Thursday, October 22, 2009

the frosting gods are watching out for me

or something.

okay, so i've neglected to tell you all what i'm doing now! haha.. i'm doing phase 1 of south beach again (i did it back in january and have been able to maintain my weight this whole time- woot woot). i'm doing it because i still have these pesky and ultra annoying 10 pounds to lose. i'm sick of always feeling like i have 10 pounds to lose. so i'm going to lose these fuckers if it kills me. not really, cause i don't plan on dying. *knock on wood*

last time when i did the 2 week phase 1 thing.. i think i lost about 10 pounds. which i desperately needed cause um.. i was getting a bit too chunky for my monkey. talk about putting on the holiday pounds... i put on a small country. but it was hard. everyday was a fucking challenge. so yeah.. here i am again, doing this bullshit. i must really hate myself.

the thing that doesn't really make sense is why is it so hard? i mean, basically i'm cutting out breads, fruit and candy sugar for 2 weeks. it's not like i walk around the office with a loaf of bread in my mouth everyday, or even eat bready things all that often in the first place. ( although speaking of bread, i totally came to the realization this past weekend that it's not the bread i even want to eat.. IT'S THE BUTTER! the bread is just the excuse to eat ridiculous amounts of yummy, goodnessy, butter. omg, i love butter.) so i'm on day 4 and i've already lost 2 pounds. that's right bitches. but it is still freaking hard. not so much the bread or carby parts this time around... but i cannot STOP THINKING ABOUT CUPCAKES AND FROSTING!!!!!! it's no joke. cream cheese frosting is in my head all day long. i had a dream about it last night. i can't stop. it's all i think about.

and to further the torture.. listen to this!!!! i'm sitting in my office and my phone rings with someone from the commons (our food place at work). i answer and she goes "jenn... so and so made you a red velvet cupcake with extra extra extra cream cheese frosting on it! come down and get it!"

i hung up the phone and seriously debated on what to do. should i go down there and get it? i mean, i don't want to be rude. will i be able to get it and NOT eat it? oh lord, i shouldn't tempt myself like this.

i started walking down to the comm as if i was under a spell. my legs took me right to where i needed to go. the cupcake couldn't even be seen under the amount of frosting she had put on there for me. a piece of me died inside. there was a small blob of the frosting on the plate. i took my finger to it and dabbed a small amount into my mouth. all the while i'm yelling at myself "omg you cheater! stop it! you can do this for 2 weeks fatass, COME ON!!!"

it was soooo good.

but i knew i had to stop.

so i decided that i would walk back to my office and give it to someone, or put it in the kitchen. as i was walking, like a normal person does, the cupcake out of nowhere just tumbled off the plate it was on and onto the floor, frosting first. there was a huge ass blob of frosting all over the carpet, and this little cupcake butt sticking up. i started laughing so hard. you should have seen me trying to clean it up. it was a disaster. and so messy. and ruined. no one could eat it now.

thank the goddess!!!!!


Leslie @ A Blonde Ambition said...

Good job girl, stay strong! That South Beach thing really does work, but man oh man is it hard for this girl to avoid bread and sugar for 2 weeks!

SUEB0B said...

That is a great story. You captured PERFECTLY how these pesky things torment us!!

Katie said...

mmmmmmmmmmm frosting! so tempting!

SassyCassie said...

Ooooh, I love bread and yummy cupcake icing-good luck!

Heather@WHMB said...

Hahaha, hilarious. I need several of those goddesses following me around daily.

Summer said...

Ahhh, the dumb weight loss issue. We women have it soooo tough you know?

I can't even begin to tell you how over my husband is of hearing me complain!

carrie said...

OK, well that makes ALL the difference in the world! I didn't know you were doin' SB. So um, forget my tweet yesterday about dirty cupcakes.

Maybe you'll inspire me to do it again. ;)

Lara said...

A friend of mine brought me a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting once, and it was AMAZING. I've sort of craved one ever since.

Good for you for being strong, though, even if it did take a nudge from the frosting gods to stay strong for a while. :)

Mom101 said...

I am so the biggest South Beach fan ever. That shit works.

Stick with it mama - after the first week, you know it gets better. And you'll be so proud of yourself that you can brag about your new hot bod and we won't even care.

corrin said...

Good job! I stocked up on eggs and bacon and am starting Atkins again on Monday (it's not as heart stopping as it sounds - there's lots of lettuce and peas involved, too).

Mojavi said...

AS I read this I am eatting a big fat peice of chocolate ckae, lol... what are the odds :) mmmmmmm haha

agirlnamedmel said...

that's exactly how i feel about dieting. if I can't eat it, I'll be damned if I have to watch someone else do it.