there once was a mouse named christmas

the other day while the boy and i were chilling downstairs, i saw something scurry out of the corner of my eye.

WHAT WAS THAT??!?!?! i wondered to myself before i saw IT scurry again.

it was a mouse!

a mouse!

in my house!!!

which most of you are probably freaking out, and shuddering, or being like EWWWWWW! right? because i think that's probably a normal reaction to a rodent being in the house.

but um, not if you're me.

cause if you're me... then you're like, "oh my god, he's sooooooooo cute! and little! and FAST! and can i catch him and keep him as a pet? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

because clearly, i am not a normal.

and probably also because when i saw that little mouse, i give him a name like CHRISTMAS, and i dressed him in clothes and hats in my head.

you know, like this (blame bass/rankin)

aren't they cute?!?!?!!

told you. :)

okay, so i want to catch christmas and keep him as a pet and watch him fix my broken clock that sings christmas carols to santa, but boyfriend is all like, "YOU ARE DISGUSTING! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S A FILTHY RODENT THAT CARRIES GERMS AND DISEASES AND YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM AS A PET!!!!!"

clearly, boyfriend sees christmas like this

anyway, after his response i made my bestest sad face and eyes.

he was unfazed.

he's heartless.

so tonight... just now in fact.. i was looking under the kitchen sink and THERE WAS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

dead.

in a mouse trap.

and that my friends, is the short story of a mouse named christmas.



i'm going to go cry now.

what new tv shows are you loving?

it's been enough time for us to decide what new tv shows we love! and what ones we think suck! ha!

what are you watching this season that you're loving?

for me, on monday nights, i've completely fallen for hart of dixie! i loved this show from the get go! i've missed rachel bilson and i <3 my girl, jaime king... i think the show is really cute, sweet, with likeable characters. i sort of want to live there. we NEED a show like this- a show that reminds us about community, family, eating good food and tradition. it makes me smile. :)

i also am really liking the secret circle (right after my MOST FAVORITE SHOW IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD RIGHT NOW, the vampire diaries on thursday nights) because it's about witches and spells and magic! and did you know i'm writing a witch series? i started thinking that i didn't want to watch this show because the first episode was EERILY similiar to how my book starts, but after watching it more, we're not on the same path. lol so i like it! it's fun, although the opening music terrifies the hell out of me!

revenge on wednesday's is the bomb. even though i find it COMPLETELY predictable at times, i still find it RIDICULOUSLY enjoyable. i think it's unlike any other show i've seen before. i like the premise and i love the outlandish characters. it's entertaining and i'm hooked!

last but not least, i'm in love with once upon a time on sunday nights. i don't know what exactly it is about this show, but i freaking A-D-O-R-E it! i think it is SO creative, clever and puts a twist on every single fairy tale we've ever known or heard of. it's brilliant. i love it. i have no idea how or where it's going to go, but i'm excited to follow!

so yeah! those are my shows!!! what are you watching and loving? i wanna know! :)

holiday's are for grieving

it's that time of year again.

the start of the holiday season. where everyone i know can't stop thinking about the people they've lost. where the days become that much harder to get through. where our thoughts are consumed by the ones we don't have anymore.

and i totally get it.

i do.

it's fucking hard this time of year. it's hard because the entire focus of the holiday's is on family and love and being surrounded by those people you care the most about.

well what if the people you care the most about are no longer living?

then how are you supposed to find your happiness? how are you supposed to be thankful? how are the holiday's supposed to bring you joy, instead of sadness? sometimes it's really hard to see around our grief.... to see through the pain of loss.

for everyone who is struggling this time of year:

i send you peace.

and love.

and the hope that you will find it a little easier to spend your time seeing the people and things you do have in your life. the ones who love us, believe in us, support us, encourage us, lift us up, shape us, etc. instead of the ones you don't.

if we spend the whole day thinking only about what we've lost, then we lose sight on what's right in front of us. we stop seeing the people in front of our eyes when we focus solely on the ones we've lost sight of.

they wouldn't want that.

hell, they don't want that. cause you know they're watching. and when we're nothing but sad, it makes them sad. you know?

anyway, happy thanksgiving everyone.

i hope you have a day that's filled with love. and when you find yourself grieving for those who are gone and you get lost in old memories... don't forget about the ones who are still right there with you, waiting to make new ones.

(i know, i know... so much easier said than done)

12 days of christmas!

just a quick post to let you know that i'll be participating in the 12 days of christmas .99 cent e-book special!

there will be HUNDREDS of kindle books for sale!

HUNDREDS!

all for .99 cents! :)

i'll post more information as soon as i get it, but i'm excited to be included in this!

the end. :)

ps- i've written a complete version of my upcoming book, Chance Encounters! it's currently with my editor, so we'll see if I can get it out before the holiday's? :)

breaking dawn pt 1

yeah, yeah... you all KNOW i saw this movie. and you also know i can't resist writing about it. lol

um... i sort of feel about this one the way i felt about the first harry potter movie. i mean, the first half of the last hp movie.

i was sort of bored with this movie. don't get me wrong, the wedding scene was stunning! gorgeous! beautiful! and in all honesty, i LOVED how the characters laughed, smiled and genuinely had more fun in this movie than they have in all 3 other movies combined.

i think we've gone full past movies without a single smile from edward or bella. who wants to see frowny faces all the time? not me.

so yeah-i love that they are finally happy (for the most part). and i really love how all of them are together in this movie- the whole cullen clan plus the wolfies. it's nice to have everyone around all the time. it was romantic and sweet.

but yeah.

the wedding scene was a little long.

and the honeymoon scene was way too long.

i think they could have put the whole book into one movie. they definitely could have condensed this entire movie down into the necessary parts required to lead into the finale.

but they didn't.

of course.

cause if you were making the kind of money these movies were, would you? no, i didn't think so. i'd probably be like, LET'S MAKE EACH CHAPTER ITS OWN MOVIE! ha

thankfully, the actors have come a long way. their acting flows better and they're all clearly comfortable with one another. it shows. i did miss the humor that emmitt normally has. but the edward and jacob scenes were nice. and little wolfie seth was awesome. they did the bella starving scenes grotesquely well. her body was horrifying. *shudder*

so yeah. now i can't wait for the 2nd movie because it's going to be all the action and all the good stuff (just like the 2nd harry potter).

and the fact that we all have to wait an entire year for it, when it's already done- it just annoying. lol

i want all his days to be happy

i know it's not realistic.

and it's probably stupid to even think that i want this (because then how will he ever learn anything in life? grow? become determined? learn that life isn't fair and you have to work really hard for the things that you want? get focus? find strength? etc)... but the mom part of me really wants to protect my son from anything that could ever hurt or disappoint him in life.

i know it's dumb.

but really, am i the ONLY parent who's ever wanted to wrap their kid up in emotional bubble wrap that's coated with golden retriever puppies who never poo or pee in the house and always stay little? fine. i might be the only mom who's wanted to do that, exactly. but i'm sure i'm not the only parent who wishes she could spare her kid some pain.

i wonder if part of my want is based on the fact that it really.fucking.hurts when shitty things happen to your kid.

when they get let down, stepped on, treated unfairly or poorly, or when they have to sit by and watch part of a dream walk away- i feel like it hurts me a thousand times worse when it's something that's happening to him, as opposed to when it's something that's happening to me.

does that even make sense?

i guess the bottom line is, i hate to see my son not get the things he works hard to get. it hurts like hell. and i know it's a part of life, but it's a part that never seems to get any easier. matter of fact, it feels like it's only getting harder.

the let down's seem bigger.

the pain feels stronger.

this part was definitely left out of the mommy handbook. people never tell you the good stuff.

you're welcome.




ps- how are all of you parents with MORE than 1 kid, not complete and utter emotional wrecks all the time? you deserve medals. or cupcakes.

gray hair? REALLY???

shut.
the.
front.
door.

y'all?

is this thing on? *tap tap*

cause um... not only did i find a gray hair last night in my beautiful luscious golden locks... that mother fucker had friends.

LOTS.
OF.
FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

i am WAY too young, and FAR TOO immature to have gray hair.

so imagine how much i freaked out last night when i saw the first unruly little fucker sprouting out of my head. it literally became GRAY HAIR WATCH TWENTY ELEVEN up in my bathroom.

i think i seriously spent about an hour searching for all those stupid things and then yanking them out.

they were easy to find though. wanna know why?

CAUSE THEY ARE UNRULY!!!!!

they are all weird, and curly and don't lay right! not to mention the fact that they reflect the light ALL WRONG! they don't glow with golden prettiness- they are dull and brassy.

why can't they grow out in colors like dark blue, purple or pink or something? i would love that! random little bright hairs scattered throughout! FUN!

but nooooooo. they're gray.

GRAY!

i have gray hairs! that grow! out of my head!

why is this happening to me?!?!? can i make it stop? can i will it away? act more immature? start wearing diapers? WHAT CAN I DO???

i am too cute for gray. i am too happy for gray. i am too fun for gray. i refuse!! help me.

starbucks & creating jobs

i was on the call this morning with starbucks CEO howard shultz. it was quick (too quick), but still pretty awesome.

i love what they are trying to do- help small business get the funding they need to succeed. i think it's great to see that we as a society are trying to move back into the place where we actually LOVE and SUPPORT our small businesses again. i think it's important to give people a chance to realize their dreams of owning and operating their own business. being their own boss. but we, as consumers have to support that. if we don't shop there, they can't stay open.

i asked about not having a storefront, and if someone was an individual looking for funding, could they get it? howard said yes, they could.
that's pretty cool and exciting i think!

but then i realized that the reality is-
i don't want a loan.
i don't need a loan.
what i need is help getting my books out to the public. places to sell. places to put them in the public eye. because i'm a self published author who doesn't have a big publishing company behind me, marketing for me, putting my books in book stores (that are quickly closing their doors), booking me on tv shows, sending my books to hundreds of book bloggers, pr reps, etc.
i need all the help i can get.

and this is where i think starbucks has lost it on some level. they say constantly that they strive to be a local store, in the local community where they are located.

so on that note- why don't they feature artwork and photographs on the walls from local artists and photographers? why don't they have a small section of the store where they could sell books and cd's from local authors and musicians?

i realize that it's probably a hell of a lot easier to say than to actually do- i mean, how do you choose WHAT merchandise you sell? do you sell everything that people want too? there would have to be rules and parameters. i know.

but you see, that's how you could help me. by selling the books i write in local stores where i live- you're featuring a local author. you're helping my book be seen by people who might not otherwise see it.

that's how you help get me back to work.
that's how you help support and sustain my economy.

think about it.