Wednesday, April 22, 2009

earth day is great and all

but i really think we need a people day.

a be nice to one another day. a love your neighbor day. something that brings back the sense of community.

i don't know. i get so freaking disheartened sometimes when i think about how fucking self involved we all are. how everything we seem to do as a society is for the individual. trying to get ahead. make more money. have more toys. see more sights. do more stuff. express ourselves for the sake of expressing ourselves. it's all about me, me, me.

it just seems like there used to be a simpler time. a time when neighbors and communities cared about eachother more. when people not only knew eachother, but helped eachother. now it seems like most of us don't even know our neighbors. myself included. i'm rarely home. i know some of our neighbors, but not all. and the ones i do know i barely see, let alone speak too. it just makes me sad, you know?

i feel like we have totally grown as a race to be completely self involved. and i don't see that changing anytime soon. i think we grow more and more towards that concept all the time. we don't think outside of ourselves. everything is about ourselves. it's like a bigger picture never comes into play. it's all about the small picture- the immediate- the now. our perceptions are so screwed up. our values are all askew. i think we've all fallen into this fucked up trap about how we think we have to live... things we think we have to do to get by on a day to day basis. it's like we have this really messed up mindset that has been told to us so many times, we've started to believe it must be true.

and then we have the kids-
so many of us are raising a generation of kids who can't take being told no. who are being taught that they will always win no matter what. that they will never have their feelings hurt. they will always make the team. and that they are entitled to it all. we are raising our future generations to be entitled, spoiled little brats who won't be able to handle rejection.

we need to refocus. as a fucking world. some things are right. some things are wrong. and there are punishments for doing wrong. and sometimes you will lose. sometimes your feelings will get hurt. and sometimes you won't make the team because you know what? you're NOT fucking good enough. and there is nothing wrong with that. it's a part of life. how come we've decided that the best thing to do for our kids, is to completely shelter them from experiencing anything that may help them grow as people?

i realize i'm talking about 2 really different issues that i probably should have addressed seperately, but i dunno- maybe somehow they're connected. maybe they correlate? maybe people are raising their kids that way because they feel so fucking bad for the way they're choosing to live their life? maybe they're not home enough, so they want their kids to be happy all the time? i don't know.. what do you think?


Meg said...

I totally agree with you, but I'm so guilty of focusing on myself. I get so self-absorbed that I have to remind myself to think of others.

And the kids issue? Wow. I agree. On one hand, I purposely didn't buy my daughter anything at the zoo today, just so she would understand that she doesn't get everything she wants. On the other hand, I was freaking out last night when she went off with a group of kids at the swim meet to play alone. I was worried about what words she would hear, if they would hurt her, what was going on (they were all older kids), but I knew I needed to let her live and learn on her own. It's so hard sometimes.

And....I'm done writing a book in your comments.

point45 said...

you and your damn hippy talk.......

Peggy said...

Hi Jen -

I think we are all guilty of all of the things you addressed today at some point or another.

Maybe the reason people live the way they do is b/c they don't know how or where to start "change" least for me that's true.

You're right about the's something I definitely need to work on myself...thanks for the reminder.

Jerseygirl89 said...

I agree with you completely. It's so hard to find the balance. . .some days I feel so wrapped up in my own problems that I wind up feeling even worse, other days I'm so wrapped up in trying to save the world that I forget the happy things in my life.

Er, maybe I have some issues.

Anyway, I think the not saying no to kids thing is guilt. But it just starts the whole cycle again.

meno said...

Earth Day is getting to be a huge marketing opportunity. Next thing you know, Hallmark will be urging us to send each other Earth Day cards. Made of recycled paper, of course.

Saying "NO" to my child is a favorite pastime of mine.

Mamapumpkin said...

You are so right. Let's have a Happy People's Day!

Ericka said...

"express ourselves for the sake of expressing ourselves. it's all about me, me, me..." she says on her blog. oh, the irony.

but you're right.

i ranted regularly about something that i think may correlate and that's how insulated we've gotten as a society. it's not just from people, it's from the world around us. meat doesn't just grow in neat white stryofoam containers. the easter bunny doesn't deliver clean eggs to the store. we've packaged everything to ridiculous lengths and then freak out when nothing seems real. i dunno, i don't think i'm expressing myself very well, but it's something i obsess over regularly.

Anonymous said...

I am a teacher, and I agree with what you are saying. As a teacher, I cannot even tell you how many times I have to think of what the parents will say when I DON'T give their children straight As. I tell them that they earn their grades, they don't GET their grades. I also have a democratic classroom where we takes votes on various issues, and when the kids don't get what they want, they whine. I tell them that that's life, and we don't always get what we want. I also hear them say, "But that's not fair!" Once I asked what fairness was, to them, and they told me that it's everybody getting the same thing, i.e. equality. Hell, I guess mostly everything isn't fair in their eyes then, because NOBODY gets the same things all of the time.

I also think businesses are as much to blame as anything. Wasn't it Burger King that coined the term, "Have it your way" way back in the late 80s?

I can also say that as a teacher, we (or maybe just I) do try to give them an awareness not just about themselves, but for others, too. I have said, "It's not all about YOU!" before, and yes, I have felt guilty. But, it's true.

Spidey said...

Okay, I know this is an old blog, but I totally agree with you. I also lol-ed at point's comment. I love that you two are a couple.