i really really really really really really really want you. like, REAL BAD!!!!!!!! why do you have to be a $500 dollar vacuum?! WHY? because you're THAT good, that's why. i want you. even though you are like the freakiest looking vacuum on the face of this earth, i still want you. who else accepts you this way? you're ugly and weird, but i promise to love you for as long as you suck my carpets clean. yeah, my love has conditions. you suck well, i'll love you. you stop sucking, i stop loving. i'm all about fairness. come to mama.