tell you, pantene's detangler can SUCK IT. it didn't work for shit, and my freaking hair (if you could call it that at that point) was in a huge ball of tangled hell. it took me 40 minutes to detangle my hair. conditioner. detangler. conditioner. comb. huge clumps of hair in my fist. and some scissors. oh yes, i had to cut parts out. so now i need to figure out a better way to put my hair when we go out on the boat cause i cannot deal with that aftermath again.

update on the cleanse? i'm on day 4 and i'm not really seeing any results in all honesty. the tea isn't doing anything for me, although i've started steeping it for way longer. so while i'm sitting here thinking that my colon is so clean, i have nothing in there, naked jen let me know that it means i'm SUPER blocked up inside and not the opposite. that's kinda scary. also, i started having super weird cravings. like for foods that i do not eat normally, or i try to avoid. like english muffins.. and baked potatoes... and mac and cheese. carbs anyone? i told naked jen about this and she said it's all part of the detox process. that i should be like "wow.. cravings for stuff i don't like.. neat" and then move along. i wish i would have known that before i actually gave into those cravings!! i figured i was craving it for a reason dammit. i guess i won't do that anymore. just adding to the blockage that is my apparent insides.

sweet.

day 1 of cleansing

so i started the cleanse this morning. remember how i asked y'all for opinions on what wouldn't kill me, and what would work, etc? well thanks to naked jen, i chose dr. natura for my very first cleanse. seriously, will you all take a minute and click onto that website, because um... there is something on there that a guy shit out that i like to call a seaweed lei. it's not seaweed. and it's definitely not something you want to wear around your neck. it's DISGUSTING! you're welcome. but seriously, if something like that is just chilling inside my stomach, i want it out! i mean, really. (i might have joked with boyfriend and told him that um, if i start crapping something like out, i'm calling him up to the bathroom so he can grab hold of it and i'll just start walking away until it's done).

omg.

i am so fucking rank.

did you all just stop reading?

no?

such brave souls (still gross right)

i was terrified that this was going to hurt my sensitive stomach so badly that i would keel over and die from cramping in the middle of a meeting at work or something. cause remember when i tried to eat a bunch of fiber before? and it hurt so bad? yeah. because of that, i have been terrified to start this cleanse. so far i've done 2 parts of the 3 part thing. tonight, i have to drink a tea. and i'm thinking that might be the part that kills me. i don't know. all i do know is that i feel awesome and my stomach doesn't hurt at all so far *knocks on wood* and i'm hoping it stays this way for the entire 30 days.

yes, i'm doing this for 30 days. maybe longer if i feel like i "need" to.

i'll randomly keep you updated. not cause i think you care, but because what if i poop out a seaweed lei of my very own? i am SO telling you guys.

detoxing. fasting. cleansing.

what the hell is the difference between the 3 anyway?

i feel like i have been beyond horrid to my body lately. i have never before in my life felt the desire or urge to do any type of cleanse or detox. but now i can't get the idea out of my head. it's like my body is telling my brain "HI. WE NEED TO CLEANSE. MAKE THAT FAT BITCH DO IT. THANKS." but i didn't want to try a cleanse without posting about it here first. i figure that maybe some of you have done one (or more) before.. and i need your advice cause i have no clue what to do.

don't tell me not to do it, cause i'm stubborn and not going to listen to that. and for every person who tells me not to do it, i'll add on another day and then before you know it i won't be eating for a bazillion days and then i'll be dead and all you commenters who cried and said "dooooooon't dooooo it sterrrrrr" will only have yourselves to blame. and who wants that kind of guilt on their conscious?

okay.. so i've been reading up on all sorts of fasts, cleanses and detox stuff. i don't want to have to do it myself. like i'm not going to do a juice fast where i have to buy a bunch of shit from the store and i have to blend it and peel off the skins, etc. too much work and i'm way too lazy for that (and apparently not THAT motivated). so then i was on gnc's website looking at their cleanses and stuff. and those look like things i could handle. probably cause it looks easier... drinks.. things you put in water.. pills. i don't want to do this for too long. i'm thinking that 7 days will be my max and that might kill me. at least for 3 days (if i can do it).

so does anyone have any advice? or anything you've done that works well and you didn't turn into a raging bitch? i swear someone posted about this not too long ago...



ps- it's 09.09.09 today. cooool. i missed the 09:09 on the clock this morning though.

can we talk food?

i mean, listen.. i've been really bad with the whole 30 day shred thing (which i am totally renaming to NONSTOP shred cause bullshit, that thing does not just last 30 days.. then what? you just stop? whatever.. you're doing it until you die and you know it).. i don't mind though. i hate it (read, like it) enough that i think i will do it for as long as i can. i get bored and stuff, so i don't want it to be the only thing i do- but i really do think it works. and i think the workouts are good, although i loathe with an unnecessary passion, the level that calls itself two. i hate you two.


also, i think my body takes longer than most to actually fix itself. rearrange the goods. shed inches. i have to stick with programs for longer than they are intended. fine. i'll do it, but don't get me wrong.. i am going to bitch about it every step of the way! clear? cool.


oh yeah, the point of this blog. EATING. what are you guys eating? have you found that you didn't change your eating habits, worked out and you've lost weight? or have you done both?been working out, and also eating differently?


if so.. WHAT are you eating? i am talking, give me a list of your daily eats. from breakfast to dinner suckers. i know everyone's bodies are different, and i think i know what works for mine- i just want to know what the consensus is with everyone in regards to food. so talk diet with me folks. talk me down from the donuts and frozen yogurt, thanks!

anyone still shredding?

i haven't talked (or bitched) about the 30 day shred lately. wanna know why? cause i haven't been doing it.

I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING ANYTHING!!!

i feel gross. i feel disgusting. i think that working out has become such an integral part of my daily routine that i definitely notice a difference in how i feel subconsciously about my body if i haven't done it. great, now i have to be all accountable and shit to my body. i did not want this.... something else to feel guilty about.

anyway, i hate the 30 day shred. in a good way. i think it works. i think it's challenging and i love that it's 20 minutes. my ideal goal is to play volleyball about 2 times a week, and then do the shred the other 3 days. at whatever level i feel like doing that day. which means i'll probably never feel like doing level 2. level 2 can suck it. ha

i'm writing this post because i have to get back on the wagon. i have to hold myself accountable for doing this. 20 minutes is not that long. it's not too much time to carve out of your day. so there are no excuses. it's not even about looking hot. it's about feeling hot. apparently this whole working out thing makes me feel good about myself. CURSE YOU 30 DAY SHRED!

I KNEW IT!!!!

all y'all said i was crazy via twitter DM and emails... but i know i'm fucking right. i feel like the 30 day shred is making my legs thicker. i felt the same way when i did p90x too. sure, my legs are probably becoming stronger and creating more muscle mass, but um... i don't necessarily want MORE muscle mass. i don't want thicker legs. i want thinner thighs. NOT ONES THAT LOOK LIKE THEY COULD CRUSH YOUR SKULL!!

my gf meg pointed me towards this link. it talks about body shapes and what excercises are good for that type of shape... what you should do to lose weight in your problem areas. not what you should do to ADD to the problem. makes sense to me that not every single person could use the same exact workout and see the same results. i mean, people might be losing a lot of weight doing something at first- but what about when you're just at your last 10 - 15 pounds? don't you think you need to focus on really specific excercises that address and work your problem areas? yeah, i do too.

i'm not being lazy dammit (curse you kristen). and i'm not making excuses. i just don't think that 1 workout is right for every single person who tries it. i do think that the 30 day shred is making me thicker. it might be muscle thickness, but still.. it's THICKNESS. and that's the last thing i want.

but then i see christina's results here and holy shit, i am SO proud of her and so excited for her and it's inspired me to not give up. maybe the "thickness" is temporary and will fade as long as i keep pushing through the workouts? i mean, i was super, super sore for the first 3 days but when i woke up on the 4th day, the soreness was completely gone. and i didn't stop or alter the workout, i just kept doing it.

i am determind to do a full 30 days of this and then i'll evaluate if it has made me genuinely thicker, or if i'm just a crazy person.

30 day, i am getting thicker?

you know the whole world is doing the 30 day shred, right? you're probably tired of reading about it.. especially if you're NOT doing it.

suffer through this one, k? cause maybe you can help me out even if you're NOT doing the shred.

i.feel.thicker.

for reals. i feel like my legs are getting BIGGER. not muscular (even though they feel stronger) but THICKER. my gf meg has me convinced that this happens at first... that sometimes you get bigger and then you start to lose or tone up.

so i'm asking you land of blogs. is she lying to me so that i'll bust out of my jeans, or is she right?!

why 30 day shred sucks

here is a list of things i don't like about it. yes, i have a list. and yes, i haven't even done day 3 of the workout yet. suck it.

1- i still hate that you cannot fast forward through this chicks stupid speech. i don't need to hear it more than once. ever. and then it has some intro crazy thing you can't ff through either. seriously jillian? get with the menu option program.

2- the ONLY thing sore on my body is my legs. they are extremely fucking sore. i hate that i have stairs in my house because i almost tumbled down them 10 times last night. my legs are not my friends right now.

2a- i don't think she focuses enough on your abs at all. my tummy is not sore. in the slightest. and i feel like my entire midsection (including my ass) is being ignored.

2a.1- i'm not sure how effective this workout is for the rest of your body. granted, i'm still on level 1, so maybe i'll be eating my words once again when i start another level. but so far, i feel like i'm kicking my legs ass, but not the rest of my body.

3- i still can't wrap my head around the fact that 20 minutes is enough of a workout time. it seems like right when i start to get momentum and feel like i could keep going, it's over. and i feel like i should hit some machine or something when it's all done.

the end.


ps- have you seen my new blog layout?! what do you think of it? i busted my ass trying to format it similiar to my website, so let me know if things aren't working, or if they're funky, etc. THANKS!

the 30 day shred your brain cells

this is what kristen and the 30 day shred has done to me. i now have a code name. and stats. and i'm kind of scared of myself.

Code Name: Bootay Licious

Tag Line: get in my way and my ass might eat you.

Goal: to tone the hell up. i'm not really concerned with what i weigh, so much as how i feel in my clothes and how i'm shaped. i want to look like my thighs and ass didn't consume a small child on my way out the door.

Diet Plan: same eating plan as the last 6 or so weeks. it's a modified version of south beach (which basically means i still eat a bunch of junk food).

Rules: try really hard to cut out the junk. good luck with that self.

Shred Plan: starting on level 1, rotating 3 and 5 pound hand weights depending on the excercise. working out mon- fri and not on weekends.

where ster puts foot in mouth: is really hoping that 20 minutes feels like enough of a workout.

back from day 1 of workout.

you know, i really assumed that since i did the p90x, that i was at least in some kind of shape. i figured that doing only 20 minutes of this stuff was not going to feel like a good workout. i thought i would have to do it twice each day. seriously. i figured that after level 1, day one was done- i'd have to rewind and just do it again.

i'm.an.idiot.

the workouts are intense. they are really concentrated and even when you're working on your arms, you're working on your legs. it's a good workout. it's hard. your legs will shake. your arms will feel like they are about to give out at any moment. my abs? well, they're fine. that bitch has to bring me something tougher to hurt my abs. ha. (is askeered of level 3). i sweated more during this 20 minutes than i do working out on the elliptical for an hour of interval training. no joke.

walking back to my office after the workout? i almost fell going down the stairs. i had to literally HOLD ON to the rail.

what i like about this so far? that it's only 20 minutes and it feels like it's a million. it's tough. you feel like you're going to die. that was my biggest complaint about p90x. those workouts are an hour long. and the yoga x was 90 minutes!! that is TOO long. who has that kind of time? and if you do, who wants to workout for that long?! not me. i hate working out as it is. so yeah... it begins. 30 day shred (mine will probably take longer since i'm not doing weekends).

what i don't like? you can't freaking fast forward to just start the damn workout already. you have to listen to her go through this stupid talk with you. i've heard it once, don't need to hear it again- i'm just ready to go. and i can't.

before and after pics to come after.

maybe.

i might puss out.

let's talk 30 day shred

i know a ton of you bitches are doing this 30 day shred thing. let's talk about it cause i have questions. not to mention the fact that my real life girlfriend meg and i wanna do it. wait, that sentence sounds really messed up and nasty. well if you have a dirty mind it does. HA


1- is it worth doing?


2- do you like doing it?


3- do you feel like it's helping or doing ANYTHING for you? ie, have you lost weight OR inches?


4- would you do it again?


5- just talk to me about it.... what you liked, what you didn't, what you think works, what doesn't...

and thanks!!!!! SMOOCH!

this whole working out thing

while i'm trying to eat well... isn't really working out.. well.

okay. i am tracking every single morsel of food that goes into my wonderful mouth via livestrong (the daily plate thing). on the days where i don't work out, i find that it is incredibly easy to be mindful of what i'm eating. i find that i'm very conscious of how i'm eating, and what i can eat, etc. it's totally a no brainer. easy. loves it.

but on the days where i do work out, i freaking eat everything in sight. not necessarily bad things, but it's almost like i can't stop eating cause i'm so freaking hungry all the time. i can eat lunch, but then it's not even an hour later and i'm telling my co-worker that i must eat something or i'll die. i'm not exaggerating either because on the days where i do workout, i consume (per my daily plate) at least an additional 500 calories. at least. it's like working out makes me crazy with hunger. or just crazy.

this is why working out pisses me off. or just one of the many reasons. ha.

ps- i am pretty much at a standstill as far as my actual weight loss goes. but i feel like i look awesome and i almost don't care about these last 10 (or so) pounds. but i will tell you that i was totally right on when i said that working out doesn't help me lose weight. i am totally food based. like a good cake. mmmmmmmmmmm cake.

weight loss update?

so i haven't talked about my fat ass lately. it's time.

the 2 weeks of hell are officially OVER (and have been for almost a week now) and i think it's fair to say i lost somewhere between 8 and 10 pounds. i can't say for sure because i did not weigh myself before this all started. i have a weight that i WAS (before the holidays) and i had lost 5 pounds from that number. i'm positive it's more because i ate everything in site and didn't limit the candy. movie theatre size gobstoppers and bottle caps anyone? yeah, that was me. so i know i was over the number i thought i was at. but by how much? i dunno, so i'm guestimating.

i will tell you that the hardest part about those 2 weeks was my own mentality about it. i am so fucking rebelious by nature that i will seriously fight my own self. knowing that i CAN'T have something, made me want it that much more. just to be like "you don't control me" to my own self. very counter productive, i know. but now that i'm past those 2 weeks and i can eat more, it's awesome. since i know that i CAN have something, i genuinely don't want it. i really wanted some fresh bread with butter and so i literally took the smallest slice of it, and didn't even eat half. and that was fine for me. settled the want and the cravings and i don't think it made me gain all my weight back (or any of it realistically).

i guess the hardest part of all of this will be me. i do believe that i'm my own worst enemy. i don't like being told what to do, or how to do it- apparently not even from myself. all i know is that right now, i feel good. i don't feel like i'm depriving myself. if i want something, i'm having it- just in very small amounts. and that's how i want to live. eating what i want... just not everyone's serving of it. you know?

i haven't started working out yet, but when i do- look out! hopefully the last 10-15 pounds will just drop off. that would be nice. i'm still a fat ass, but i feel better about it. and i'm still losing about 1/2 pound per day. for now anyway. i'm sure that will stop once i start consuming a normal person's amount of calories each day. i started keeping a food journal at livestrong and i've learned that i'm barely eating any calories. i'm not hungry and i feel like i eat plenty- but the calorie number? practically zilch. so it's all really interesting.

and that's about it.

fat ass out.

why i'm a mental case when it comes to losing weight

and why i write the longest post titles in the history of mankind. couldyouimagineifididntspaceoutmywordsandwrotesthetitleslikethis? wow. that was hard. my brain definitely wants to space out the words. and no, it doesn't want to capitalize things. suck it.

if you've been following my blog lately at all, you'd know that i'm in the process of torturing the hell outta myself... aka attempting to lose weight. you'd also know that i'm on day 11 of said torture. is it any wonder that the word DIE is in diet? i didn't think so.

here's what i'm learning. and i think i should also clarify. i'm definitely not doing a NO carbs, NO sugar detox for these 14 days. it's more like a LOW sugar, LOW carbs. cause you see, i could drink milk if i wanted (1% or non-fat), but i'm not. and milk has sugar and carbs in it. i can (and am) eating lowfat cheese, and cottage cheese and nuts and stuff. all of those things have sugar and carbs in them.

moving on. it's day 11 and i will tell you that this week has been the roughest. I WANT SOME FUCKING BREAD AND BUTTER. I WANT SOME FRENCH FRIES. I WANT SOME CAKE! i do. and it's not even my body that wants them i don't think. it's my head. my mind. i think i want them cause i can't have them. and i want them bad. like it's all i think about when i drive to and from work. i'm not eating them.... but i want too. it's not like i'm fighting off this urge that my body is super feening for and MUST.HAVE, you know? it's my fucking brain. my mind wants them. it seriously consumes my thoughts.

boyfriend made the mistake last night of telling me to just "stop thinking about them." i think i bit his head off and ate it for dessert.

the thing that sucks too with this whole lifestyle change and eating better for the rest of your freaking life thing- is that i'm mentally aware that i'm trying to eat better with every single that i eat. so every meal.. every snack.. every ANYTHING.. is work. and that kind of takes the easiness and the fun out of it. and it also makes me mental. because i'm fully aware that i am not eating how or what i would be eating if i could just eat however i wanted. does that make any sense?! so this is the part that sucks. this is the part i'm going to struggle with. because eating the same types of foods over and over and over again for every meal is going to get crazy boring and i'm going to want to splurge. and i'm just going to want to live how i want. and then i'm going to hate how i look.

it's like this constant battle and really, is it worth it?! UGH! i have to get past this whole mental battle part. the battle with food. the battle with my defiant mental nature and wanting something cause i'm not supposed to have it. see how rebelious i am even when it comes to myself?! good lord.