Monday, January 18, 2010

we did naughty things to our waiter


i'm back from arizona.

it was so nice there. the weather is so similiar to so cal. but super quiet. the air was crazy still. and really quiet.
like, no sounds.
at all.
no planes. no dogs barking. no stupid birds chirping. it was kind of weird really. but it was warm.
and it's cold as hell here.

and pouring down rain.

and.. well... moving on.

we went shopping our first day there. we got our makeup airbrushed and we looked freaking amazing so we headed out to dinner at this cute little trendy place called olive & ivy. we ordered a ridiculous amount of food that no one could possibly eat in one sitting. and so much food that there was no more room on our table for anything else. so after about the 5th or so waiter comes by setting down another platter of food onto our already crowded table and asks us if we need anything else.... i might have said something like, "yeah, we could use some sex."

this made our young waiter blush, laugh, and run away as quick as he could. but then, a new waiter (ryan) came to our table, super professional like and said, "ladies, i heard you ordered some sex for the table. unfortunately, we're all out at the moment, but we should get our replenishment stock in about an hour or so."

and he walked away.

and we laughed our asses off. and loved that someone was ballsy enough to play with us.

so after we stuffed ourselves silly and still had ridiculous amounts of food left over, we might have mentioned that we'd take our "sex to go" along with the rest of our food.

well this caused ryan to bring over his business card in a to-go container... and to say something to the effect of since he can't fit in a box, this is the best he can do. a la- sex to go!

thus, ryan got lucky all weekend long and he didn't even know it. we brought him everywhere. he was like our own personal freaking flat stanley.

first thing we did when we brought ryan home was put him in bed. *prrrs*

ryan might have gotten in our panties.

being a waiter is tough. ryan needed to take a hot tub. but not without some floaties for support.

ryan started misbehaving, so we put him in a time out. he needed to chill with his other to-go containers.

but once he was good again, he was very good. i might have put frosting on him and licked him from head to toe.

ryan wanted to go swimming, but he needed some protection first.

all lathered up, he hit the pool.

and worked on his tan.

and mingled with the locals.

ryan was one lucky guy.

we sure hope he appreciates it.


Katie said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! you crack me up! Please tell me your are sending Ryan copies of these pictures!!!

j.sterling said...

io totally just sent ryan an email with a link to this post! HE'LL BE SO SURPRISED AT THE FUN HE HAD! lol

Andie said...

this is hilarious! glad you had so much fun!!

Alison said...

Holy shit, you are hilarious! :) Please let us all know how Ryan responds when he reads your email and this post. :)

Jill said...

I think there is no end to your imagination, Jenn.....OMFG that is so funny!!

J from Ireland said...

That is just hilarious Jenn. Sounds like you had a great time, so happy for you.

Table4Five said...

That is freaking hilarious and brilliant!! Ryan sure was a lucky guy, getting to be so close to your fabulous rack like that :)

p.s. are you feeling better? I've been worried...

texas math said...

Ha .... if Ryan responds to this via email you'll have to let us know what he said.

He sure was a lucky guy that day!

Shannyn said...

This is so funny! I love it - so ridiculous and amazing.

Becky at lifeoutoffocus said...

omg i hope he replies. keep us posted!

Issa said...

OMFG I heart you. Seriously.

Am so glad you had fun...without stupid chirping birds. ;)

LOL. Word verification is ster. truly

Annie said...

ha! this is hilarious!!
that ryan is one lucky guy! ;)
glad you had a great time in AZ pretty girl!

Kristin said...

It's the sexy version of Flat Stanley!

Kristen said...

That is awesome. Ha.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

LMAO!! You are hilarious. Thanks for the smile!

Ryan Andersen said...