Monday, July 30, 2007

married: phase 2 begins

i guess it's true that once you get married, things start happening fast. or maybe you just get bored? or maybe you just WANT STUFF? or maybe it just seems like the next logical step in becoming a grown up?

we got preapproved for a home loan on saturday morning and by saturday evening we were out scouting neighborhoods and looking at houses.

of course i was an emotional wreck the whole day thinking that blake would not want to move again. the thought of hurting my child literally causes me pain that i cannot even begin to describe. and i kept imagining him being so torn up about it, that i could barely breath. saturday was full of emotional breakdowns by yours truly.

it's just that the last thing i want to do as a mother is make decisions that aren't the best ones for my child. so boyfriend and i decided that we would involve him in the decision. see if moving to the next town north would be okay with him. of course this means new everything (school, baseball, daycare, doctors, dentist, neighborhood, friends, etc). and of course i think we were both prepared for him to freak out, be upset, cry, and say he didn't want to move. and if that happened, we were going to really have to talk about if moving was the right thing for us or not. ideally, we would stay in the same town. but realistically, we can't afford it. and we can afford a really nice place in the next town north. and i honestly think i like that city better. it's bigger and has more to do. it allows for growth where this place doesn't. plus we could have a HOUSE! a house! which is almost too much fun to really even think about!!!!!

so when blake got home, we talked to him about it. he didn't even blink before giving us a thumbs UP sign (which he has been doing all the time lately. everything is either a thumbs up or a thumbs down and i pretty much want to kill whoever taught him this lame shit). he said that he "didn't care" if we moved and that he wanted to move and it was cool! talk about a weight being lifted!!!! I LOVE THIS KID!

it's scary though. and i know that everyone tells me the same thing- you just make it work. and i get that, i really do. but when you write down numbers on paper and those numbers are supposed to be numbers you can afford, it just doesn't seem right. i immediately freak out and think "we don't bring home that much extra a month to afford that kind of mortgage!" it's freaky. and overwhelming. and boyfriend and i both walked out of our preapproval meeting with headaches. all the jargon is like listening to people speak in french. i feel like i just cocked my head to the side and smiled like a nice little english speaking girl... all the while wondering "what the hell did she just say? what the fuck is she talking about?" the whole financing lingo is beyond me. just give me money i can truly afford. and don't give me more than that. you know?

for as scary as it all is, it's really really really exciting!

ps- we are apparently poster children for credit scores.

pss- guess who has the better credit score?


Southern (in)Sanity said...

So what was Blake's response?

And, since you're married, your credit score is his - and his is yours. So you're both equal.

j.sterling said...

i am so lame.. i was so riled up in the what if that i forgot to write what he said.. go read again. lol

Anonymous said...

I think you have the better credit score because girls rock like that. Anyway, I hope Blake was good with the idea and he didn't freak out. I think he's still at a young age where him moving won't affect him THAT much, you know? Good luck with that, I know it's tough!

Anonymous said...

Hope you all find a place that makes you all happy. :) Goodluck on the house hunting front.

Anonymous said...

The reason Blake acted the way he did is simple, you silly girl! He's HAPPY! He's happy and feels that it doesn't matter where he lives because he's got a whole family now. Not that he didn't before, but it's different now. And he's content being wherever it is he has to be as long as he's with the both of you.

As far as buying a house and not knowing what's what, isn't there someone you can hire to interpret those contract thingys for you? Like a real estate broker for the buyer's interest? Or a lawyer to go over the contracts?

Just take it slow. Don't do anything your collective guts tell you not to do.

And don't settle.

Anonymous said...

The week I met my man, he closed on his newly built house. Thank the lord for small miracles, huh? We don't have to deal with moving and such. WOOOOOOOO!!

Home buying, regardless of how stressful it is, is SO much fun though. I loved doing it and getting to pick which house I wanted to live in and fix up and decorate. :)

Have fun!

Sincerely Iowa said...


We also moved to a new town (25 miles from our old house). And so we've also had to find new schools, new doctor, new EVERYTHING. My girls (11 and 6) are absolutely LOVING it, and are very excited to start their new school in a few weeks. Kids are very resilient creatures, and like someone else commented-- if Blake is happy, he's going to go with the flow and see where life takes him.

I give it a big 'thumbs up' too! New houses are FUN, FUN, FUN! We're actually building, so we're renting right now... that sucks, but thinking about a new house that is ALL MINE is awesome!


Anonymous said...

Then when you hit about Stage 10 and you almost have it paid off you both get the WILD idea to get a equity loan and go hog wild redoing stuff and sign up for longer payments......EEEEP!

Shoot me now.

Seriously have a good time house hunting and as long as you are a family, Blake will love all of it, it is an adventure for him as well this married life!! .....:)

Anonymous said...

What did Blake actually say about it?

I hope he is happy! For him and for you!!!

point45 said...

i have the HIGHEST SCORE!!

Meg said...

Yeah I freaked out too when we signed off on our house. And then we went and financed siding, so I totally freaked even worse. But you know what? It's working.

So good luck to you guys. Having your own house will be so much fun!

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Well, Blake blessed the move, huh? Good news.

Karen said...

Blake seems like such a good kid!

My brother got married about 2 years ago. In the first year he and his wife: bought their first house and renovated like crazy, bought 2 new cars, had a baby and adopted 2 other little girls.

All the change made them so much stronger. Phase 2 sounds like a lot of fun to me.

Anonymous said...

yay !! I hope you guys find something awesome!! That is great about Blake. so happy for you all

Blog Owner said...

This is my first time to your site but already I'm convinced you have the better credit score :)

Alison said...

Call me conservative (oh NOOOOOOOOOO!), but make sure you stick with a 30-year fixed. All those other ones may sound really neat and get you a monthly payment you can afford, but those other ones are the reason the stock market is in the dumps right now. People can't pay their screwy mortgages.