Sunday, September 30, 2007

nothing makes you feel like a complete fat ass

like trying on (or attempting to) adult halloween costumes. holy crap.

first of all, why are all the women halloween costumes so freaking slutty? granted, if i looked like the chick in the picture, i wouldn't mind at all, cause i would totally wear one. but i don't look like the model in the picture. and i'm guessing most of you don't either.

so yesterday while blake and i were shopping for halloween costumes, i decided to try one on. blake is going to be an old school gangster.. like al capone style. so we wanted to find one for me too. you know, a girl gangster with PANTS. well that wasn't an option, unless i was 12 because the costumes for grown ups were gangster chicks in skirts (how realistic). blake told me to try one on anyway, just to see. poor jennster. i don't even think i could get the thing onto my arms, much less my body. and once it was actually on, the skirt part ended a little past my waist. ummmm... no thank you. and now i feel like a fucking fat piece of lard.

and now i hate the girl in the picture above even more. stupid skinny whore. it's not like i didn't know better. i mean, the biggest the costume came in was a medium. and the medium is a size 6. so does that mean a large is size 8 and an EXTRA LARGE is a size 10???? who the hell designs these damn things?!??! since when did a size 10 become an extra large?!?! assholes.

well i found this costume online and i might go for it. but i mean, i'd have to order a triple decker extra large and pray it fits, since according to costume sizes, i'm the size of a hot air balloon. wish me luck.


Alison said...

The way they mark clothing these days sucks. I don't think anyone is just one size anymore...really, it depends on the store you're in or the brand you're buying. Besides, I think the online gangster costume is much more realistic. Try it!

Tracy said...

I went through the same thing last year. It's like, "When did wearing adult sizes mean I had to be a size "6" to fit into a "one size fits all" costume?


BUT! I did finally find the CUTEST wonder woman costume that fit me perfectly. And I've decided that I'm gonna be WW every year for Halloween for the rest of my life. :) Okay, at least I will again this year.

Karen Bodkin said...

Not sure what I'm wearing besides a blond shitass wig, and a couple of baby boy dolls strapped to me, but I'll be chomping on way too much gum, and speaking in a southern accent. My hubs will be wearing his jeans low and his ballcap sideways. Meet the Canadian version of Britney and K-Fed.

Anonymous said...

I've decided this year I'm going to find the most Not Supposed To Be Slutty costume and make it slutty, to prove a point.

I'm thinking, Slutty Kindergarten Teacher. (Hopefully I can find it in a size quadruple X)

Aleka's World said...

Triple decker extra large. I love it! Yeah, it's pathetic that a 10 is an XL!!! Let's feed (no pun intended)women's irrational insecurities about our bodies. Anorexia is way overrated! :)

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Are you calling her a whore because she's skinny - or because of what she's wearing?

Anonymous said...

You in an extra-large. I don't think so. When I first opened your page I thought the top picture was you!

j.sterling said...

i called her a whore because she's skinny. if i was that thin, i'd work that costume too. lol

daddy dan.. NOT.EVEN.CLOSE.

TrojanGuy said...

Yeah, it's pretty funny how all of the adult female costumes in stores are "Slutty xxxxxx". Wanna be a nurse? We have a slutty nurse costume! Wanna be a gangster? Try our slutty gangster costume! Wanna be an M&M? Then I'm sure you'll love our famous slutty M&M costume!