Friday, November 12, 2010

the truth is

i just don't have much to say lately.

i am working on my book more. i am adding more depth to it.. more story.. more events.. more more more! it's making it better. they aren't super long additions, but they are additions i should have done in the first place. i know that when i didn't do them, it was because i didn't want to write them in that sort of detail. i was lazy and probably tired, you know? so i didn't. i summed entire things up in a few paragraphs. there are some parts of the book where that's okay, but there are other parts that NEED more. so i'm writing those. so as of right now, i feel like my book has gone back from being done... to not.

but i think it's all part of the writing process. i have a love/hate relationship with my book. but i still love my characters and the story they're living.

still crossing my fingers that someone will take a chance on me, request the whole manuscript (when it's REfinished that is) and sign me to their agency. i want an agent! it is weird being on this side of the fence. where i'm the one hoping and praying that someone will see something special in me, take a chance, and believe in me. i'm usually on the other side of the fence, where people are asking me for the chance (casting/acting), or asking me for advice on how to get an agent, what to do, etc. like i've said before, i have always made sure that i have been more than gracious to everyone in that position because it's how i would want to be treated. maybe karma can kick into gear now?

otherwise, trying to find a "real" job is a complete and total bitch. it is so absurd, it's laughable. i can't even talk about it without laughing. the fact that i'm "overqualified" for everything i apply for is beyond irritating. and by that, they just think i'd be bored. the whole point is, i wouldn't have applied to your job if i thought i'd be bored. why can't you let ME decide if i'll be bored or not? i love how people just make assumptions for you that impact your life.

i'm still positive, happy and i have faith that all of this is happening for some greater purpose and some grander reason. i'll be honest when i tell you that i'm not entirely sure what either of those things ARE, but i'm trusting that my life is currently unfolding in the manner it's supposed to. it's the only thing that keeps me sane.


Becky at lifeoutoffocus said...

i want to read what you added on!

A said...

Regarding a "real" job:
Maybe you've thought of this, maybe you haven't. (Maybe it's another dumb idea of mine?) I'll throw it out there anyway...what about a job at a bookstore? Maybe it would help with more contacts in the bookwriting dept? And everyone who comes to the cashier counter could potentially be a buyer of your future book. :)

Anyway...I wish you good luck in the job hunting and bookwriting!! :)