Friday, April 03, 2009

on being a blog commenter

as i was driving to work this morning i started thinking about blogging.. and the people who do it.. and those who read the blogs, and comment on them, etc.

and i know how i personally feel about blogs and bloggers. i care about the blogs i read. i care about the people writing them. and i care about the people who comment on my blog. i really do try to visit everyone new who comments on my blog. i read a lot of people in my feedreader, and thanks to this post from the other day, i now have a lot more that i'm reading (which is awesome). i don't comment as often as i'd like, but i'm definitely reading and when i can, i try to email.

i'm curious- how do you feel as a commenter on someone's blog. do you continously comment on someone's blog who never responds back to you? do you like to feel cared about as a commenter, or do you not care if the person writing acknowledges you in any way?

i'm just asking because i'm wondering. i don't expect anything in return, although when i go out of my way to visit and read someone new, i like them to do the same via a quick email response, or a quick visit back to my blog. so i suppose i like to be acknoweldged and i think i wouldn't continously read someone's blog who NEVER visits mine in return (unless i've met them in person).

what about you?

ps- peggy reminded me why i started this post to begin with, and just how rambling and fucked up the whole thing got. my basic point was supposed to be about how important i feel that comments are to a blog. and that without them, you lose the very basic thing we all blog for- interaction... conversation.. opinions... friendship... you know? i think that the comments are SO important and i feel like it's equally as important to acknowledge them in some way. and i wondered if you felt the same. like you wanted to be made to feel important... like you matter.. like what you say and take the time out of your day to post on someone's blog, matters. i like to know that what i've said matters. you know?


Twenty Four At Heart said...

Well, I like to be treated like a RAWK star, how about you? But instead you call me a whore, sigh!

I don't expect to hear from people every time I comment, but if I comment regularly it's nice if the writer makes an attempt to either email, respond to any questions I've left or visit my blog in return once in awhile. I can't stand people who thing they are above their readers. I suppose my pet peeve is bloggers who think they're FAMOUS CELEBRITIES.

On the other hand, as my blog has grown I often have a damn hard time keeping up w/ the commenters as much as I used to. I do want people to know I care about what they say and appreciate their comments though. I try to get in touch w/ commenters one way or another as frequently as I can.

When I become a famous celebrity from my blog remind me of all this, ok? thanks whore!

Alison said...

I don't have my own blog. I just like to read a few that I find interesting and/or funny. I don't comment to get acknowledged but it is nice when the author responds back every now and then.

Peggy said...

I'm with Suzanne up there 100%...Once in a while an acknowledgement is nice.

It's weird that you wrote this because I just went thru my reader and cut that sucker in HALF.

I would never cut Jennster though...or Twenty Four at Heart cuz you girls are the really cool chicks.

How do you handle being ignored as a reader? If you are, at all? Just curious!

Have a great weekend!

A Cowboy's Wife said...

Well, you know I heart you and while I don't comment often, I do read you. I rarely comment on other blogs, not because I think I'm a rawk star or blogging celebrity but because I don't have time. I do consider myself a problogger and I think people don't realize how much work we put into our blogs....and still have to tend to family, cows, and horses.

I love comments and wish I had more but I'm not gonna cry if I don't get them.

I also know as a commenter, I never go back to see if I was replied time. BUT it is nice when a comment is reciprocated with a howdy or something.

Gah, my readers prolly feel like shit then. Wonderful. Thanks for making me feel like a crappy blog owner.



Man, I sure know how to ramble about nothing!

j.sterling said...

SUZ- you are a whore. so i call em like i see em. LOL xox

ali- what can i even say to you? u.r.a.hooch. everyone, this is my BF so suck it.

PEGGGGGY-i think that i would stop reading someone's blog potentially if i felt like i was NEVER EVER EVER acknowledged. but wouldn't necessarily stop if i had met and liked the blogger in person. is that fucked up? i kind of put different parameters on things once i've met and spent time with the blogger- it's like it changes things a bit and i take it less personally? or in a different way? hell i dunno. i really think i strayed from whatever the hell point i was trying to make with this post anyway. i think it started out as about making people feel like they are important when they hold such an important part of your blog- responding, commenting, interacting. without comments, there is no interaction, right? at least no PUBLIC interaction. i just think it's important and important to feel like you matter. i like feeling like what i say matters. so i figure everyone else does too. but sometimes i'm just crazy.. you know, like now.

lori- you suck and now all your readers hate you. LOL

i'm a fucking ball of sunshine today, eh?! :)

J from Ireland said...

I thinks its lovely when a blogger acknowledges a commenter and even nicer when they exchange a few emails! I don't usually expect to hear anything back, so when I do get something back, it makes me feel more connected to the blog/blogger.Although, a blogger I have followed this past 4 yrs has never responded to 2 emails I sent, now that pisses me off, I still read but never comment.
I love the real honesty of this blog, you say anything, you are not afraid to say it like it is and thats refreshing. Slainte Jen.

Stacey said...

Personally I like to be acknowledged every now and then. I read some blogs where the author will reply to my comment in the comment section or send me an email. And some of the bloggers I visit will visit me as well. However, I admit I read and comment on some blogs where the authors probably don't give a damn that I exist.

meno said...

I am much too popular and important to ever comment on someone else's blog!

Ha ha haha haha. *snort*

I make an effort to comment back on each comment on my blog. I will also go and visit someone who comments, almost always. Sometimes it takes until the second time they comment, but i do try. I will usually try out the blog for a while, and will stick around if i like it.

I will read the blog of someone who never reads or comments on mine, but only a few who are really fabulous.

Ali said...

i like to leave comments (mostly because i know how much i like to get them. heh) and i never expect anything in return. but, it's always nice to get some acknowledgment back - an email reply or a visit to my site etc. but it's totally NOT necessary, yanno?

Meg said...

I love the interaction of comments. I try to leave comments as often as possible (when I have something to say). I usually don't expect anything in return, unless I ask a question or am starting up a conversation. It is nice, however, if that person at least checks out your blog after that. I realize that not all people mesh and I'm cool with that. I've been making a huge effort lately to respond to comments on my blog, either by commenting back, emailing, or visiting their blogs. It's gone really well so far....

Lynn (Walking With Scissors) said...

I go through a feedreader and don't comment as often as I should on other people's blogs. I do respond to the comments that people leave on my blog, usually by commenting on theirs in return or via email.

With that said, though, I appreciate any and all new comments on my blog and I also really appreciate when bloggers respond to comments I've made on their own.

I've had a so-so experience with the so-called "popular" bloggers. Some have been really good to me, responding to my comments and generally making me feel included (so yay to those girls - LOVE 'em!). There are some who haven't even tried to aknowledge me, though, and I have to say that after awhile, it chafes. I've actually stopped commenting on some of those blogs, and stopped reading others altogether, just on principal.

I agree with you that the purpose of blogs should be coming together as a community, supporting one another and getting to know one another. If I feel that a blogger is too "self-important" to ever really aknowledge others, it's a turn off. In general, though, I've found that most of the bloggers I've come across are awesome people, which is why I love it so.

I'm all for finding more blogs to read, and for more people to read mine. I love getting to know other bloggers. Of course, I need to work a little harder at this whole commenting thing myself...

Jon said...

Things got too big too fast, which is really exciting and fun and I'm not complaining, but there's just no way I can get back to people. I think this often gets misunderstood as me being a dick and not caring or thinking I'm a RAWK STAR - and the the thought of people thinking that about me gives me hives. Because, for real, BHJ is just a character and I'm pretty much a shy quiet dude. Fuck. Why am I opening up like this, Jennster? You feel so safe. But really, I was just thinking about this today - how I can't wait for summer vacation when I can read and comment on blogs like I did last summer.

DadGoneMad said...

I don't comment nearly enough as I want to. But I REALLY want to. So here's my comment to you, Jenn:


steenky bee said...

I'll de-lurk here again to comment. I think it's unrealistic to expect a comment or an email back every time you comment on someone's blog. It's definitely nice, but shouldn't be expected everytime. I read you all the time, Jennster. You're a major hooker. I don't always comment though. I hope you feel me all up on your blog from time to time. (If you don't email me or comment on my blog I shall head on out to your house and campout on your front lawn until you do. Either that or send the missionaries out there. Which ever would be the biggest hassle, that's the one I'll do.) Mwah!

Jill said...

I don't have a blog anymore but I read yours because you tell it like it is and the way you feel. That interets me more than some of these. Yours is about the only one I read although I do lurk on Becky's on occasion. You are a Rawk Star whether you want to be or not so get over!!!

Petunia Face said...


Delurking to say I've read your blog for some time now but have yet to comment. Why? I don't know. I love it when people comment on my blog. I eat it up and then puke it out and then eat it with a sundae spoon. Gross, but true. So. Hi. I will comment more often. :)

Anissa Mayhew said...

Yeah, I like the comments, they make me feel like people are actually reading what I'm writing. I use the threaded comments so I can answer right in my comment area, I TRY to answer every comment personally. If people are going to take the time to read and comment, holy crap, the LEAST I can do is thank them and let them know I hear them too.

SO, whatevah, bitch, MOAR comments!


Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Irony, remember how I said you and I had met at BlogHer 06 by the pool, albeit, we were pretty drunk? You did not remember the interaction and I myself have a fuzzy memory of us hugging and toasting to being "comment whores" because we both love commenting. Ahem.

For the longest time, Blogger was a bitch about emails, but now that they give reply email addresses of commenters (if the user has selected the option in his/her profile), I am trying to get better about responding to comments.

Last year, I went through a huge project of culling blogs from my reader - I did delete a bunch of blogs that I had been reading for years, yet had never received an acknowledgment of my existence. There are still a few blogs I read where the writer does not seem to know I breathe, but usually, they have another redeeming quality - good writing, or interesting content.

But truthfully, this is why I do not read a lot of the popular bloggers. Honest opinions are not generally wanted on those blogs anyway, so I am hesitant to write anything that is not A+++ positive in their favor and I hate writing the usual "You rock! You are so funny!" comments which are boring to write AND read, no?

But seriously:
You rock! You are so funny!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a very touchy-feely person, but I feel closer to other bloggers when I comment on their blogs. Just sort of a *little wave* Hi! I read this, and I think (the same/differently) for X reason!

It makes me feel a little more connected to a very big world. And I like it.

The same goes for people who comment on my blog, I just feel a little more a part of this big bloggy community.

corrin said...

Comments are hugely important to me as a blogger, so I assume they are to other bloggers and try to comment whenever I have something to add.

I also try to respond to the majority of the comments that are left on my blog. I try to welcome someone new, keep a friendship going with a loyal reader, or just keep things interesting so the comments are just as important as the post.

Ericka said...

i have a tiny baby blog, and that's fine 'cause i mostly use it to rant about things when i get sick of talking to myself... so i guess i'm sort of writing to myself. now that i'm thinking about it, that's kind of weird, isn't it?

oddly, some people do read and comment, which makes me feel like one of the popular kids and i love it. those people have, over the years, become friends and i email and comment back and forth with them.

the blogs i read are a bit different. i read people who entertain or interest me. i only comment when i have something to say and i don't expect an email or anything in reply - unless it's in their comments. for one thing, i didn't have an email address in my profile until google made me, so even if they wanted to contact me, they wouldn't have known how... so no hard feelings if i don't hear from people.

I'm Still Me said...

I love the idea of getting comments ... but I really don't get many at all.

Chris O said...

I read a lot of blogs and I make comments when I can or when I feel I have something relivant to say or if I'm just feeling sassy and have a profound smart ass remark to make. I think I've done all that here over the months I've been stalking you.

I love getting comments myself, good, bad, random. It's nice to know that someone is affected by something I say, it's not like I'm getting affirmation from my family...oh wait, some of my family reads my blog, they usually comment anonymously but I know its them, those sneaky bastards. But I know not everyone comments, as I follow how many hits the blog takes and I'm not getting that many comments. But I'm not a comment whore and I'm not going to start giving crap away to generate comments. SELL OUTS!! I blog because I think every thing I have to say is incredibly interesting and I can't wait to read my next post. I like to reread my posts as I am my best audience.

NGS said...

I leave comments only when I have something to add. On a well-written post, the author has usually said everything that needs to be said or other commenters faster than I have done so!!

I guess I don't really care about comment reciprocation, although I absolutely love comments. The most obnoxious thing is bloggers who email everyone who comments on their blogs, but their emails say little more than "thanks" or "ha!". It's a waste of my time. If the email isn't a continuation of a conversation, why bother?

Apryl's Antics said...

I comment when I feel compelled to do so. I don't have a blog, although my lofty bloggy friend insists that I should.

I have literally stopped reading and commenting on blogs where the author whines in a post about losing readers and not getting noticed by other bloggers at blogging conferences. I don't want to hear it, especially if I comment on your site, follow you on twitter, and you don't bother to at least follow me back. Petty? Maybe, but there are too many funny/interesting/worthwhile bloggers out there I'd rather share my time with.

Karen Sugarpants said...

i comment here because i loves you. shouldn't that be enough? do i expect you to come over? no. read what you like dude.

laurie said...

I read many many more blogs than I comment on and many more than who visit me (probably has something to do with my limited commenting). But I don't comment unless I feel like I have something to add to the conversation or post. I don't like to comment with a "Yeah, right, agreed" or "rock on, dude." I never expect people to come to my blog, but I like it when I get an email on a comment - I think it's nice to be acknowledged...

carrie said...

I really don't put *that* much thought into it, maybe I should? I just comment when I have something to say and I do try to get back to my commenters in some form, either a visit and a comment or an email if I have time.

But I'm not perfect at it either, and I know some have slipped through the cracks.

The commenting aspect of blogging can be a head trip if you let it!

Nora said...

I hear ya on that one. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself. :-) I love leaving comments for people because I think most people really care what I have to say (NOT).

Andie said...

I sometimes wonder if some of the people I read are reading my blog and I won't lie, I love getting comments from other bloggers. it's like a really neat, open minded conversation!

I'd love to hear more from people, but I also understand that people have lives!