do i have to have the sex talk ALREADY?!?!

*deep breaths*
*deep breaths*

seriously. blake is 8. i don't care if he's 20. when do i have to have the sex talk with him?!?! blake likes michael jackson. not in that way, freaks. he totally digs his old music. you know, when mj was still black. it makes me laugh because when i was in 5th grade, i LOVED michael jackson and my favorite song was bad. i used to dance my ass off to it everytime i heard it. so it makes me laugh that blake likes those old songs too.

anyway, i told blake that mj's music was good back in the day but now he's a little off his rocker and he said that the kids at school said something gross about him.

now of course i was pretty sure what the kids said, but i wanted to hear it from blake. so after pleading with him to tell me just what the heck the kids said, he finally goes, "they said he had *covers mouth with blanket and mumbles* with boys." so i inquire with a "he had WHAT with boys?!?" and blake doesn't want to say it. so he spells it. hi everyone!! if you haven't had the pleasure of hearing your child spelling the word S-E-X while you're chatting with them, you're in for a treat. so i quickly respond with, "oh.. do you even know what that word means?" and blake goes, "NO! but it's in my dictionary at school." so then i asked what the dictionary said and he couldn't remember, but offered to run downstairs and grab it to tell me. UM, NO BLAKE. MOM'S NOT READY FOR THAT THANKS.

so now.. good god. stupid little heathens at school talking about sex and stupid stuff. i hate other kids. why can't blake stay in a bubble until i'm good and ready for him to get out of it?!

when did you have the sex talk with your child? and just how the hell did you do it? and then how did you answer the oh so obvious question that follows the talk- "so do you and *so and so* have sex?" because it's obvious that i can't really push the "you only have sex when you're married" angle because well- i was never married to blake's dad. and blake's not stupid. and he'll call me out on it. and then i'll just die.

i don't remember ever having a sex talk with my parents. did you have one with yours? what worked, and what didn't?! goodness sakes- i am SO not ready for this. but in all honesty, i don't think i ever would be.

the world of thank you cards

i'm curious... how many of you write and send thank you cards for every freaking thing?! and if you're one of those people who do- WHY do you do it? i'm trying to figure out if this is a regional thing... a how you're raised thing... personal preference, or what?!?!?

i'm not a thank you card writer. and it's not because i'm not thankful, but i find that i would much rather call the person and thank them, than send a card. i don't mean it to be disrespectful, or rude- i'm just not the card type. granted, there are certain things i will write thank you cards for (all wedding things included) but it's rare. and i don't make blake write them. but i do make him call people and thank them. or see them in person and thank them. am i raising a demon?

so i'm even more curious... do you expect thank you cards from people? do you get upset if you don't get one? do you think certain situations warrant thank you cards, and other situations do not? are you raising, or will you raise, your kids to write thank you cards for every damn thing?!?!

back from tahoe!

we went to tahoe this weekend with boyfriend's parents. stupid me, hadn't even thought to maybe ask them if they would like to see the place where their baby was getting married. seriously. it hadn't even occurred to me to ask. and part of it was that they never inquired either (plus it's not like the location is right around the corner or anything). if they had expressed an interest in seeing it, i would have been like, "oh my gosh, OF COURSE!!!!" it took my mom to mention having them up, for me to realize what a dumbass i am.

so we went up there with the mission of finding a place to have our rehearsal dinner. mission accomplished! it was cool, but exhausting. why is that driving from place to place, getting out of the car to look at it, then getting back in the car to drive to the next place, is so damn tiring?!?!? it doesn't make much sense, but it is.

we met with the new florist, who was super eccentric, but super helpful and we changed our cake design up a bit. all in all, it was a great weekend!! i actually think our cake won't be hideous anymore!!! not only will it taste good, it's going to look good too! (yes, this is different from what we originally thought. we figured it would be the best tasting cake in the world, but look awful) i liked the reception site about 50 times better too and realized that i haven't seen it since we booked it (which was a year ago). it's such a big place and with all the light that was streaming into it, i was happy. it didn't seem as dark as i remembered and it was a lot larger than i remembered as well. i love the design of it because you don't have to only sit at your table, like at most receptions. there is a full, real bar that you could hang out in, or there is a dancefloor/cocktail area. i love that you aren't glued to your chair at your table- unless you want to be. it's really open too and there are no doors, so you don't feel closed in. i dig it. glad we saw it again. and everyone approves. right on!

everything is awesome and coming along and i'm excited! now, if only the wedding was tomorrow- that would be the awesome-ist!!! :)

this cracks me up!

edited to add that i have no idea where this is from... someone posted it in my message board and i thought it was way too funny to not share!

i promise i won't be this bride

....just keep the scissors far, far away from me.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=10VmJ-8XGA4
ps- scroll fwd until the bride walks in the room

me + blog talk radio = ?

a few of you have emailed me asking when i'll go back on the radio.... the answer right now is simply "i don't know."

i was sick for a bit and had no voice, but then lately things have been so busy and out of control, i just can't seem to fit it in. i mean, i could- but i'm not sure how happy i'd be about it. i love love love radio more than i can tell you, but between work, planning the wedding, being a mom and a girlfriend, it's hard to add other things in. so until i'm mentally ready to be there and actually have a show worth having- i'm postponing it. i do love it when i'm doing it, it's just overwhelming right now. i feel really cramped for ANYTHING as it is. i can't even read blogs on a regular basis. seriously. i feel like i can't do much of anything outside of working and breathing (i even have to schedule the breathing part in). i guess the main thing is, the blog talk radio is really fun and i really enjoy it, but i don't want to feel like i "have" to do it. it's not like i get paid for it. it's purely a hobby, so i don't want the pressure of feeling like it's something i'm required to do. make sense?

i guess it kind of like blogging. blog when i want. radio show when i want. will definitely let you know when i start it up again. cause y'all better be listening and calling in. ya hear?

hey you, parent who sucks-

if i can offer one word of advice to any parent, it would be to FOLLOW THROUGH ON YOUR PUNISHMENTS!

blake spent the night at a friends house this past weekend. wait, let me rephrase that. blake attempted to spend the night at a friends house this past weekend. about 9:30pm he comes home totally crying, all red faced. i asked him what happened and apparently the boy punched him in the face 4 times, after kicking him in the stomach. i guess they were wrestling and the boy said that blake could do whatever he wanted to him. so blake wacked him in the back of the head a few times. the kid wanted him to stop, so they finally did. then out of nowhere (i guess they had been done wrestling for awhile) the kid kicked blake in the stomach. so blake wacked him in the back of the head again. the kid threw a remote control at blake and blake wacked him again. and that's when the kid socked him in the face- twice in each cheek.

this kid lives in our complex, so i went over to talk to the mom and she was most shocked that her son threw a remote at blake. i said, "that's what shocks you the most? that he threw something at blake? what about the fact that he punched him in the face?!?!?!" apparently that didn't shock her.

i sat there while she told her son that his behavior was unacceptable and that he was grounded and wouldn't be playing for at least a week, and the x-box, playstation were out of his room indefinitely. i was pleased. pleased in the sense that here was a parent who wasn't going to let that kind of behavior go unpunished.

then the next morning as i was leaving, i see the kid- skateboarding with other kids in the complex. nice grounding. way to follow through. when the mom waved at me, i gave her a fucked up dirty look. not because of what her kid did, but because she threatened him with all these things and didn't actually do them. he punched blake in the face, and there is no punishment? fine, i'm not that kids parent- but don't tell him he's grounded and then let him play the next day. parents are so fucking stupid sometimes. she's going to wonder why her perfectly nice kid has turned into an asshole. it just kills me what these parents teach their kids. if you say the kid is grounded, you have got to do it. you have got to follow through. otherwise, your kid will see through your bullshit and act accordingly. and you'll have no one to blame but yourself for their behavior. you have to mean what you say to kids. they need it. whether you feel "mean" for doing it or not- kids.need.discipline.

i love virginia belle

because she makes comments like this. and then i want to live by it. paste it everywhere. put it on a t-shirt. put it on my car. eat it for breakfast. make it my blog banner if it wasn't so freaking long.

"remember: you are MILF. you come from the tribe Cali-MILF. you are one of its people. from the land of Hotamama. never deny your heritage. it angers The Great One."

is it wrong to love her comments more than i love my own posts?

your body is a wonderland

you know the song by john mayer, right? well i'm listening to it in the car and blake goes, "why does he keep singing alice in wonderland???"

HAHAHHAA.. freaking alice in wonderland. the song will never be the same.

in other screwed up lyric news- boyfriend was singing "go heavy go.. go heavy go.." to justin timberlake's sexy back. i was like, wtf are you saying?? then i proceeded to tell him that justin says "go 'head be gone with it" and now he hates justin more than ever.

whine whine whine

i'm having fun... boyfriend disagrees. i think.

my cd is better than your cd

boyfriend and i are making "her version" "his version" cd's for wedding favors. the most fun thing about this is, we don't have to agree on a single, solitary song!

i can have a cd full of new kids on the block songs and he can't do a damn thing about it! HAHAHAHAHAHA! the thought of that alone makes me laugh so hard ... and the thought of actually doing it makes me laugh even harder. but then i remember that people will actually put the disc in their car to listen to it and.. well.. i guess i want these people to continue liking me. although if i did make a new kids cd, i'm sure people would understand. i mean, doesn't "hangin' tough" just ring with romance? yeah, i thought so too.

anyway, the cd thing is fun. having seperate ones is even funner. that's right, i said a pretend word. what'cha gonna do about it?

yes, it's after midnight.

i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.
i have a kid who does not sleep.

i.am.losing.my.mind.

DIY MADNESS!

diy = do.it.yourself.

this is an acronym that i learned from the knot. i've got lots of diy projects going on for the wedding. and yes, i'm STILL having fun with them all! my brain though, it hurts a little.

we're having cd favors that are also doubling as table assignments. so tonight i bought things to emboss (you stamp.. put powder on the stamp.. then heat the powder.. it puffs up and is SO cool) the cd case with. i was on stamp/powder duty and boyfriend was the dryer. it was so cute! i tried to take a picture of him being all domestic and diy'ey with me, but he wouldn't let me! so you'll have to settle with a picture of just what the hell i'm talking about. that's it! SO CUTE, HUH? just say yes!

friday=random

1. everything worked out with the reception place. she wrote me back saying she'd honor my original prices.. YAY!!!!
2. i love love love love love my photographer and really do not want a new one. she stays. i love her. she said she wants to shoot our wedding and i believe her. i will still worry, but that's just me being me.
3. the florist closing honestly makes me laugh. don't know why- i just think it's funny.
4. my brother in a speedo is not funny, however. as much as all you freaks and gay men (ahem, kevin) think you would like to see this pic- you wouldn't. trust me. my retina's are still burning.
5. between work and planning this wedding, i feel like i barely have time to breathe. work is absolutely insane lately. and only getting moreso. i haven't read any of your blogs. i want you to know that so you don't think i suddenly hate you, or think you aren't funny anymore, or wonder if you did something wrong. it's not you, it's me. hahahaha will read them all soon. and yes, i still love you.
6. puppies make me happy.
7. cold weather does not.
8. the end.

my wedding, it's breaking.. or something

i feel like everything is kind of coming apart at the seams.

our florist is closing shop. BEFORE the wedding.

i got an email from the place where we're having our ceremony and reception giving me an "estimate." obviously, she doesn't remember that she already gave me an estimate a year ago when i booked the place. and this new estimate was ridiculously more expensive. i'm fighting it. and i had better win. *growls*

then i got an email from our photographer telling me that she's pregnant. and she's due 3 weeks before our wedding. she says it isn't a problem and she's still going to shoot our wedding, but.... what if she can't? what if after having the baby, she's far more concerned about her boobs being so engorged and painful that she misses taking pictures of things?!

ugh. i love love love our photographer so much and i am so happy for them as a couple, but i'm worried. photos and video (once i book a videographer mind you) are going to be the only things i have left after that day is done. and i just don't want anything to fuck that up. i actually laughed when i heard our florist was closing. i'm not really worried about that. the reception place thing pissed me off, but i know i'll deal with that. but the photographer thing has pushed me over the edge to tears.

*deep breaths*

i know it will all be okay, but i guess it's just all 3 of those things right at once has caused me to um.. lose my shit a little.

my brother, the attention whore

my brother is obsessed with this blog. but he's only obsessed because he wants me to write about him every.single.day. he wants this to be a constant blog about my big brother jim. so much so, that he has sent me disturbing pictures of himself in a speedo. A SPEEDO PEOPLE! and the freak wants me to post them! *shudders*

first of all, after putting hot pokers in my eyeballs, i've decided that for the well being of everyone who reads and stumbles upon this blog, i cannot post the speedo picture. i just can't do it. but don't worry- he sent me a pic of him in spandex as well! and really, that's almost just as good.

we'll get back to your regularly scheduled programming (aka wedding talk) tomorrow!

ebay is my new best friend

seriously. y'all never told me. i mean, every dummy in america knows that ebay is the shit, but i'm just now realizing just how much!

i found a veil and a headpiece for $20 bucks each yesterday. TWENTY DOLLARS PEOPLE! i was going to get my veil made and it would have been $130 dollars. i rest easy knowing that if my ebay veil and headpiece totally suck, i won't really care because.. well... 40 bucks total isn't going to kill me.

so now i'm going crazy. party favors. shoes. disposable cameras. things i don't need, but now suddenly want because they're cheap. ebayyyyyyy. must.bid.on.something.

yes, i wear t-shirts

it's rare, but it happens. see???





and i figured i'd show y'all this gem as well since my brother was kind enough to email it to me.


yes folks, that's me... 3rd from the left. HAHAHHA! oh man. apparently it's from 1983, but i'm trying not to date myself. my brother is all pissy because i never blog about him. i told him that i never get to see him, so he gives me no material. hence, the above picture. hopefully boyfriend and i will get out to vegas and party with my brother and his wife fran (aka, aunt fun) and then i'll have lots to blog about! but until then big brother, this is what you get! HAHA!

a shopping tip, from jennster

when shopping for plain old t-shirts... go into the boys section. like, the young boys (i mean, like your kids section). they have so many fun shirts and most likely their large sizes will fit you! they're usually cheaper than women's shirts and if they're on sale, watch out!!!

can you tell blake and i just went shopping and i found tons of fun surf shirts in his section for me???

ps- i just realized that maybe this only works for me because i have no boobs. so if you actually have a chest worth writing home about, this tip might not work for you.

my head- it's not right

first, i have a dream where boyfriend's old co-workers had a hit put out on me. they all tried to gun me down one night, but somehow, i had my own gun. i killed them all except for 1 guy. so we're at this party with all the guys wives.. (you know, all the guys who wanted to murder me).. and i find out that 1 guy is still alive. so i'm freaking out thinking that he'll come to finish the job. so i tell boyfriend that they all tried to murder me one night and that he's going to come back and try to finish me off and boyfriend was all bad ass and goes, "oh no he won't. that's where i come in. you think i'd let someone kill you?"

it was dead sexy.

and in the spirit of bringing sexy back- the next dream was boyfriend and i at britney and kevin's house. kevin was there. he told me that britney wouldn't let him see his 3 other kids. and i was like, "what, you have three other kids?? i thought you only had 2???" then britney got pissed and reminded kevin that i was HER friend, not his, and pulled me away. we sat on the curb outside and talked about how kevin stopped writing her love letters.. and how she still loved him and she wanted him back, but she thinks it's for the wrong reasons. she said that her family was so happy once she announced her divorce, that she could never get back together with him based on that alone. she wouldn't want to disappoint them. she showed me all this paperwork with new song lyrics written on it, and notes from her manager and agents. and the old love letters from kevin. all the while, boyfriend and kevin were playing playstation in the house.

welcome to my subconscious... it sure is fun.

work is interferring with my life

my head. it's in the wedding. it's all about the wedding. i dream and think of things i can do for it. i've turned into one of those girls. the girl who would rather not be at work. the girl who would rather be at home- designing, printing, scheming, and doing things for the wedding.

seriously. but it's exciting! like i'm not overwhelmed anymore. now i'm just EXCITED!!!! like the true countdown is on. it turned 2007 and well.. it's the year of the wedding! and i can't wait! but really, i just want to design stuff. i want to plan and print and do things for the wedding and the wedding party! my head is consumed with thoughts on how to make it more fun and what i can do for everyone who is going to be there.

it's a sickness. and i swear i'd hate the person i'm becoming if it wasn't so damn fun and exciting. not to mention the fact that i'm only doing this one time. you don't get a do-over when it comes to your wedding day. all these little details that most people probably won't even notice- mean a lot to me. so i'm having fun thinking up new things that i can do and make! i wonder how annoying i am? don't answer that.

i heart the beach

i'm a beach girl. always have been. always will be. the mountains are okay in my book, but the beach is where it's at.

when i lived in san jose years ago, i discovered half moon bay. i don't even know how really, but it quickly became my most favorite place in all of northern california. when i needed to get away, i drove and spent time there. horseback riding ON the beach- that's where i was at. i loved that place.

living up here has been quite an adjustment. it still is. the weather is the hardest part to get used too, but it's actually been decent lately (knocks on wood). not having the beach around has been really hard. it's not like the coast is far, but it's cold up here- and the coast is even colder. i didn't realize just how difficult not having the beach around me has been until i went to half moon bay on a whim today. i literally cried when i saw the ocean. cried. i was driving, turned to my right- saw the beautiful ocean and the shore and the tears just started falling. i felt parts inside me just come to life. i could barely catch my breath. the beauty of it all just stunned me. i look at the beach and i just feel overjoyed. i want to live there. i want to wake up to that view every single morning. i want to hear those waves crashing every single night. i never feel that way in the mountains. fuck the mountains. i want the beach.

it's so different up here when it comes to the beach. it isn't a way of life, unless you literally live there. in southern california, the beach is a part of everything you do. it's a part of your life. it's a way of life for everyone and anyone, if they want it to be. and it's just not the same up here. granted, it's a hell of a lot colder on the coast here than it is back home- but still. and the beaches are different up here. which is probably why i like half moon bay so much- it's almost the closest thing to home. i miss my southern california beaches. i miss malibu. i miss the lifestyle. i miss going there for lunch and then going home. or watching the sunset and the moonrise over the ocean. i miss taking blake there every other weekend to watch the dolphins play. i just miss the beach. i need the beach. god i just love it.

here are some pics i took with my cell phone today. it was the only camera i had. if any of you have seen "american wedding" you might recognize the first picture. it's the hotel where they got married and stuff towards the end.

1 year ago today

i started this crazy thing.

and apparently, i liked to post.

because i made 3 posts on my first day.

word to your mom. now go make out with someone.