Wednesday, June 29, 2011

why my high school reunion felt like a wedding

everyone keeps asking me how my 20 year high school reunion was. and the best way that i can explain it is..... that it was like a wedding!!!!

a million people are there.
you don't get to see or even talk to all of them.
the people you do see, you feel like all you got to say to them was "hi" cause you wanted to make the rounds and see everyone!
you end up seeing pictures from the night and you find yourself saying, "THEY WERE THERE?!?! I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THEM!!!!"
it's exhausting.
and it goes by TOO fast.

see? total wedding day!!!!!

but it was a freaking blast! in all honesty, i wasn't even super excited at all to go to this thing. i mean, most of us haven't seen each other, or really talked to each other in the last 20 years and so while i wanted to go, i didn't REALLY think i cared if i went or not. with facebook, it sort of feels like that is enough, you know? you see what everyone looks like, you know what they're up to- WHY do you need to see them in real life?

BUT... seeing everyone in person, instead of just online, is SO.MUCH.BETTER!!!!

it was so much freaking fun, i didn't want it to end. from my perspective, it seemed like everyone was just so genuinely happy to see everyone else. no one asked what they did for work, or tried to brag about money, or anything superficial. it was just... total happiness at being with one another, hugging each other, and reconnecting.

seriously, it was the best freaking time ever!!!! and thankfully, someone planned a picnic the next day for everyone to bring their spouses and kids, etc. and that was awesome because i totally wanted to still see everyone and hang out with them! i wasn't ready to say goodbye and head back up north. i'm still not. it's hard being away. i wish i was closer to my home. i wish i was closer to everyone.

so for all of you whose reunions are coming up and you think that you don't really care about the people you went to high school with... or you don't miss them... trust me when i tell you that you probably do. at least i did. i'm so happy i went. i think my class was totally awesome, super hot, crazy fun, and maybe that's why it ruled so much. cause everyone was so freaking great!

i loved my reunion! i had the best time ever. a zillion billion times more fun than i could have ever anticipated! :) and yes, i did wear jeans to my reunion. suck it.

i have known this kid since elementary school! there's something more special about the people you went to elementary school, jr high AND high school with...

i love that my elementary school boyfriend is still comfortable enough to grab my ass for pictures. lol

mirror photo time!!!!!!! loved seeing all of these girls! cannot wait to see them again!

my new girl crush! i am totally in love with her!

fun and hot women!


this picture makes me SO happy, i had to include it. i've known these 2 since like kindergarten. love them both SO much. (the fact that they are hot, fun and funny doesn't hurt) :)

old softball buds! (minus one, lol)


my girl crush again!
IMG_6828 copy

so what did we learn today? reunions are awesome! :)

Friday, June 24, 2011

thursday night, also known as THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!

so i'm with my friends sandi and mike right now. and after dinner, we decided that we wanted something sweet.

"like dessert, jenn?"

yes reader.. like dessert.

i wanted fro yo (per usual), but mike yelled out, "DONUTS!!!!!" sandi and i both looked at eachother and then were like, "OH HELL YES!!!!" and we all practically ran to the car.

all three of us wanted the same kind of donut. white cake with white frosting and rainbow sprinkles. yes, we're donut snobs. or we just know what we like. anyway, we get to the donut store and the guy doesn't have any.

i whine a little and ask him if he'll make us some. he does, cause he's awesome like that!

then i ask him if I CAN make us some?!?! and he says YES! because he is REALLY awesome like that!!!!! imagine my excitement when he opens the donut shop door for me to COME INSIDE and make my own donut!!!!!!! well you don't have to imagine, cause HERE is the proof!!!!

so i am really giddy, and jumping around a lot and trying to pose for pictures AND make delicious donuts at the same time. which is clearly much harder than it looks.

since i am IN LOVE with donut white glaze frosting stuff, i tried to double dip one of the donuts. you know, cover it entirely in frosting. but that stuff is thick. so um, i used the spoon.
this is how you fail at making donuts

and since the donut was freshly made... can you guess what happened?!

it crumbled into a billion pieces in the frosting! and i couldn't save it. this is what a donut fail looks like.

donut disaster 2011!!!!

but never fear! i'm no quitter! so i tried again!


look at all those sprinkles!!!! now that's how a sprinkled donut should look!!!

i told the guy that my donuts looked better than his and that if i was a customer, i'd want the donuts FULL of sprinkles, not just barely there.

so he redid all of his donuts to match mine! i'm SO influential in the world of donuts. look how happy i am that he is making the sprinkle-ful!

like a kid in a candy store!

thank you marteen! you were so freaking awesome for letting me come in and make my own donuts!

i think the only thing that could ever top this would be if taco bell let me make my own nacho bellgrande! you listening, bell!?!? :)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

character assassination of a 12 year old

bare with me folks, cause i'm in a state of ridiculous pissed off-ness. and i'm sure this post will make it all the way around this tiny little town i'm currently living in- and to that i say.. GOOD.

i think.

sometimes it sucks being honest and owning up to your words when they are raw, real and authentic. and you have to potentially see the people you are talking about around town. and look them in the eye. and know that they read what you wrote. it's much easier to talk about people you don't know. or people you'll never see in real life. :)

in a nutshell- blake's last year of little league sucked. his coach was less than inspiring and left a lot to be desired. in a role where you should be building confidence and encouraging the small people to be more! awesome! bigger! people! he did the exact opposite with his belittling, yelling and public humiliation during and after games.

if you know anything about the sport of baseball, you know how mental of a game it is. and as a player, you are so fucking caught up in your own head that the last thing you need is your coach pointing out all your flaws and failures. especially at this age when you're still learning what you're capable of handling, what affects you, etc.

cut to our last game of the season when the coach tried to make an example of blake (in return for something blake had said). he yelled at blake in the team meeting, told him that he had no respect for adult coaches and then threatened him with, "you'll pay for that dearly during all- stars."

um... who the hell threatens a 12-year old kid?!?!? and oooooh, you'll pay for that in all stars. really? what the hell kind of threat is that?! little league isn't even real baseball for fucks sake!!!!!!! (and people, do not start emailing me or posting in the comments section about how you disagree and little league is real baseball. i refuse to have this pretend argument. talk to me when the players can lead off and steal like normal people, and when you move the bases and pitching mound back an acceptable amount of feet. see? i'm right. told you. lol)

by the end of the season, blake was beaten down and had simply had enough. continuing to play with this coach was no longer an option. so blake was put in the uncomfortable position of telling his all-star coaches that he did not want to play because of this other coach's involvement.

I APPLAUD blake for standing up for himself.

i told you i was pissed off.

sometimes i'm unreasonable when i'm angry.

i am a girl.

so, he told the coaches (both of them) that he didn't want to play. one of them convinced him to come to 1 practice, and then decide. blake agreed. after that practice, and then sleeping on it for the night, he decided that he didn't want to continue the unhealthy coaching relationship he had been in for the past 5 months, and he respectfully declined playing.

shortly after his decision, one of the coaches called my home demanding to hear it from blake personally. so blake got on the phone and told the guy he didn't want to play. and he didn't want to play "because of coach so and so" and that he "didn't want to be on the same field as him" any longer.

end of story.

i mean, that is where the story should have ended, right?

because he got chosen for all-stars. he said no. we all move the fuck on, right? clearly, we do not move.the.fuck.on.

so now... from what i'm hearing... things are being said about my son. people are saying that blake isn't playing because he wasn't having fun on the field. or because he has conflicts with his travel baseball team. or because he's a baby. and they're saying blake quit all-stars, when the truth was that he never wanted to play in the first place. they are saying all sorts of things about him and why he's not playing, but nothing they are saying is the truth.

i am angry that adults are spreading, fueling and encouraging misinformation about my son- all for the sake of not admitting, or owning up to the real reason why he doesn't want to play. other coaches (who damn well know better) are blatantly lying when asked by other adults as to why blake isn't playing.

when the real reason is perfectly logical. perfectly acceptable. and should be respected. hell, it should be freaking honored with a medal. or a brownie at the very least.

listen, i understand that it isn't everyone's business as to why blake chose to leave. (although now it is, since i've taken it to the world wide internets!!!) but if people were simply trying to be "pc" or handle the situation a certain way, they should have said that they weren't sure why blake wasn't playing, instead of making up a pretend answer and having that answer reflect upon him.

which puts him in a weird position when his friends say things like, "i heard you weren't playing all-stars because of travel baseball." to which blake is like, "huh? that's not true. who told you that?" and then he's confused and doesn't understand why people are not only talking about this and making it a huge deal, but why they would say something about him that wasn't true in the first place.



the real issue here is that coach.

not my son.

and the sickest part of all of this- is that those people who know the truth, yet are choosing to lie when asked... they are supporting the coach who sucks at coaching, instead of supporting the kid who has an extremely valid point. they are throwing a 12-year old under the bus.

for what?

for who?

a coach who triggers more harsh feelings from parents and players than any coach i've ever known?

why aren't we defending the kid who was put in the position of making an adult decision? why aren't we standing by him, telling him we believe in him, learning from this and teaching others from it?

blake did the right thing.

and it's even clearer to me now how rare that quality truly is in people anymore.

Monday, June 20, 2011

today he turned 13

and so today... i am officially the mother of a teenager. a TEENAGER people.

in all of his 13 years so far, he has been such a rad kid.

he has a huge, kind heart.
he is a great baseball player.
he's a really good person.

i am proud of him every single day. i love being around him because he's fun, funny and we laugh all the time. we sing terrible songs together. i don't embarass him (yet).

my little man rules.

but is it all about to change? cause i mean, TEENAGER, people. is it all downhill from here? will i start hearing things like "i hate you?" and things like that?!

i don't know, but until i find it out- i'll take the fact that he still claims me in public. and is willing to take pictures with me. :)

me and my teenager!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

summer is hectic!

man, i feel like i have no time to do anything... how the hell did i ever work full time?!

HAHAHAH! that seriously, was just a joke.

it's weird though how time is organized once you're not "forced" to organize it in the same way. i mean, when i was working... i only had a very limited amount of time to get things done, so i crammed them all into those small pockets of availability. now that i have my days "free"... the same projects, or errands, or things that need to get done- end up taking the entire day to do.

you know?

maybe you don't.

so what have we been up to? well i've been baking lots and lots of cupcakes (and forgetting to take pics of their yumminess)

and we went to a bbq the other day and i took a bunch of candid pics, that i love.






and i feel like i've been running around like crazy. cause you know, i'm about to have a TEENAGER in about 5 or so days! eeek

Friday, June 10, 2011

Book Trailer!

it seems like friday is my day for BOOK TALK! woot woot!!!!!

so without further adieu... i give you my very first book trailer, for my upcoming novel titled, IN DREAMS!!!

and also, at the suggestion of a super rad reader... the new and improved book cover (minus the crazy red line on the side, of course lol).


In Dreams

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

when self defense isn't okay

during the school year this year there were issues between blake and one particular boy. these issues would crop up over and over again.

blake is in 7th grade. or he was. i guess he's officially an 8th grader now? scary.

anyway, this boy felt that it was okay to slap blake in the face on numerous occassions. now i wasn't there, so i have no idea how hard the slap was, or what it was like- all i know is what blake told me. and i assume that the kid probably did like a light smack to his cheek or something. but he did it more than once. he did it far more than a handful of times. and the vice principal of the school was aware this was happening.

well blake didn't like it. i'm sure you're shocked. no really, come slap me in the face... i enjoy you violating my personal space and touching me uninvited.

so near the last day of school, the boy slapped blake again (for seriously probably the 20th fucking time). blake turned and shoved the living shit out of the kid.

i'm not sure how this got to the principals office, but all i know is what came home to me from my son.

blake came home and told me that the assistant principal of his junior high school told him that:


i'm just going to sit here for a minute and let you read that line again.

and again.

and then one more time.

self defense is not okay at school.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!!?

hold on, because now i'm all pissed off and riled up again.


okay, look. i understand that a school environment probably isn't allowed to support any type of "violence." i get it. i also get that they have zero tolerance on things. i truly do get that there needs to be rules and safety, etc. i understand that school needs to be a safe enviornment for our kids- I WANT A SAFE ENVIRONMENT FOR MY KID.

but you're telling me that if someone is sitting there getting the living shit beat out of them... they have to just take it?

they can't defend themselves and punch back.. or kick... or shove.. or do something to stop it?

they just have to sit there and get hit over and over again until that person decides they're done hitting them?

what the fuck, man?! you cannot teach our children that they cannot defend themselves!!!!! moreso, you can't tell them that it "ISN'T OKAY" to defend themselves. and i'm sorry, but i don't consider allowing someone to get hit (and not fight back) a safe environment.

our society has gotten so screwed up somewhere along the way. because how else has DEFENDING your self, become not okay?

if blake defends himself, he'll get suspended. why is my kid getting in trouble for not allowing someone to violate him? when did it become wrong to hit someone back who hit you first? we can't tell everyone to "turn the other cheek" all the time. we can't raise an entire generation of our boys to be giant PUSSIES. cause that's what we're doing.

we're constantly telling them to "walk away..."
"don't fight back.."
"turn the other cheek..."
"find an adult or someone who can help at all costs..."

i just really, really, really, think that mentality is wrong. a

nd if that kid slaps blake again next year, i hope he punches him in the fucking jaw. because maybe then, that kid will stop putting his hands on my son's face.

and when blake gets suspended for DEFENDING himself at school. i'll take his ass out for ice cream or something. because he won't be in trouble at home.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

In Dreams

my first book is almost half way edited! just waiting on my editor (whom i love and adore.. and harrass on a daily basis) for more pages. as soon as she's done- i'll be done!

and then i'll have a release date!

i'm working on the cover... it will look something like this... would love and appreciate your thoughts! if you were browsing for books and you saw this cover, would it make you stop and want to read what the book was about???


i am also working on adding playlists to my website for each book. so now there won't just be a list of song titles and artists, but a soundtrack you can click and listen too. it's hard because a lot of my songs aren't on the site i'm working with. any recommendations for good music playlist sites? free? :)

last, but not least, i'm almost finished with my book trailer! i'm stuck though because i want like a live, moveable background. you know, like what amanda hocking has on hers- (go here ) so if you know where i can find backgrounds like that? or maybe it's on the computer program she used to make hers? i'm clueless. and using windows live movie maker for mine.

that's your update! hope to have the book trailer up by monday at the latest! and a release date SOON!!!!

do you "like" my author page on facebook?
i'd appreciate it if you did!

also, follow my pathetic author girl on twitter..
she has no followers. it's sort of sad.


thank you everyone for your support and love. :)