Friday, December 31, 2010

why i love new years!

in list form...

because it feels like magic is in the air!
something about the start of a new year feels refreshing... like you can do anything!
the possibilities are endless!
it's exciting to think of what may come!
i love odd numbers so i am so happy it is almost 2011!!!!!!!
new years feels like a fresh start.... a new chapter... an exciting beginning!
it feels positive, and happy!

i used to travel and go to a diff city or state each new years eve to party.. i miss doing that. i love how nye feels like it is a magic present full of surprise and promise... all you have to do is unwrap it!

do you like new years?

i wish you all a magical and wonderful 2011 that is full of answers to dreams, promises and fulfillment. even when the road gets hard and it hurts, i hope the outcome leads you to a better tomorrow.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

end of the year updates of suckiness (and why bank of america still sucks ass)

it's weird how not working completely zaps my brain and makes me feel as if i have nothing of worth to write about on my blog. i know, i know, cause my blog was SO worthy when i actually had a job. shut it.

at least i felt productive and inspired and like i had a freaking life. i did things like actually LEAVE THE HOUSE everyday when i had a job. and no, it wasn't to take or pick the kid(s) up from school.

my book is in the middle/end of some interesting rewrites per the suggestions of my brilliant friends who have read the first version. all of their feedback has been incredible, and i've totally agreed with them when they've said they needed more in certain parts. hence.... writing more. but i'm ready to sum it all up, stop the rewrites, read through it one last time, and start hounding the agents again.

this getting an agent thing is hard. but we all knew that already, didn't we?

timing is everything and i truly believe that in the case of the type of book that mine is... that saying couldn't be more true.

we think we got declined for our home loan remodification. but you know, they told us to let them know if our financial situation changes. LET THEM KNOW IF IT CHANGES? so pretty much.. LET THEM KNOW IF IT GETS WORSE. thanks for the fucking help, assholes. i love how that the main income provider of the household loses their job, and we barely bring home enough money to cover everything.... but we should let them know if our situation changes.


i firmly believe these places do not want to help you. have i mentioned how many times they have "lost" our paperwork???? and how many times i had to send things over because our COMPLETE file, was suddenly "incomplete?" also, can i mention that i would only get fax #'s to reach people, and when i sent a fax asking them to please call me because i had questions, NO ONE would call. awesome. thanks for the help. thanks for caring. THANKS FOR TRYING TO HELP US MODIFY OUR HOME LOAN SO WE CAN CONTINUE PAYING OUR MORTGAGE TO YOU.

it makes me feel like they don't take you seriously until you stop paying. oh, you have money in your joint savings account? then you have money to pay your mortgage. oh, that money is for your $6000 property taxes that are due? and both of your cars are over 10 years old and on the verge of falling apart (but we don't have money saved for that)? over $1000 is for your homeowner's insurance? we don't care WHAT it's for, all we know is that you have money. so you can pay. you don't need our help. go fuck yourselves and good luck with the job search.

there is a small part of me that feels like me losing my job isn't their fault, or their responsibility. they aren't a fucking charity. i get it. but i just feel like with all that's gone on in the housing market these past couple of years, that they would WANT to help people stay in their homes. it makes me lose even more faith that humanity when it comes to giant corporations and business. they are greedy and don't care about people. they care about the money they make, the money they can continue to make, and worry about losing money.......... not the people involved in ANY aspect of those things.

it's disgusting and makes me sick. and also makes me thankful that i currently don't work for someone like that. because i'd rather be unemployed than work for a company who only cares about the bottom line.

maybe this is part of the reason why i'm still jobless. i need to work somewhere that does something better. that cares about people. that truly makes a difference and makes you feel good about what you do. and i certainly haven't found that yet. i guess we'll see.

now go read something that WILL make you feel good and warm your heart. jenny is rad. but the people who commented and read her blog are just as rad. cause this was an explosion of goodness and awesomeness by blogkind. :) holiday giving at its finest.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

holiday must makes?

the holiday's really are almost here... (and soon they'll be gone). which is sad. i love this time of year. i love making sugar cookie cutouts and frosting them. snickerdoodles... chocolate covered pretzel rods.. peanut butter and chocolate balls... omg, and fudge! i feel like i haven't eaten or made fudge in forever!!!! (granted, i haven't made all these yet, but um... talking about them is making me drool)
white pretzels

dark choco pretzies

i love to bake goodies that make everyone i love fat! lol
christmas cookies!

but i was wondering... what are your holiday must makes? what do you make this time of year that you normally don't make at any other??

or what does someone else make this time of year, that you look forward too? for me, i LOVE my mother in law's salt cookies! holy heck, they're delish!!!!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

be a santa to a senior!

this is the time of year for giving... we tend to go out of our way to do something nice for others right now.

i came across this website the other day, and i have been meaning to post about it. it's called BE A SANTA TO A SENIOR. i think that we tend to focus on the needy children and families (which is unbelievably kind and generous and super rad), but we totally forget about our senior citizens.

when i read this website, i cried. everything makes me cry lately. for some reason, i'm an emotional basket case (no, i'm not pregnant). anyway, there are apparently a lot of senior citizens who don't have any family or anyone around them. some of them go the entire year without getting a single gift. that makes me so sad. here is part of the main story on their website:

"In 2006, Be a Santa to a Senior volunteers visited a local nursing
facility and distributed gifts to a number of residents, including one
87-year-old woman whom we'll call Mary. She was pleased to receive her gift and
thanked us profusely, but it wasn't until we returned to give Mary another gift
in 2007 that we recognized the true value of Be a Santa to a Senior.
When we
entered Mary's room for our second visit, we noticed that the only card on her
bulletin board was the Be a Santa to a Senior card from the previous year. As we
spoke with her caregivers we found out that our Christmas card and gift were the
only items she had received throughout the year. Mary re-read the card regularly
to help keep that memory alive."

so, i went to the website and found out if there were any stores in my area participating in the program, and there were! i found the holiday tree and chose 2 seniors off of it. and i'm really hoping that what i got them makes them smile. it feels good to do something for other people. and for whatever reason, it feels good to do something for the people we all tend to forget about.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010


i am certain i've talked about this before. but it's been awhile. it's time to bring it up again...

do you ask the parents of your children's friends if they own guns? i mean, if your child is going to spend time at someone's house, do you ask?

because i haven't been asking. because i STUPIDLY assume that people don't freaking have guns in their homes. and i also STUPIDLY assume that if they do, they're locked up.

but that isn't always the case. and sometimes, you learn that there are guns in the homes of the people your child spends time with. and also, that those guns aren't locked up. and that the kids who live in the home, know where the guns are, and know how to get them.

i just have to say that i am so thankful to have such an honest, good hearted, smart, rational child. and i'm even more thankful that when a potential deadly situation presented itself in his presence, he had the frame of mind to walk away and tell an adult.

i know we always tell our kids to do just that in those kinds of situations, but i honestly think it's harder to do than we realize. you have to go against what your friends are doing, and "rat" them out. and while i can sit here and say i'd rather blake be a rat, than have a friend dead from a gunshot wound.... it's easy for me to say that because i'm an adult.

i will admit that i don't know the entire story of the guns in the home. maybe they are unloaded. maybe they have trigger locks. what i do know is that they are in a place where kids can get to them. and show them to their friends. and that makes me more than a little uncomfortable.


Sunday, December 05, 2010

spectacular civil war photos!

the library of congress just released over 700 pictures of civil war soldiers, women, etc. this collection is incredible. it's called the faces of the civil war!

check it out!

i plan on spending hours i'm sure looking at

[Two unidentified soldiers in Union uniforms] (LOC)

[Unidentified soldier in Union uniform] (LOC)

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

i need to talk about tennis shoes

i'm having a problem. since i've apparently turned into a runner when i workout... wait, let's be serious. i'm more of a speed walker slash jogger. i don't really "run" per se. anyway... my feet are freaking killing me in both pairs of sneakers i own.

one pair makes my feet feel like they're on fire, they get so freaking hot. and they squish my toes together and eventually start to really fucking hurt while i'm running.

the other pair is lighter and more breathable, but also hurts my toes.

maybe my feet are defective?

since i've never really had to shop for good running shoes, i have no idea what i'm supposed to be looking for. how should they feel on my feet? what should they do? and how do you know that they'll work in the long run just from trying them on for 10 seconds in a store??

i need running shoe help, advice, etc!

thanks loves. :)