Sunday, July 20, 2008

so, i'm just going to talk about the drama

and i'm not going to pretend like it didn't happen, or tiptoe around it, or anything else.

dooce & the bloggess

the saturday night closing keynote speech thing. i sat there going "what the fuck is going on?" i mean seriously. someone asked dooce a question and she referenced being called a "mythical hobbit"by someone on their blog.. then the someone who called her the "mythical hobbit" stood up and pretty much talked so damn fast i could only hear half the stuff she was saying. but it was something like "i called you a mythical hobbit, but i called you a fucking AWESOME mythical hobbit.." and then something about apologizing and she's sorry, and drunk and rambling etc and so on and whatever.

and there it was. this total uncomfortableness in the room. the drunk ramblings that just came from her mouth and completely put dooce on the spot. in front of everyone. now sure, dooce brought it up in the first place so i can understand why the bloggess would have wanted to clear the air. personally, i don't think it was the time or place at all (for either of them to bring it up actually). and by the look on heather's face, she was clearly not amused.

but all of that aside- in the grand scheme of things... i kind of started to wonder if this is exactly what the bloggess was going for. let me be clear when i say that before last night, i had NO idea who the bloggess was. apparently though, i'm pretty much the only one. she is really well liked and all the women who read her say she's hilarious and that i'd love her. but back to my point... what if all the drama was kind of the point? what if she stood up and said what she did to dooce to get herself more exposure? i mean, on one hand- i was seriously thinking how fucked up it was that she brought it up and stood up in front of everyone just rambling this incoherent apology. but on the other hand i also thought- oh, she's kind of fucking brilliant. i mean just look- i'm talking about her right now and 2 days ago i didn't know who she was. i bet a lot of people are talking about her now when 2 days ago they didn't know who she was (or they will be).

so all of you who read her and know her and love her- would she do this type of thing for the attention? or do you think her apology and her actions were all genuine? because when i spoke to her later that evening, she told me that she had already talked to dooce the night before and apologized, etc. so if she had already said she was sorry. if she had already tried to clear the air, why bring it up again? why stand up in front of 1000 women, and talk about it? why make sure that the entire room knew exactly who it was who called dooce the "mythical hobbit?"


Issa said...

And this stuff I seriously missed hearing about. Truly it's just too good to miss and I love that you just put it out there instead of being around the bush, since i'm sure it will be sorta mentioned for weeks now. I have no idea who that is...not that I would, but it does seem a bit odd.

However I do have a question, isn't a hobbit, by nature, mythical? So isn't calling someone a mythical hobbit a bit redundent?

Drama, Drama, Drama. ;)

Kristin said...

Hey - I've been lurking around here all weekend... vicariously attending via your photos! Looks, btw, like SO MUCH DAMN FUN!

In any case, Jenny, aka The Bloggess, is, in my opinion, pretty genuine. For starters, she has a huge and loyal following... stemming from her blog for the Houston Chronicle and increasing from The Bloggess, her personal space... so it's not like she needs to get her name out there - secondly, she's totally off the wall and this sounds like very legit/typical behavior for her.... she is the first to admit to creating some awkward moments in her life.

Next year, I am totally attending!

Alison said...

It's actually quite brilliant, because now you've been to her blog and I've been to her blog, and how many more people are going to visit her blog because of this?

j.sterling said...

kristin.. i still don't know why YOU DIDN'T COME THIS YEAR! and by the way, i was telling WHOORL that i thought you and her would be good friends in real life. get on that, would ya? :)

and thank you for telling me about the bloggess. that's exactly what i'm asking- cause i genuinely, do not know her at all, so i don't know what's real or what's for attention. people do some shady shit for attention on their blogs you know? anyway-

next year.. YAY!

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I know who Jenny is and she is about as genuine as they come. She's just naturally rambly and insane...and adorably so.

Go read about her interaction with Amy Sedaris at last year's BlogHer and you'll see it wasn't just Dooce - she's a crazy nut around everyone. Tis why people love her.

whitneybee said...

Just so you know, I hadn't heard about her until this weekend either...

Anonymous said...

When Heather mentioned it didn't she acknowledge that the person who wrote that was likely in the room?

Given that what was written ended with, ''I’m going to San Francisco to see a mythical hobbit. This is weird. And is totally something I’m going to say to her if I happen to meet her. It will be ugly. '' I can understand taking offense even with the caveat of ''fucking awesome''.

All that said, I can't imagine it was initially written to manufacture drama but the response (I've seen the drunken talkingthisfast video) certainly seemed less than genuine and it appeared, to me, to be more an opportunity to call attention to herself (which, having been thrashed out of my mind more than once in my life, I can totally relate) and less a sincere apology.

Defiantmuse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Am I doing okay? said...

I was pretty shocked by the whole Truman Show that was The Blogess. Her reading on Friday, with the blond wig, did you catch that? I've been talking about it a lot. Wondering if it a pre-curser to a break down. Lots of ladies wanted to weigh in about her "panic disorder". And by comparison to my other friends who have "panic" issues they also share a need to steal the spotlight and be the center of attention. I'm kind of kicking myself for not drawing more attention to myself because my stats are Bruce Springstein. They're going down, down, down, down, down.

I was so happy to meet you and hang out. Thank you for the tips and I would like to get together when we get settled. xo

carrie said...


I missed all the drama.

Anonymous said...

Well, let's see...Dooce is the one who brought it up..right? Then why wouldn't the woman feel bad and apologize again? I mean it sounds as if she had already apologized, right? So why would Dooce bring it up again? You get where I'm coming from? I wasn't even there. Not sure, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here. I like Dooce and apparently I don't know the other person. I'm just thinking that after a few wines I might have been upset too if I had already apologized and Dooce brought it up once again. Do I make any sense here? Now I'm totally confusing myself.
At any rate, I love your blog Jennster and no I'm niot thinking you are a hobbit. Mythical or otherwise...Ha Ha

Anonymous said...

AND apparently I seem to have a spelling problem. Must be the wine I am consuming over here because I'm sad that I wasn't there to witness all the drama. Just kidding! Maybe!

SLynnRo said...

You don't stand up in a room and say that if you didn't want attention. Even if you are a nice funny person. I mean, really.

gwendomama said...

i resisted the drama talk but i caved. i was there. excuse me, but if you say 'someone compared me to a mythical creature like a hobbit and she is probably even in this room' and you DON'T expect that someone to say something back, then you live in some thin skinned fantasy world with special rules.
if you have ever seen the bloggess talk anywhere in public you would see that her shtick is 'i am drunk' all the time. she is a nervous speaker so she always says that, but she is not always drunk.
jenny (next to my table) of course responded to being called out in a room full of 800 people and heather totally ignored her and well...did her usual uncomfortable thing.
i think what jenny may have possibly been trying to say in that post was that 'dooce' is mythical because heather is rarely sharing the internet, just sharing 'with' the internet. she is a humor blogger so she called her a hobbit. also comparing her to jesus. or santa.
seriously i think people just are so ready to protect heather at any cost that they neglect to read or hear the words. OR READ THE BODY LANGUAGE.

Lara said...

i'm of the opinion that dooce shouldn't have brought it up in that forum. mostly i have trouble understanding what she (dooce) hoped to accomplish with that. i mean, she could have made the same point without using that example from jenny's site, especially knowing that jenny would be in the room listening, and even more especially if jenny had, in fact, already apologized for it. i don't think dooce did it to be mean or anything, i just think that in retrospect it wasn't the best decision she could have made.

gwendomama said...

oh yes, not quite done here, it all comes back in a drizzle you know... but let me REMIND some of you of the context in which heather invoked jenny's post. she lumped her in with hate mail, hydrochloric acid, and doggie death threats.

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Good grief. Can you all not get together and have your little female bloggers' "convention" without getting into so much drama?!?!?!?!

Ali said...

whatever are the fucking awesome mythical hobbit.

dooce has got nothing on you.


zchamu said...

I really don't think she'd do it for attention. She made a joke, and it ended up being a disaster. Having suffered through doing exactly the same thing, I totally have sympathy for the Bloggess. It'll blow over, I'm sure.

Dodi said...

I hope I never get to go to's scary! LOL
If the drama wasn't intentional, it sure was a brilliant "oops!" because I now am linked to both blogs...didn't know Dooce and didnt' know the Blogess...but I do now!!!

*Tanyetta* said...

pure brilliance!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dooce and the bloggess are both genuises. i love this!=]

Anonymous said...

It was so awesome meeting you! I've been saying suckit every chance I get. It's gotten stuck in my head but my gesturing needs work. Nowhere as good as you.

To answer your question, I am a friend of Jenny's and she is very genuine. She truly has a panic disorder and public speaking is very difficult for her. I was shocked that she stood up considering her anxiety but she was very hurt and angry at the public calling out. I'm wondering if Heather brought it up knowing that Jenny is anxious and figured she would never respond. I don't understand why Heather even brought it up especially after Jenny personally apologized. Jenny thought things were cool and even purchased Heather's book. What I find even more interesting is that Heather spoke about her early blogging days and how she wrote hurtful things that upset her parents and got her fired. Then minutes later she plays the victim card and publicly outs someone who had already apologized. Pretty low if you ask me. I'd feel this way whether or not Jenny was my friend. It seems to me that Heather harbors grudges. I hope it was worth it to her because Jenny is a complete mess over it.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't in the room, but here's what I think.

If I were mentioned in a speech by a very famous person that I admire, and if I were in a crowd of peers, I would want to acknowledge in some way that I was the person being acknowledged. Especially if it were based on a joke I had made that seemed to me to be funny at the time. And using the phrase "mythical hobbit" in this context can only be an attempt at being snarky.

In addition, I would think that by standing up and acknowledging it in front of that crowd would be a sort of post-modern meta event that would entertain people. I would not expect people to see it as an attempt to call anyone out.

that's my two cents.

(On a personal note, what's worse though, being called a mythical hobbit, or not being recognized at all? I imagine she'd take the Hobbit option.)

Backpacking Dad said...

Jenny doesn't deserve any of the ill-will she's getting. It was a completely genuine and hurt reaction.

It was also an awesome display of backbone.

Anonymous said...

We've talked about this endlessly in the lobby of the Westin, but I think both are at fault. It was a conversation the two of them should have had NOT in front of 1000 people.

But then again, when I'm shitfaced, I say the stupidest things and would probably have thought "I should totally stand up and say something IN FRONT OF A THOUSAND PEOPLE."

But you're fucking awesome.

Anonymous said...

Holy comments. Lemme just say I was befuzzled, too. Hell, confusion is my permanent state of mind. Anywho, I don't know Jenn the Bloggess well enough to make any assumptions, but it sure was a strange situation.

Anonymous said...

You already know where i stand on this Jennster. I adore Jenny....was she drunk? Probably, but she'll admit it if she was...she's like that;)

j.sterling said...

you know, i've tried to put myself in the situation and i think that if heather would have used me as an example (without naming me, yet a lot of people knew she was talking about me) i too would have wanted to clear the air. i think i would have wanted to stand up and say something in response to it- ESPECIALLY if i felt that i was being misunderstood by the person i had talked about.

i also understand dooce not thinking the original blog about her was funny. like others have mentioned, it was the "it will be ugly" that makes the post come off not so nice. and granted, i don't know jenny so i don't know her sense of humor, but i think we ALL know how lots of things get lost in translation when you are reading them. if it was a post about me and it ended with "it will be ugly" i definitely would be on the defensive and be like "what the fuck does it will be ugly mean?" and kind of be prepped for a fight maybe? but i also can hear myself saying "it will be ugly" in a totally joking way. but if you don't know the person, i can totally understand how you would not necessarily know how to take that post- and not find the humor in it (especially if it was written about you).

and i also understand that if they both talked about it the day before, i get that jenny would be like "oh man, i thought things were ok. she's not okay? shit, i thought we were okay." and being taken aback a bit when it was brought up.

there are lots of ways to see this and interpret it and feel about it.

one thing you can bet? i bet you dooce never gives an example again if she knows or thinks the person might be in the room. because look what happened?!

eeek said...

Oh lord...I could see me calling Dooce a mythical hobbit, and then peeing myself in front of 1000 people with pure joy over the fact that she read my blog and just gave me the opportunity for publicity in front of 1000 people - not that Jenny needs the publicity, but I do, pee-pee pants and all.

Anyway, mythical hobbit? Isn't Dooce like 6'2"? She's more of a mythical Orc. said...

BTW, the "it will be ugly" part I took to mean The Bloggess referring to herself. As in, "I'll probably call Dooce a mythical hobbit in a fit of fandom and then I will babble on and pee myself and say more ridiculous words of admiration."

That kind of ugly.

SLynnRo said...

Here's the thing. I think Dooce calling her out on that in a public forum was silly. Just like standing up and making a big deal of it in the middle of the keynote was not a good idea.

BUT. She wrote the original post. She knew there was a good chance of Dooce reading it. I just don't think you can say that there wasn't a huge attention seeking element to the whole thing. On both parts. They both made their beds on this one.

That said, I think it was pretty clear Jenny wasn't really calling her a mythical hobbit. It's more the "It's going to get ugly" thing that gets me.

Unknown said...

In my opinion...(not being a regular Jenny or Dooce reader) but "It will be ugly" probably meant something along the lines of "I'm gonna make a gigantic ass of myself"...since Bloggess seems to be admiring Dooce, and Santa and Jesus in her post. I always seem to make a giant drunken ass out of myself every time I speak with the famous talented person that I long to speak to but didn't have the courage to until I got drunk enough.
How's THAT for coming out of the lurky closet and not making sense (and offending Dooce?) all in the same breath??

HeatherPride said...

I'm totally with Sara and Jozet in that, I did read her original post and I took her comment "it will be ugly" as a reference to her possibly being slightly drunk, and awestruck at meeting dooce, and getting all blubbery and flattering and coming across like a complete douche because she admires her - not because she was gonna get down and throw a punch or some crap like that.

Heather said...

My first thought reading your post and before reading the comments is why would Dooce bring it up like that since Jenny had previously apologized? Now reading the comments, I see I'm not the only one who thought that.

My second thought is, regardless if it was an awkward moment, Jenny has to have some balls to stand up to Dooce (I mean, come on, Dooce? Holy cow) and publicly explain herself in a room full of people.

Sometimes genius is misunderstood as insanity.

CreoleInDC said...

Blog beef drives traffic. BRILLIANCE on the part of The Bloggess. PURE BRILLIANCE! Um...if that's what she was going for. :)

kittenpie said...

Here via Mom-101...

I do read her and my guess is that she really does feel weird and embarrassed and was feeling like she had to apologize in front of everyone knowing how much everyone respects Dooce, or perhaps to stand up for herself in hopes of not being lumped in with true trolls. The thing of it is, she is nervous around people she doesn't know - I've met her before, she gets twitchy and talks too fast when she's nervous, so that strikes me as being real, and part of her reaction, just knowing her. Which is how I took the original comments about it beiong ugly, too - that she would get all incoherent and make an ass of herself and it wouldn't be pretty.

Plus, she's kind of rambly and incoherent and inappropriate even on blog where there is the possibility of an internal filter at work, but that's one of the things that makes her hilarious.

But you know, I really don't think she needs to stir stuff up to get exposure, either. She's actually pretty well-known, and friends with Guy Kawasaki and all that sort of stuff.

Anyhow, just my take as someone who does read and has met her before, since you ask.

Anonymous said...

to RWA - that's why I have no interest in going to blogher - because people care about crap like that. What is with women, really? Men (and I) would have laughed and then gone out for a beer. Some parts seem like so much fun, and then there's the estrogenic "ooh-look-what-she-did" crap and the "I get thousands of comments a week so I'm cooler than you even though I'd never say that out loud" that keeps me home or wherever I went.

Anonymous said...

Well, you get a billionty ladies together and there will be some drama. I remember reading the Bloggess's original post and thinking it was funny and sweet. I read it as complimentary of Dooce and her writing.

I think Jenny's reaction after Heather's comment was genuine.

And one thing about the internet is that written words can be HARD to interpret - we've had different views on the "it's gonna be ugly" comment.

We all left BlogHer exhausted, and you couple that with private lives that aren't shared on the internet, and who's to know what else played into Heather's reading of the post, Jenny's reaction, or their conversations?

Both are talented women with lives outside the web, I was impressed with both of them, and life isn't always rainbows and butterflies, as that hottie Adam Levine sings.

It will sort itself out.

Girl con Queso said...

Hi. This is Laura. Jenny and I are friends and stayed at the same house this last weekend. And here's my take.

Yes, it was totally uncomfortable for everyone. Probably especially for Jenny and Heather.

I think everyone wishes it wouldn't have happened. Probably especially Jenny and Heather.

I think it was just a giant misunderstanding run amok.

About the post: I firmly believe (did the very first time I read it and do now) that Jenny meant it all as a huge compliment. That Heather is larger than life, and meeting her is like meeting someone on such
a "higher level" that it's like meeting a myth. (And for sure Jenny meant "It will be ugly" that Jenny would make an ass of herself. )

About the keynote: Believe it or not, Jenny wasn't drunk or even drinking. She was incredibly nervous. And well intended. And yes, a very fast talker and rambler. But her heart was definitely in the right place.

About the weekend: Jenny apologized the night before the keynote, at the keynote and again after the keynote in the hopes that Heather would understand her intentions. I have to believe Heather does because the woman is super intelligent and empathetic in her writing. I mean, she writes that she cares about inanimate objects, surely she gets that a fellow blogger feels bad for a misunderstanding.

And yes, I'm sure everyone hopes this all blows over soon, if it hasn't already. Probably especially Jenny and Heather.

Am I doing okay? said...

I'd just like to go on the record as predicting the words "mythical" and "hobbit" appear in somedoocebody's August masthead.

Anonymous said...

wow. it's like highschool all over again! that would have been something to see!

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

And this is why I love you. I wasn't there this year so I missed all the drama! Thank you for providing me w/ my fix. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm a HUGE Dooce fan, and had never heard of "The Bloggess" until reading your blog. So I went and checked her out. There is a small updated paragraph that reads something like "... apparantly Dooce has something against hobbits." Genuine and apologetic? How about bitchy? If she was so genuine and apologetic about it and was going to talk about the situation on her blog, I would expect a little more than that. Even though she's getting all of this ink on all of these blogs now, I'd read Dooce over her ANY day.

Christine said...

I found it incredibly odd that dooce called out Jenny in that way. As Gwendomama said, dooce lumped her in with some very ugly company.

Why would she chose to humiliate a fellow blogger in front of a crowd that would largely know the situation? Furthermore, Jenny's overall post was totally flattering towards dooce...sure, it could be taken out of context and warped, but her sentiment was that dooce is awesome and larger than life.

I mean, I can't imagine that dooce wasn't able to come up with ANY other examples of the hateful comments she endures.

Jenny is a total sweetheart...and smart, too. It did get ugly (I am certain that she meant that to be about herself. She's often self-deprecating).

Manager Mom said...

Damn, damn, double damn. I wish I had been there.

I don't really know if it was a desire for PR; from what I've seen of the Bloggess she is pretty much all id - it gets belched out from the brain cells and goes straight into the world.

And I mean that in a good way. Because I think she's hilarious. So I guess my point, if I ever had one, is that I don't care if it was made up or not, I still think she's friggin hilarous.

María said...

First off -it was fucking AWESOME to meet you. Constantly dancing ass. :P You look hot when you sweat.

Second - I read and love Jenny, but I can't answer your question. I honestly thought it was really fucking of the other lady that stood up and brought it back a few questions later, when it was obvious that Dooce didn't want to address it.

I was like 'OK: instigate much? Jesus Fucking H. Tap Dancing Dry Humping Christ!'

María said...

That should say 'I honestly thought it was really fucking CUNTTASTIC of the other lady that stood up and brought it back a few questions later, when it was obvious that Dooce didn't want to address it.'

Angie McCullagh said...

There's nothing wrong with being a mythical hobbit. They're very popular. And they sell a lot of movie tickets.

Lu said...

the drama was not necessary and i saw a lot of faces looking around going WTF. We all know what was going on. Let's not feed into the drama and jealousy. Let's rise above it.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally blown away that people are calling Jenny out as "responding to get attention."


She didn't bring it up. Heather did. In front of A THOUSAND PEOPLE. And she had every right to respond, especially since she had already had a conversation with Dooce about it.

And the jealousy comment is so totally ridiculous. Jenny has a huge following of her own. If anything, one could flip it around and say that the jealousy is from the other side. Jealousy that EVERYONE was talking about The Bloggess "Oh! Jenny is so hilarious!" "I want to party with The Bloggess!" "I love the bloggess!" perhaps she was becoming a little too "popular" for the other persons liking and had to be brought down a peg, or 9.

oh, what? Was that mean? You know what? I'm sick of people not being able to say anything short of TOTAL ADORATION AND PRAISE about Dooce without being called "Jealous!" Heather has always been nice to me and I respect her, but Jesus people. We're all human. None of us are perfect.

If you were called out the way Jenny was, can you honestly say you wouldn't have responded? And if not, WHY NOT? As women we're often expected to remain silent or run the risk of being called "attention whore" or "drama queen." Fuck that noise. Jenny had every right to respond.

And that's my two cents.

Grim Reality Girl said...

Wow, upon my reflection on the scandals of Blogher... can I just say, I want to party with YOU Jennster!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

First of all, Jennster, this is my first time at your blog. I've been following the BlogHer trail, cause I'm so jealous of all who went. ;)

I just wanted to say, I think I'm going to like visiting here.

Now, the question at hand. I've been reading The BLoggess for a while and knowing Jenny's humor, I would say her post was meant to be fun. I don't believe she was seriously knocking Dooce. Even when she said, "it's going to get ugly", I think that was for entertainment purposes only.

That being said, I think the scenario never should have taken place. If there was an issue, it should have been handled in private between the two women. NOT in front of a thousand people.

jordan said...

I was there and it was LAME that Heather brought it up in front of 1,000 people, especially because Jenny already had tried to apologize. The lamest part is that afterwards someone took Jenny to a hotel room where Heather was, thinking they would "work it all out" and Heather wouldn't accept Jenny's apology. She just kept saying things like "well it really hurt my feelings" and then ignoring her while she was signing books.

I'm just trying to understand why someone who dishes it out on a regular basis is so uptight about being called a mythical hobbit and why she can't accept a sincere apology.

Not cool.

polkadot said...

I've read the blogess for awhile, and I say she is genuine. She is/was a big dooce fan, she only meant the best.

Lawyer Mama said...

Jenny would never, ever, ever in a million years do something like that for attention. Jenny is one of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever met.

First, she doesn't need the publicity. She's already hugely popular. It's easy to figure out why if you read a few of her posts. Second, Jenny has a pretty serious social anxiety disorder. She jokes about it on her blog, but it's real and it's painful. Finally, I know just how incredibly hard it was for her to stand up and do that. She did it because she couldn't stand to have hurt someone. She overcame her fear and anxiety to try to reassure someone that she wasn't attacking, she was admiring.
I'm incredibly proud of Jenny for putting her hear out there like that. What you don't know is that Jenny and Heather talked after the key note as well and I understand that Jenny apologized AGAIN and tried to explain and wasn't met with much graciousness.
The "it will be ugly" was not referring to a fight or going after Dooce, it was referring to Jenny making an ass of herself trying to talk to someone she admires. If you read her blog - see the posts about Amy Sedaris & Guy Kawasaki - you'll see what I mean.

Unknown said...

Knowing Jenny, it wasn't done for attention and the original comment wasn't malicious.

I'd bet that the "it will be ugly" comment had nothing to do with dooce and more to do with a natural awkwardness. As in, meeting someone you really admire and babbling incoherently at them until they think you're an idiot (and that was ugly).
Does that make sense?

Anonymous said...

So bummed about leaving blogher meeting you and other amazing people like you face to face. Made my day to see my lowly trashy url on your blogroll!
Love it that you posted this, you rock so completely. Girl Drama sucks but your post made me want to say:

1.I'm with allathither in that hobbits sell a whole lotta movie tickets.
2.Anybody who reads Jenny's blog knows she is brilliant, funny and WAY out there. The Bloggess is not to be taken literally. Grain of salt, sense of humor anyone? The tagline for her blog says: Like Mother Teresa, Only Better. So you know you're not reading the OpEd section of the NY Times.
3. Jenny is very sweet and kind to others, loyal. She wasn't trying to get attention, it was defense.

Anonymous said...

Also agree with and totally dig on
comments from Slacker Mommy, BackpackDad, Cowboy's Wife, christine.

Immortal Matriarch: How in the hell did I not get to hang out with you this past weekend? OMG.
"Jesus Fucking H. Tap Dancing Dry Humping Christ!"
I am so using your art like curse words. Beautiful, truly an artist you are.

SUEB0B said...

I believe it is a conspiracy between Jenny and Dooce for Total World Humor Blogger Domination. They are in cahoots. I can feel it.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to add my two cents and say that (as a reader of The Bloggess) I agree with all the people who have said that when Jenny wrote "it will be ugly" it wasn't aimed at Dooce, but just meant that Jenny would make a fool of herself sort of ugly.

I think it's pretty silly that Heather actually took that post as an insult. I'm guessing she only read that one post and made her judgement of Jenny from only that.

Anonymous said...

Here's the all-around brilliance -- not only did Jenny gain some readers -- so did YOU.

I like chicks with balls. In a purely non-tranny way.

I'll be back!

califmom said...

The only person obviously trying to gain more readership during that keynote was Stephanie Klein. If find her behavior more suspect than either Dooce or The Bloggess. She plugged her books, blog, and herself every other breath. If you're doing the closing keynote, I don't think you need to advertise your wares.

Tina@ SendChocolateNow said...

I will agree with califmom. When you are in a session, and Q&A time comes...that's NOT the time to do a 45 second commercial for your blog, complete with URL, and then throw in a half-assed question to make it look good.

We're onto the schtick. Not impressed, and won't read said blog because if the pimping.

As for the Bloggess and Dooce. Jenny is very down to earth, talks to everyone and is a sweetheart. Dooce? Keeps to herself and doesn't seem to be a part of the community.

I read them both. It is unfortunate that the apology wasn't accepted. said...

ack! Just want to be clear. I DON'T think Jenny was doing this for publicity. I was saying that I would play my evil goblin to The D-girl's mythical troll or gnome or whatever and totally think "whoo hoo" in some small,desperate corner of my brain.

Jenny is a more pure or heart than I am. She's more of an elf. A goofy, gidyy elf, but an elf.

"Gollum! Gollum!"

Amanda said...

My mouth was hanging wide open. I tend to agree with the sentiment that it was neither the time nor the place. The whole "casting the first stone" thing...somebody should have kept the stone in her damn pocket.

Anonymous said...

Dooce is acting like a fucking brat.

Miss Britt said...

Um - Dooce reads The Bloggess?

How is it that no one is talking about THAT?!?! That fucking ROCKS!

Anonymous said...

I'd never heard of Dooce til The Bloggess.
Dooce wipes her ass just like everyone else....doesn't she?

Anonymous said...

I've never been here before, but you know how the grapevine goes...

I know very little about The Bloggess, except that she is well liked. I think I've read two or three of her entries.

That said, if someone called me out in a room full of people, I would probably also feel the need to stand up for myself. I would also probably make an idiot of myself because I would be steaming AND nervous. Yes, The bloggess started it by saying it to begin with, but I think Dooce one-upped her in the snarky department.

I do read Dooce because I like her writing. The jury is still out if she's a half-decent person in public though. I wasn't there, but it sounds like she (Dooce) knew exactly what she was doing.

Anonymous said...

I know Jenny. If you read her posts (or get to know her in person),she's not malicious at all. She's silly. I think the "and it will be ugly" is a self-deprecating comment to her self-professed ridiculousness. Of course, that's my opinion.

If Jenny apologized before Dooce's talk and Dooce brought it up anyway, at this point Jenny was taking the opportunity to own it in that room at the time, a "yeah, that would be me. And I'm sorry" rather than duck & cover and be sheepish about it all weekend long. I think that's pretty stand up (if you can forgive the pun) for a person to do. I don't think that's an attn seeking device; I think that's called having a spine.

If something is bygones, it's bygones. Apparently it wasn't (or not completely) if it was brought up in Dooce's speech. And hey, she's entitled to bring up whatever she wants but it's not like the talk was given into a black hole.

katydidnot said...

that's been my theory on this blog v. blog silliness to begin with. effing brilliant PR.

Kathryn said...

Hey there, thanks for stopping by my blog. I loved the entire thing--oh drama, how I love thee?

No one likes to say shit about Dooce, because they are afraid the Blogging Gods will throw down their wrath of little bandwidth.

I have no problem saying that I don't care for her, I never have and I can't stand how people ooh and awe over her. I'm not saying she's not a good writer, she is--but hello? A lot of us are.

She's just another blogger like the rest of us and happens to have a little money and notoriety from it--this doesn't make her any better than the rest of us.

She was RUDE to bring that up in front of all of those people, especially in the context she brought it up.

I just hope that Jenny can blow it off and put it behind her.


flutter said...

Jenny is good people. Period. She was almost accosted by some people prior to the keynote about that post.

Seriously, Jenny is a good, sweet, incredibly genuine person.

hollibobolli said...

I thought she stood up because after Dooce used the example there was this buzz right around Jenny - so people obviously knew she was the culprit, but in context not everyone knew exactly what was said. As someone else pointed out - she was mixed in with death threats, etc.. So I think she probably wanted to explain herself to all the people staring and wondering what the F she said that was so horrid it warranted on-stage discussion.

I love Jenny and I believe she was genuine. And there is a difference between being a hobbit and a fucking awesome hobbit. I'm sorry.

Anyway, you screamed that you had pictures of my daughter as I was going up an escalator. People don't always remember me - but they usually remember Faith in her tutus.


Kathi D said...

Dang, WTF?

I heard about Dooce and bookmarked her for a couple of weeks until I decided her "greatness" must have been somewhere in the past, because these days there is no "there" there.

On the other hand, I just discovered the Blogess because of this foo-faw and she is hilarious.

And, bitch please! That post "hurt my feelings" Dooce? That is the funniest thing I personally have heard from The Douche, er, Dooce.

moosh in indy. said...

I fart when confronted with awkwardness.
I tooted a lot for those few minutes.
That's all I have to say about that.

Anonymous said...

It seems as though everyone is missing the point--I'm struck by the fact that both Dooce and Jenny were hurt. Dooce was speaking, in public, from a place of feeling hurt. She may have millions of readers, but if you do read her you'd understand that she is quite sensitive. And Jenny responded out of hurt as well. I read this all as extremely unfortunate, but quite understandable in that context.

Magpie said...

i think dooce totally misunderstood jenny's post in the first place.

Anonymous said...

It was declasse to call it out in public and even more so to refuse an apology. Everyone needs to get off Heather's dick already. It's hysterical to me how all the "a-listers" are mum about it because no one wants to hurt their traffic. Fake, fake, fake.

Mama said...

I know the BLoggess by blog and in life, and no, she would absolutely not do this sort of thing for attention.

Her Bad Mother said...

If I'd been in Jenny's shoes? I woulda stood up and babbled, too. And not been quite so cute doing it.

Anonymous said...

Huh. I only know Jenny from her awesomely hilarious posts, and the time I almost peed my pants because she commented on my little blog. But from what I have read/seen of her, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body, and would just want to make it right with the Dooce.

And Dooce is just lucky Black Hockey Jesus wasn't there, as he would have challenged her t oa backflipping contest during the keynote. THAT would have been pretty.

Anonymous said...

I know, right? I sort of doubted she kept the ring, cos you know how BHJ plays fast and loose with silly things like 'truth' and 'reality'.

I totally believe the d00d now. SEND BACK THE CLASS RING, HEATHER.

Anonymous said...

You know what I've found out by reading these comments? No seems to know Heather/Dooce. At all. There are quite a few comments by people who know Jenny, but none by people who actually know Heather.

Ivory Tower, anyone?

I was not at BlogHer but thanks for posting about the "drama" no one else could seem to bring up. Gutsy, you.

Anonymous said...

"I was shocked that she stood up considering her anxiety but she was very hurt and angry at the public calling out"

Ok, how is calling Dooce something that a lot of people could read as an insult NOT a "public calling out"?

I think people like to do the name calling thing until they have things turned back onto themselves.

If you can dish it out publicly (and what did she mean by "it's going to be bad") than be prepared to get it back publicly.

Why does everyone jump to Heather's defense? For the same reason people are running to Jenny's defense- they're both real people with real feelings and people should stop being so careless with their rants online.

Anonymous said...

The comment about not knowing certain people? Ditto right the hell back.

Tracey said...

I think it's pretty clear that Jenny meant that Dooce is like some sort of fabled, mythical creature (not unlike, duh, a hobbit, gnome, or elf). I'm surprised that everyone didn't get that. The drama seems more manufactured by people other than The Bloggess, who was just making a joke it seems.

Lighten up, intarwebs.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to start selling "Team Bloggess" shirts. Dooce should publicly apologize to Jenny.

Mom O Matic said...

I count Jenny as a good friend, and I can say she would NEVER have done that for attention.

I think that while Dooce has a right to talk about what offends her she also needs to retain a certain amount of empathy. In all fairness, she did just finish talking about how she had compared her Mormon relatives to an Islamic regime. Oops.

Couldn't she perhaps understand why someone might not come across as they intended to on their blog?

I think Jenny was appropriate in standing up to apologize/make amends with Dooce.

I could say more, but really. Dooce was offended - she shared. Jenny apologized. The end.

Jaelithe said...

You know, I was much more intrigued by other stuff that was going on at BlogHer. Like, meeting cool people. And talking to Congresswomen. Stuff like that.

I am kind of glad this thread exists, though, because in the course of perusing it I just went over to read Jenny the Bloggess' original post that started the brouhaha, and I have to agree with everyone who said the "It will be ugly" referred ENTIRELY to Jenny's own fear that she would make a fool of herself because she liked Dooce so much. It's a shame Heather didn't see it that way. I can understand why Heather misinterpreted it since she was probably already stressing over death threats &c. But given Jenny had ALREADY told Heather, before Heather's presentation, that it had only been meant in a spirit of fun and apologized for any misunderstanding, I think it was an unfortunate choice for Heather to bring it up during her presentation.

Anyway I thought the community keynote the night before was one of the best events I've ever experienced, anywhere. Maybe next year we should just do that both nights. Seriously.

Because, isn't listening to a multitude of unique voices, and striving to find the commonalities between them, what our community is really about?

Anonymous said...

Dammit people, do I have to write ANOTHER post about how we all just need to chill the fuck out? lol

It's impossible to say "oh, well if I was Heather and that happened to me" because I'm NOT Heather, I have no idea what her life is like. Could she have used a better example of blog posts that are written about her that hurt her feelings? Sure, especially if Jenny had already found her and apologized the night before. The fact that Heather said "this person is probably in the room" when she knew damn well that Jenny probably WAS in the room, well, that's not a choice I would have made.

I think Jenny showed amazing courage in standing up and saying she was the one who wrote the post and trying to explain what she meant. But the fact is, some people just don't want to hear it, once their feelings get hurt, there is nothing you can say to make it better.

Next year let's have NO DRAMA.

Shannon said...

What I don't get is why Jenny The Bloggess was so upset about it all. I mean Dooce referenced her and there was this scene and if you ask me, it's all good. (There is no such thing as bad publicity.) But Jenny was really upset like the rest of the weekend. If it were me, I'd be all like, "Ha! I just made a scene at Dooce's keynote. I'm so awesome."

heels said...

I thought the whole Dooce comment/Blogess response thing was silly and I was ready to just let it go as one of those freaky things that happens when you get 1000 people in a room together. However, the part that really got to me was the woman who stood up later and asked Dooce to respond BACK to the Blogess right there. I was really pissed, because I felt like she was intentionally stirring up shit. I was impressed, however, that Dooce decided to not answer unless the Blogess was there. Out of all of that crap, that part, at least, was a little classy.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Considering all of the things that Heather has been called in her life a "mythical hobbit" is lame and tame at best. The whole thing seems pretty stupid to me. Then again, i wasn't there.

andrea_frets said...

I'm new to your blog but I'm enjoying your posts about your experiences at Blogher. This whole thing with Dooce and the Bloggess is both sad and fascinating; sort of like a car wreck. I read both blogs and each woman has a unique style that I enjoy. I read the "mythical hobbit" post and completely understood what she meant when she said it would get ugly. For a person with a panic disorder, I can totally see myself stumbling on my words or saying something completely outrageous. I hope when I get to Blogher in the future (fingers crossed!) that nothing too awkward happens. But I would totally be up for cheeseburger bags on my head.

The Kitchen Vixen said...

First of all I just stumbled upon your blog,and I have to say thanks for the drama;) It made the rest of my day fly by. is it always like this here? if so i'll definitely be back;)

Here is my take because i'm bored at work and i love the drama...

when Jenny initially apologized to dooce prior to the keynote did dooce accept it? If so she is a fake ass bitch, and if i had been in the same situation as jenny i would have called her out for being a fake ass bitch and then it would have REALLY gotten ugly.

But if dooce never accepted jenny's apology from the beginning and then lumped her in with a group of psychos i would have stood up just to make it clear that i had already apologized and if she would have liked to discuss it further she should have done it when i addressed her about it the night before, and i would have been more than happy to talk it over with her.

either way anyone who would let someone group them together with stalkers and psychos and stay shut is pathetic in my book.

jenny has huge muther effing king kong balls and i have never read her blog, but i will now. dooce on the other hand sounds like a big baby and way too high maintenance for my tastes.

Jenny Grace said...

I'll totally come late to this, because I just found this post. But.
I was at Blogher, but not at the ending keynote (I was hungover, and well, tired). But I've read a lot about it, and talked to a lot of people about it. And I have thoughts:
1. I read the Blogess's post BEFORE going to BlogHer, and I thought it was funny. I pictured "it will be ugly" as in, "I'm a fan and I might embarrass myself."
2. I think it was inappropriate for Dooce to bring it up in that forum, especially knowing that Blogess was in the room, especially knowing that she had already personally apologized, especially lumping her with hate mail.

Anonymous said...

Team Bloggess here. She had already apologized to Dooce and that was tacky and rude of Dooce to bring it back up.

Anonymous said...

If I were Jenny, I'd stand up for myself, too. As an opinionated female, I'm guessing you'd do the same.

Anonymous said...

First off I am proud to call Jenny my friend. I don't know you or Dooce so if I sound biased my disclaimer is pretty clear

Jenny is the genuine article, she shoots from the hip. She's a Texan that's what they do. Jenny's humor on her blogs are a great source of entertainment for a lot of people. I look forward to every new post. I could see how some people would not get it and if not taken with a huge grain of salt could possibly upset someone but Jenny really means no harm to anyone she posts about.

You have to look at the context in which Jenny is writing. Dooce, to some, is this huge weblebrity that has, to some, achieved mythical status. Knowing Jenny and the fact that she does have anxiety disorder I can see the thought process on how she got to saying those things. I thought it was brilliant and I laugh every time I read it. I haven't spoken to her yet but I feel confident in saying she meant no harm in saying those things if anything she meant total respect to Dooce for what she has accomplished.

Jenny routinely pokes fun or calls people out in her blog and the people with thick skin who get it love it. Case in point: Guy Kawasaki. Jenny, in her brand of humor, talked openly about 'Kawa(stalk)i' and asked Guy if he invented the motorcycle thankfully Guy has a great sense of humor("All you white people look the same to me") and laughed about it. Guy even came to Houston and spoke, for FREE, and had Jenny write his introduction for the event which she had 'Evil Dwight' Silveman from the Houston Chronicle read

Guy loved it and their friendship is stronger today because of who she is. This is the guy that turned down the CEO position at Yahoo. He's kind of a big deal

Jenny, if you read this you will always have a fan in me. Keep doing what you do because you are brilliant at it. Some people don't get you and really that is too bad for them because you are delight to not only read but to be around as well. You have that ability to attract people. You have an energy about you that people want to be around and I look forward to seeing you again

Now, lets get to the heart of the matter here Jennster. If I read your post correctly you are upset at the fact that you assumed Jenny was doing this purely out of a need for attention. Using that same argument aren't you in fact doing the same thing here? Using an event to draw more attention to yourself? You've had 99 comments so far on a site that routinely gets mid to lower teens. It would seem that your post has drawn a lot of water. Would you be willing to share your site traffic stats on this post and a non-blogher post?

I don't know you and I'm sure if we met we would be friends but this post could be construed as 'piggy backing' on a story to get more attention(web traffic) on you(your site). That's actually worse than standing up in front of 1000 people to defend yourself.

So tell me Jennster, which one are you? The pot or the kettle?

happykatie said...

I'm a crazy-proud pal of Jenny's, I can think of fewer people with such an awesome sense of humor and genuinely loving and frank attitude towards everything.

When we caught up on Saturday and Jenny told me about her apology to Dooce the night before, you could see it really upset her that Heather took her post the wrong way. Like really upset her -- she was just being Jenny, being silly, slightly (wonderfully) neurotic and off-the-cuff... and things got blown in a completely different (and kind of weird) direction by Heather.

Misunderstandings happen. We're human. But a public call out in a room full of peers, that's just tacky - especially after the "offender" practically apologetically prostrated herself multiple times. I'm glad Jenny had the guts to get up on that microphone, I know that took a lot for her and she had every right to defend herself against something so snarky and nasty. I expected more from Heather, honestly.

That being said, I read Jenny's blog every day and for the last couple of years now only check in occasionally to see what Heather is up to. Both are funny and talented, but you know... I think I'll stick with the gal that shows the biggest and kindest heart any day. Life is too short for weird drama, looking forward to less bullshit next Blogher.

Anonymous said...

as a long time fan of jenny's (the bloggess) this isn't something i'd EVER think she would do as a stunt for attention.

like so many others have pointed out, she already has a huge following. i take her to be very kind, with an awesome sense of humor.

Jon said...

Dooce can't even backflip.

Anonymous said...

So she said i will probably call Dooce a mythical hobbit. It will be ugly. Then she called Dooce a mythical hobbit and it was ugly. LOL What insight. i am jealous.

Lisa said...

I'd never heard of her either. I'll be visiting her blog next. Regardless of her intentions, her blog will get tons of traffic...

Mojavi said...

did anyone get the math homework? I totally was spacing because timmy was sooo cute!

*wink* i just couldn't resist

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

I think Dooce shouldn't have brought it up again. I would have stood up too, but I would have said "I called you a fucking awesome mythical hobbit, you bitter, whiny thing". Seriously.

Unknown said...

so this was all the drama? man, i imagined some major bitch-slapping going on - not twisted word play.

Anonymous said...

This is so pathetic- everyone's rushing to Blogess' defense because she had her feelings hurt. Can you imagine how much Dooce must get her feelings hurt on a much bigger and more personal level on a daily basis? Because her blog is popular does that mean she's supposed to be immune to comments said about her online?

You're asking everyone to have empathy for someone who plays drunk and said something easily misunderstood in a very public forum- try having empathy for someone who gets death threats, regular hatemail and gets called a bitch by a bunch of angry people who don't know her. Dooce is the one who deserves some empathy here- sheesh.

gwendomama said...

i'd just like to say that this drama is so OVER and why on earth didn't you try and molest me?

i was dressed nice enough to deliver the lefftover cheeseburgers to the homeless AND have a great ass.

not fair.

j.sterling said...

jason.. i'm not surprised that someone actually asked this. i am surprised it took as long as it did in comments for someone to accuse me what you are accusing me of. if you'll notice, i did not link directly to either dooce or the bloggess for this exact reason. i didn't want it to come off like a ploy for blog hits- i didn't want it to be that i was trying to get attention, or any kind of shit. the only reason this particular post got the attention it did, was because instead of talking about what happened themselves, numerous blogs chose to link to me instead. that way they could reference what happened, without having to talk about it, or form an opinion on it, etc.

it wouldn't be fair to post my stats because my stats take a HUGE spike after every blogher event. it did the same thing this year that it did 2 years ago. today, i'm pretty much back to my average viewings. and i have far more readers than commenters.

i did this post so that i could ask a question and i got lots of answers. i was happy about that. i got what i wanted. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, what happened to the good old BlogHer days when you were posing with a fanny pack and I was trying to smooch up to Arianna Huffington with my extremely awkward public speaking style? You know those days when we were slapping "Fuck You I'm a Mommyblogger" tattoos on our cleavage and drunkenly slurring to each other that "AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhlooooooooveyeeeeeeewwwww!"

Maybe we need another natural disaster for everyone to blog about, thus forcing all of us to get the world in perspective.


crazymumma said...

so much high drama but it is all so avoidable really.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a fan of Dooce or Bloggess (not because I don't like them but I read their blogs like once a month and that is why I'm so late chiming in here) but it does seem as though (from all the posts made on this subject) that Dooce was just using the hobbit reference as an example of how some bloggers are elevated to celebrity, or even deity, status, and perhaps she'd just read Bloggess' entry right before the keynote and had mentioned it because it was fresh on her mind.

Didn't sound as though she was miffed about it, just amused, so when Bloggess did own up to it the way she did, it may have just embarrassed both women a little since they are virtually strangers.

No big deal, y'all!

Ellen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
coffeygirlb said...

sounds like dooce needs to get her ego in check...never thought i'd day that, but it's honestly the vibe i'm getting!

Anonymous said...

Hey there! One year later, and you're going to get all this traffic back again. Now with Dooce's most recent post, I'm sure I'm not the only one googling to find out what she was talking about and look where it led me. :) Funny how these internets work. Anyway, just wanted to make my prediction that this post will be found and read alot over the next few days.