the post below about how i'm not a feminist was difficult for me to write. it was difficult because i rarely, if ever, see things in simple black and white. for me, it's always about the billion shades of gray that lie between. so in things like the post below, it genuinely is hard for me to take a solid and firm stand. i always feel like i'm writing and i want to interject with things like "well i only believe this way IF.. and i believe in this in this situation, but not if the situation was something like THIS..." know what i mean? so it's very difficult for me to convey everything i think and feel, because it is so relative. it is so situation inspired.
hell, maybe i am a feminist by basic definition. i've just never labeled myself one. and i've never wanted to label myself as one. you guys were right. you were so right on when you said that the word feminist has gotten a bad rap over the years. because i totally think it has. when i think of the word feminist, i don't want to be associated with it (and no, not in the "i am above you" kind of way... in more of the "i can't relate to your craziness" kind of way). i don't think the feminists of today, are anything like the feminists of our yesteryear. but i could be totally wrong (suebob- no more schooling. lol- smooch!). my grandmother was one of the first female principal's in a school in southern california. she's a freaking bad ass and i love her for it. that is the kind of strength that i admire. that's the stuff in my opinion, that is worth fighting for.
but when i think of the feminists today, i think of the extremists. i think of the women who have the attitude towards other women that you are either with us, or against us. the type of women who attempt to make you feel bad that you don't want to fight. the women who expect you to take a stand because they are. those women who feel that simply because you are a woman, you should be flying to DC to march on the capital. for what again? i'm all for fighting for a cause when it's something i believe in. you can get me riled up when it's something that's important to me. but to march for the sake of marching isn't really my style. but, i guess that's what all of this is right? maybe marching for the sake of marching is someone else's style. maybe that march is important to them. and that's why they do it. see, it's all relative. and i'm not trying to group all feminists together into 1 extremist lump. i don't think that everyone who considers themselves a feminist, is an extremist. i'm just pointing out that when i do think of the word feminist, my gut reaction is to associate it with an extreme person.
i think of the women who are like an ex-friend of mine. she was so extreme, closed minded, and judgemental- yet she constantly talked about how she was none of these things. she was always pissed off about something and could rarely have a civilized debate because every fucking thing got her so riled up. she called people on the other side of her fence names. anyone who didn't agree with her, or see things from her perspective was an idiot (among other things). she always had to be right. and she was a self proclaimed feminist. so i never wanted to be one of those. i never wanted to be associated with that way of thinking. that harsh, closed minded perspective isn't something that i can relate too. i'm far too fucking understanding. i see things from all sides. hence, more shades of gray.
i guess the bottom line is that i am not extreme anything (except extremely fun!!!). i always think that there is a middle ground to be found. a compromise. it may not make everyone happy, but it's a start. i don't think that going to extremes helps a cause. i think it makes the cause and the people less credible. but that's just my opinion. what's yours?
ps- i must admit that this post is totally straying from what i was even trying to say in my initial post below. all i meant was that i wasn't about women this, women that because i'm a woman. my post was simply meant to mean that i'm a who you are type of person, not a what you are type of person. carry on. lol
pps- writing this gave me a fucking headache. tomorrow, i'm writing about puppies and rainbows.. or justin timberlake! oh yeah!