Sunday, September 16, 2007

if only my ring could shoot lasers

at people, i might be happier.

like this morning for example. this sleezy guy in a super old convertible bmw pulled up next to me and made this face when he saw me. blah blah, whatever.. i pretended i couldn't see him.. or that i didn't see him.. or that i didn't care. but he wouldn't fucking drive away. he just stayed next to my car until i turned and looked at him and he motioned for me to roll down my window. i rolled it down, very annoyed, and asked the douchebag, "what?" in my bitchiest tone. to which he replied, "if you aren't married, i'd like to take you out on a date."

if i'm not married? IF I'M NOT MARRIED? are you fucking blind, or just stupid?!?! so i flashed my bling hand and informed him that i was "SO totally married" and he got annoyed. ANNOYED! this is when laser powered diamonds would come in SO handy! i would have lasered all of his tires and cut holes in the side of his dumb car for being such a chump.

but really.. laser beam firing rings?! i would SO buy that!


Alison said...

I hate that feeling when you know the person in the car next to you is looking at you and all they want is for you to look back and it's so creepy and annoying and they know you know they're looking. I'd like one of those rings too.

Tracy said...

Then you and your husband could TOTALLY do your super twin powers...ACTIVATE!

Meg said...

You crack me up, but it would be cool. I would have used it on a bunch of people this week already.

Happy late birthday by the way! I've been busy and I just forgot to leave you a comment!

Becky at lifeoutoffocus said...

i would so buy that too and use it whenever necessary. i HATE it when guys hit on me and then act annoyed when i say i'm married. wtf?! dont be mad at me cuz someone was lucky enough to find me early in life ya asshole!

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Wow. Not too hostile today, are we?


Lisa said...

If you ever figure out a way to make one of those rings, let me know. I would SO PAY for one of those.

That dude was a douche. But at least he knows a hot chick when he sees one! :-)

Anonymous said...

There you go reach out clack your hand on his car and say Magical Married Powers and get a crazy look on your face like your possesed and point your ring at him....good idea starshine!

Andie said...

love it. I totally need one of those for all of the creepy construction workers that check me out at stoplights.

JUST ONCE, why can't a hottie hit on me?