Tuesday, January 31, 2006

note to self 2

but if you do turn into that person, at least make it entertaining.

note to self

weddings are ridiculously expensive. yours will be no exception. try not to turn into a bridezilla freakazoid and make everyone in your life hate you.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

tahoe showed me the love

there is nothing like the gratuitous self portrait in a lodge bathroom when you've had to pee for the last hour, stuck in traffic, on the way up to tahoe- with nowhere to go. that's me and katie! :)

tahoe was good to us girls! katie won money!

but it was especially good to me- like $400 dollars, i have to close my eyes for this picture, good!

it was cold and snowy but we found our wedding location, so it was an awesomely productive weekend! YAY!!!!!
so here's me and boyfriend! i threw this on here cause... well.. basically cause i think he's hot! rahr!

Friday, January 27, 2006

things i learned at lunch

first of all, i should have learned from the dooce chick not to blog about people from work- you only end up getting fired. but, i'm doing it anyways.
the things i learned at lunch today consists of the following:
  1. apparently all sperm are not created equal- they battle the other bad evil spermies from reaching our fabulous goddess of an egg *is anyone else picturing sperms with lightsabers*
  2. we are all pawns to the crows. apparently the little shits place nuts under our tires while the light is red, so that we'll crack them open for them with our cars when the light turns green. who knew?
  3. there are certain male actors that guys would turn gay for
  4. 4 people in this department have the same jacket
  5. half of us think you don't drop eggs while you take the pill, while the other half think you still do
  6. boys are just as excited to have and make babies as girls are

dear east coast

we're coming!!! oh yes, we're coming!! we're all booked for tray's wedding in NJ in may! (that's me and tray in jersey- yes, my eyes look all fucked up, quiet!) i can't wait to go! i've never been to NY with boyfriend before, so i'm all giddy and excited at the thought of it! what can i force him to do while we're there? what can i torture him with? where am i going to take him? what do i HAVE to share with him?! oh the possibilites are endless! and he wants to marry me.. crazy bastard! crazy, smart, bastard!
hopefully FO will be wearing this shirt when she picks us up at the airport-

i'm hungry now so i'm going to eat. cause i'm of those people that does that. i eat carbs too. just not a lot.

you look like a million chicken nuggets!

these wendy's commercials crack me the hell up!!!!! the one's for the 99cent value menu? have you seen them?!?! LMFAO! oh man... the girls are shopping for shoes and she is like, "I LOVE THESE SHOES!!!" and the other one looks at the price and says, "yeah, but they're 89 frosty's." HAHAHHAHAHA- am i the only one who finds this amusing?

and this link is just too odd & freaking funny to not pass along. LOL.. ps- not kid friendly


Wednesday, January 25, 2006

the ring- it's not just for wearing anymore

whenever i'm driving sam (that's my jeep) and the sun hits miss sparkles (that's my ring) just right, a million little dots of light splash across the roof of my car! it's SO freaking FUN!!!! so then i sit there, shaking and wiggling my hand while i'm driving, making all the little light balls flutter and dance around like crazy!! it's like having my own traveling disco ball! oh yeah!

he obviously gets this from me

blake got in trouble at school yesterday for playing "mercy" with other kids. blake was informed by his teacher that "if you do that again, you'll be suspended!" naturally, he freaked out. so last night he was talking to me about this incident (which he brought up on his own, mind you) and he said to me,
"mom.. it's okay to play mercy at the youth center, but it's not okay at school. and that's confusing because i don't know the rules."
in between beating him for being so stupid, i thanked him for being so smart. (this is sarcasm folks, don't get your panties in a wad) i just thought that was such an intelligent realization. and well, so fucking logical. whatever isn't okay at school, shouldn't be okay at after school care. my kid rocks. you know, when he's not trying to break other kids fingers off and stuff. "mercyyyyyyy!"

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

dear junk food

i love you.
the end.

blog surfing

i've been doing it. and you know what? everyone has a story to tell. i've come across some extremely emotional posts from guys, tragedies, weight loss, internal struggles, triumphs, fun posts, silly posts, amazing pictures, cute kids, cuter dogs, funny & witty people, and just downright honesty. it's been fun- blog surfing! there are some extremely talented people out there. if you have the time, you should click the NEXT BLOG button at the top right hand corner of my page- you never know.... heaven could be a mouse click away. or some pyscho who wants to chop you up into a million little pieces. but hey, you only live once right? *click*

signs of a good meal

putting jimmy in a food induced coma is all the proof i need of my superstardom in the kitchen.

Monday, January 23, 2006

it's the good stuff

matt asked the forum what the #1 thing that made you decide to be with the person you're with was? what an awesome question! you get to think about all the reasons you love your significant other, and decide which reason, is heads above the rest!! for me, the answer was easy. and it was clear. and it was this:
"the #1 thing??? it was something more than anything i can ever truly explain. from the moment we met, there was this connection that existed between us. i think above and beyond everything else that i love and adore about him, that connection is our core."

i hit post, and then pondered a moment. what we have is so rare- i thought to myself.. (actually, knowing me, i might have said it outloud). we are so blessed to have found this. and hell, i know i deserve it. but man- we truly are the lucky ones. so many people live their lives without this kind of love. others find it, lose it, let it go, or never find it at all. and then countless others settle. i'm just grateful i never allowed myself to. that is, until i see what HE says in response to that post! ha

comment nazi, that's me

if you have a blog, enable the freaking comments. why are you typing all this shit out everyday, for anyone to find, IF YOU DON'T WANT FEEDBACK?! comments make your blog better you selfish prick. enable them now. or fear my wrath.

so it might be good for something

i found an old friend on myspace last night! it was exciting because a bunch of us crazy chicks have been trying to find her for years! one quick search, and she was the first to pop up on my list. sheesh, that was easy. too easy. there's nothing quite like finding an old friend, with a picture of guys underwear on her head. the tighty whitey kind. now that's hot.

...even at 7

just because you're child isn't a baby anymore, that doesn't mean that bedtime is any easier. blake couldn't sleep last night.
"that's it- i'm just going to stay awake all night mom!!!!"
heaven forbid that I actually sleep, if he can't. nope. not happening. if blake can't sleep, i sure as shit don't get too either. so there i am- lying in his bed, scratching his back... rubbing his head... "i'm tired mom." well here's your first lesson in logic then son... GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!! if only it was that easy. it never is. about 12:44am, i finally got to drag myself out of his room and into my own, where boyfriend was sleeping soundly. ahhh, to be the mom.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

they love us, they really love us!

delphi's forum newsletter wrote an article about jenn's just have fun! it was cute, so i wanted to share!!!

Jenn likes to have fun!
by Moonbug™ (LittleLisa5)
It's true! She does. I read it on the internet. Here on Delphi none the less. So it must be true! You must know what I'm talking about. If not, take a peek into Jenn's Just Have Fun. Jenn and crew seem like they have had a lot of fun these past 5 yrs. Yep, that's right. It will be 5 years in March that Jenn opened her forum. And they are still giving away free coffee!

Over the past 5 years, Jenn has met many of her fellow Delphiers. She even has pics to prove it! There is this one guy she is with in a pic, firemantaco, where all us ladies only wish we were sitting in Jenn's seat. Except me. I'm not envious at all. Nope, not me. (I wonder if anyone is going to fall for that). Then let's not forget the pics of her, fo, spidey and tray. Guys, bring your bibs! I'm not even going to mention the noses on these girls. Nope. I'm not saying a word! You'll have to see for yourself.After snooping through all the pics (I admit, it was hard to leave that pic thread. Ok, so I did keep going back to that firemantaco dude. But only because he looked familiar. Yeah, that's it,) I took notice of their poll folder. I love polls! For some reason it's just fun to participate in polls. No wonder she calls it Jenn's Just Have Fun. They do fun things. Jenn and friends have a lot of interesting polls going on in there. They even have a poll about polls! I'm sure if I looked deeper, I'd find one about poles too.

People come and go online all the time. We all must have experienced folks that we hung out with and then eventually drift apart. Well at Jenn's Just Have Fun, it appears she has held onto her members for a long time. I found it pretty kewl that she took the time to go through and post to all her members announcing exactly how long they've been a member there. So many from back in 2001 are still there having fun. Does she spike the coffee, or is it her fun-loving personality? My guess, by the looks of the fun they have there, it's a mixture of both.

Jenn encourages all posters 18 years of age or older to join in on the fun. Especially if you're under the influence of alcohol. Nothing like making fun of a drunken poster! So when you get the time, take a peek into Jenn's Just Have Fun and give them a congrats on keeping their fun going for 5 years in Delphi land.

Congrats Jenn and Friends!

The above article copied from The Zone GazetteUsed with permission.

Friday, January 20, 2006

they're in my hair, i swear it!

i went into the kitchen and there were ants. all over the candy bowl. tons of em. why can't ants come in 1's? why do they have to travel with billions of friends? and guys give girls shit for going to the bathroom with 1 friend.. imagine if we were ants! so now i feel like they're all over me! my arms.. in my shirt.. i just keep scratching like a feen on crack (do crack feens scratch?). and whenever i get up i do that shakey thing- you know, to get the ants off my clothes... where my legs and arms are flailing around like crazy. i walked into my boss' office and just did this wretched shaking movement, which sent her into fits of laughter..
i can't really talk and answer while i'm fidgeting around like that. it takes effort to shake that way.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

it's the little things, people

like NOT telling me that cinnamon stick is now a fucking "seasonal" scent. what the hell is that? since when has cinnamon become seasonal?!?!?! is it really that hard to keep the candle scents i like out year round? it shouldn't be. just keep them stocked and i'll keep my sanity. no more cinnamon candles until the freaking birth of christ..... a little warning would have been nice! then i could have been a candle psycho who has 3,000,000 cinnamon stick candles in her house. that's not so wrong. i mean really. and WHY tease me with the mailer? oooooooooh jennster, we're having a sale! 12 votives or tarts for 12 bucks! you know how cheap that is!!!! don't you want some? oh, you want cinnamon stick? SORRY- SEASONAL!!!! *insert scary cackle here* the yankee candle gods hate me and i don't deserve it. this is enough to force me to eat cheesecake. a lot of it. curse you yankee candle!!!!! not only have you taken away my reason for sniffing constantly in my kitchen, you've now made me fat.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

yes, all these people ARE real

here's the type of stuff you're missing if you're not posting in jenn's just have fun!!

Hi. I'm Jennster. I am the jenn's just have FUN!!!! ;o) host.

You never showed me any hosting ways.

Be quiet. I am a gracious host.

I want to be a host.

Firemantaco, you are a semi-host. A quazi-host.

The Quazi-Host that Wouldn't Die ... film at noon!

If I can't be a regular host, I do not want to be a semi-host.

Hostess Ding Dong S'mores are delicious. http://www.twinkies.com/recipe_view.asp?rID=21

Russ, would you eat a Ding Dong Corndog?

Why must you all interrupt me while I am doing my 'host thing?'


I've always wanted to dissect a Ding Dong but I never have.

Jennster is a great host.


I'm Jennster.

She's the real host to my quazi-host.

The bush hiding host.

A smiling host.

Host: it's what's for dinner.



"Host" is an odd word.

I think "Rubbermaid" is an odd word.

Rubbermaid is the most filthy word ever!

Jennster has been "host" 'round here for almost 5 years.

It has to be a drain on her soul being the host...all that responsibility...

I drain her soul.

Watch yourself Lobster Andrew...or else...

Or else what?


Or else I will dissect you. Are the insides of Lobster Andrew red?

*runs away*

Dissect is an odd word.

S'mores anyone?


LOL- russ is talented. :)

time well wasted is right!

i was driving to work this morning and i started listening to brad paisley's latest cd. i haven't heard it in awhile, but it reminded me of when i first bought it. blake and i ran to target to get it and then ran just as quickly out to listen to it! half way through song #1 i had to stop the cd. this shit was TOO good to listen too without boyfriend. so i waited until i got home, put the cd in the stereo, and boyfriend and i sat on the couch and listened to the whole thing together- from start to finish. and that's what brad paisley's music is like. it's an experience. you can't listen to it alone. you want to share it with someone. you want someone else to feel everything you feel when you're listening to his songs. you run the gamete of emotions here people. one minute you're laughing so hard you have tears in your eyes.. and the next, those tears are for a different reason. it's rare that an artist/performer is that good. i can't remember ever being so moved by anyone before. at least not on a consistant basis. brad paisley is the shit people. take a big whiff.

who can resist lyrics like these?

Let's say I get bucked off a bull and fall and hit my head
And then I get amnesia and forget the things you said
I lose my better judgement and I take up smoking crack
Right then, that's when
I'll take you back
Go on keep trying
Come on keep calling
You know I like it
When you come crawling
Its like music
To hear you bawling
Waa, waa, waa, waa, waa

Monday, January 16, 2006

gamble with your own life, asshole

i drive a very dark, windy, mountainy, backroad, to and from work each day. we ALL do. there is no other way to get to work (depending on where you live, you might have literally, ONE other option- but still, same type of road). we all drive this road. all of us. and all we're trying to do is get home to our families after a long days work. or just get home, period.
i worked late tonight. on my way home i saw a car that had crashed into the side of the mountain. and i see my boss' car. and my boss outside. i pull over, get out and see if she's okay. she is, but she's pretty shaken up. one second earlier... or later.. and instead of crashing into the mountain on our side of the 2 lane road, he would have hit her head on. he could have hit her head on. make it a minute later, and that could have been me. it could have been ANY of us. any one of us. and all we're trying to do is get home from work. that time of the evening, i'm actually surprised he didn't hit someone. cause if someone is coming at you on that 2 lane road, there is nowhere for you to go. so there he was, bleeding pretty good from his head. half of his eye and cheek all swollen. he asked me if he looked okay and everyone kept telling me he was in shock. i actually felt bad for the guy. until he leaned towards me and said something and i got a whiff of his breath. OH.MY.GAWD. someone get me the fuck away from this guy, before I KILL HIM. the asshole was DRUNK. DRUNK. it wasn't even 6:30pm. on a dark, windy, mountain road. and he crashed on a straight part. who the hell does he think he is? if you want to take your own life into your hands- so be it. but how dare you drink, get behind the wheel, and have the potential to kill someone. he could have killed someone. he could have hit my boss. he could have hit my co-workers. he could have hit me. imagine the irony of finding my dead body in my jeep.. with my wedding dress in the back seat. i had to leave, because i had to stop myself from grabbing him, and shaking him and YELLING AT HIM. i wanted to ask him WHAT THE FUCK he was thinking. what the hell was he doing?! who is that stupid to not only drink and drive, but drink and ATTEMPT to drive on that road??!!!!!!!! who does he think he is to take all of our lives, in his hands?! i just.. i am so angry. SO ANGRY. it doesn't help that a drunk driver killed one of my friends. that never helps anything. except me actually hating drunk driving that much more... and the fucking idiotic assholes that attempt it.

i look HOT in white!

LOL.. THE WEDDING DRESS IS HERE!!!! it came in the mail.. to my work.. in this beat to hell box! i was like.. holy shit, MY DRESS IS IN THAT?!?!?! lol... but out i took it and .... *catches breath*.. it's beautiful!!! i am IN LOVE with the straps of the dress! that's it. just the straps. HA! the trippiest thing is.. there is a wedding dress hanging on the door behind me...... and IT'S MINE!!!!!!! i think i'm going to put it on and parade up and down the stairs at work! is that wrong?

Saturday, January 14, 2006

don't try this at home

we saw tristan & isolde today... it was good, i think. definitely not the best movie in the world, but i liked it. it was a bit choppy- they tried so hard just to introduce something that was important and relevant to the movie, but then they would quickly move on to the next scene... it left me wanting to scream "SLOW DOWN" at the screen. it felt rushed.
so we get home and i want be isolde and boyfriend gets to be tristan... but boyfriend said the movie wasn't good enough to play at home. hmph

yellow & blue makes green!

boyfriend is afraid of the blue water in the toilet bowl. i put one of those things in that makes the water blue and erases the nasties boys try to leave behind in there. everytime he pees he freaks out. he says it's like peeing in punch bowl.

Friday, January 13, 2006

so fucking influential

you can read my bitch and rant here about dj's who suck (among other things)... and 1 dj in particular who does a show in LA, and coincidentally one in SF too!!! listen. if you don't live here, then don't dj on the station. it's a fucking lie and a joke and i hate it.
well here's the latest on that:

All Access:
Lara Scott Gives Up KIOI Afternoon Duties CLEAR CHANNEL Hot
AC KYSR (STAR 98.7)/LOS ANGELES midday star LARA SCOTT is relinquishing her
afternoon voicetracking duties at sister Hot AC KIOI (STAR 101.3)/SAN FRANCISCO.

i will take full credit for this happening. i post the blog bitching about her being a fraud, she stops taping the show up here! now if only clear channel would die and take walmart with it, i'd be in heaven.

go for the grease!

my hair needs to be washed. it's greasy. but it looks fucking hot! suddenly, i have all these highlights and lowlights throughout my head! who knew there were so many cool colors? people pay good money to do this shit to their hair. maybe they should just stop washing it? i may never wash it again! i wonder what other cool tricks it can do?

a little junk in the trunk never hurt anyone

what is it with skinny girls? and not normal girls.. i mean, ridiculously thin girls? here's a fucking memo out to all of you, in case you didn't get it before. you don't look hot. there is nothing hot about being stick thin. having no meat on your bones, isn't sexy. it's fucking gross. weighing less than you did in high school when you're in your 30's, is possibly disturbing (there are exceptions to this). looking in the mirror, and never being thin enough- isn't a turn on. chew on that for awhile. and no, you can't puke it up later.

25 signs you've grown up

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP (thanks melissa for sending this to me)

  1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
  2. Having +sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (i'm sorry, but if i had too- i could dammit! i might bitch the whole time, but we'd get the job done!)
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. (this is definitely questionable.. granted there is more food, but beer is a for sure close second)
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (so sad.. so true)
  5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. (ewww! bullshit!)
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. (only a loser who didn't have to work to pay to live ever had 130 days of vacation!! well, unless we're talking about when we were like 9 years old and stuff!)
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." (but i look cute in jeans and a sweater)
  10. You're the one calling the police because those #@$%&*) kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling -sex- jokes around you. (please make this never be true)
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. (HA! i don't think i ever knew what time taco bell closed. i thought it was open 24 hours for her ster-ness!)
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. (yeah, well. it's a fair trade.)
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. (thanks for reminding me that i don't have a dog! *cries puppy wanting tears*)
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. (you obviously don't have my couch!)
  16. You take naps. (naps are the idea of true goddesses. naps RULE!)
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. (this one is so true it's pissing me off. i feel jipped!)
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your
    stomach. (gross! who wants chicken wings at 3am??? pizza is the true after dancing meal!)
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. (liar! i go for kids medicine)
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." (bullshit! a $4 bottle of wine was never good stuff.. it was just cheap stuff)
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. (LOL! i have a message board, a website, and this blog.. you decide!)
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. (this is wrong, how??)
  25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S-!- what the hell happened?"
  26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and
    can't find one to save your sorry old butt. (wrong again, old man)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

nighttime lovin

"why are you wearing a t-shirt to bed???"

"um... i was cold?"

"liar! take it off!"

"but i'm shy."

"take off the shirt, fucker!"

duck soup

driving to work this morning, i found myself cracking up as i was completely stopped...... in the middle of the road.... waiting for the line of 15 or so ducks to waddle their feathery asses across the street. why do they walk one behind the other? like heaven forbid if one rebels and starts walking NEXT to another duck. they would probably lose it and get all scuttle butty. *quack* what are you doing?!?!*quack*
but yeah. there i was. stopped for ducks. do people stop for ducks anymore? can i put that on my resume? WILL STOP FOR DUCKS

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

cheaters suck

so besides toots & becky.. i think i'm the only one who actually watches the show One Tree Hill. and every week, IT KILLS ME. you see, 2 of the show's stars (sophia bush & chad michael murray) used to date. here they are.

i love them.. well, i used to. i thought they were the cutest couple ever. and every picture of them, looked like the one you see here. all lovey dovey.. looking at eachother in that way... and they are both gorgeous. they just seemed SO perfect for eachother. and SO happy. i read so many things about sophia loving chad because he was such a stand up guy.. and how he hated when girls would hit on him, especially when they knew he was taken. so they got married- see?

perfection right? man... well then the news breaks, no less than 5 months after marrying... chad cheated the whole time. before they were married. when they were engaged. after they got married. fucking pig. what is with guys!?!?! is it really that hard to be faithful? i mean, SERIOUSLY. how could he do that? the part that sucks so much is that he was the exact opposite of all that she thought he was. she thought he was a stand up guy, but he wasn't. she thought he was the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with, but he wasn't. she thought she was the only one for him- but she wasn't. and it breaks my heart. because week after week, they play boyfriend & girlfriend on the show. and their storyline mirrors their real life relationship, with minor adjustments. sophia's character is the one who cheated on the show. but the lines they have to say to eachother. the way they fight to get eachother back. it is heartbreaking. to know their offscreen story and have to watch the onscreen one............ it hurts my heart for sophia. she didn't deserve to have her prince charming be the frog. and i don't know how she does it.. how she works with him and has to pretend that she wants him to hold her hand.. and she has to kiss him, look at him, interact LOVINGLY with him. it must make her cringe on the inside. it makes me cringe for her. it just sucks. at least for most of us, when someone fucks up and cheats- you don't have to go to work each day and makeout with them. she rocks for being so strong. he sucks for being a typical shithead male.

denial.. it aint just a river

now lindsay lohan is denying the vanity fair article where she admitted to be a coke whoring puker face. fine, she never said she did coke. but now it's all a lie. and not true. and misconstrued. shutup you stupid lying skinny bitch and eat something!

other people's farts stink like ass

"smell it!"

*wafts covers*

"but it smells like roses."

"yeah, roses dipped in shit!"

boys and the "tuck in"

do guys go to "tuck in" school before they're born?!? i swear, guys are like the best tucker inner's ever. my dad used to tuck me in bed so tight i was sure i'd die if i had to get out in a hurry. it would take serious effort to free my feet from the constraints of the dad tuck in! now boyfriend too! before he leaves for work, he gives me a little tuck.... it's all tight fitting and perfect. i swear. boys do the perfect tucks!!
this message sounds nasty. lol

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

tristan & isolde

i am going to see this movie. we have free movies every saturday, and this is this weekend's movie. i want to see it. because i am a pathetic, romantic fool. and it looks super romantic, mixed with some serious action and whacking scenes (for the boys of course). james franco looks like tara's fiance. you hear that tara? your fiance IS tristan. lol
i wonder if i can get boyfriend to see this flick with me? maybe i should emphasize on the killing parts, and less on the smooshy romantic parts?! hmmmmm..
"there is A LOT of killing in this movie!!"

"not enough."
but i really love the one scene in the previews where she's sailing on the water in her bridal outfit on a canoe, or something.. omg, it's so stunning and so beautiful! the whole scene is just stunning. and then when she says, "i want to know that there's more to this life... and i can't know that if they kill you." *swoon*.. and the music.. omg the music sounds incredible!!!!
god- i'm SUCH a girl.

Monday, January 09, 2006

girl scout crack!

it's that time of year... the crack cookies are here!!! why can't i ever resist them?! WHY???? i dream of thin mints in my freezer year round! and samoas! *drools* i have this thing about freezing snacks. i love to freeze everything!!! butterfingers.. hostesss cupcakes.. girl scout crack cookies...

great, i just gained 10 pounds writing this post.

no pressure

blake: when are you going to have a baby? cause i don't want to be like 12 or 13 when you have one.

me: why not?

blake: cause i'll be in high school then and i won't want one.

me: *laughing*.. you'll probably be like 10 or so.

blake: okay, that sounds good.

here's the kid who wants to name his little brother "cockroach" or his little sister "banana split."

i'm thinking we have a future businessman here.. he's going to pimp out his siblings.

random thoughts

  • i am funnier in real life than i am in this fucking blog. i swear it.
  • people's comments crack me up- more than the post itself does.
  • i am wearing a shirt from daisy that says "hot monkey love" and that alone makes me laugh. what the hell is hot monkey love anyways?! and, can i watch?!
  • alison (my best friend since high school) is CONVINCED that i had one of those disgustingly horrifying cabbage patch things. ALI- I DID NOT HAVE ONE. who wants one of these things?! they are hideous! and you are a freak. move, pronto.

  • i have realized that no matter how hard i try, i'll never be as funny as that dooce chick. she cracks me up... when i remember about her blog and actually read it. you like blogs? go there.. she's a good time all in 1 page (and archives)..
  • i make the guys in the office nervous, and that makes me laugh
  • i laugh a lot.
  • sometimes i wish that little speak balloons would pop up beside my head when i'm talking shit to myself.
  • half the time, i should probably thank the goddess that they don't.
  • i didn't go to target all weekend (or all week for that matter)... which leads me to believe that something is wrong with me.
  • pink got married... oooh, her ring is pretty!!!
  • hillary swank and chad lowe are seperating. what is wrong with everyone?
  • will nick and jessica ever get back together? selling their house doesn't sound like the first step back to togetherness, does it?
  • i want a dyson vacuum in a sick way. but can someone tell me why a vac is almost $600 dollars?! seriously. for that much money the thing better last until i die and serve me breakfast every morning.
  • oooh... food.

the wedding dress

yes folks.. the discontinued dress WILL BE MINE! i am super excited! not that anything else is even remotely close to being done for this wedding. seriously, who the hell buys their dress before they've planned anything else?!! someone freaky, that's who. and that freak is none other than.. well, me. i'll wear that damn dress in the street if i have to! lol..
so it's coming from georgia. awww, i always wanted to be a southern belle! i can pretend! "i'm not from the south, but my dress is!!!" so i am having it sent to work. do you think it would be fa-reaky if i paraded around all day in my wedding dress when it arrives? i can sashay from floor to floor. ooh, i wonder what i'll name my dress! i mean really, i name everything else (my jeep is named sam.. my cell phone is charlie), the dress should have a name. what's a good southern name? then i can refer to her like she's a person and that will make me laugh. and really folks, my own entertainment is all that really matters here.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

HA! i am the best haircutter in the world!

hear me buzz with my clippers! bzzzzzz! seriously, i am so lucky to have a man who doesn't freak out when i start cracking up while cutting his hair! if i was cutting a girls hair and i started laughing my ass off, she would freak out! cause she would know that i just did something momumentally screwed up to her luscious locks. you know, cut off 1 foot instead of inch. she'd probably cry at the sound of my, "OH SHIT!"... lord knows i would. but not boyfriend. whenever i mutter, "uh oh" while i'm cutting his hair- he just goes, "what? what'd you do?" all nice and calm. and then the laughter starts. mine that is. the kind that won't stop because i just cut his hair so freaking short on accident. "oops, i used the triple 0, instead of the 2. and is the triple 0 worse than the regular 0???" and i'm just laughing hysterically because he now has no hair and i've gone way too far up on his head to try to fix it! there's nothing i can do but cut his whole head this way! but does he care? no! he could give a shit! which makes me laugh even more, cause no matter how badly i screw up his hair, he never cares.

"haven't you learned by now with me?"

"learned what?"

"that my hair grows back."

Friday, January 06, 2006

living in sin

so i freak out when he asks.. f bombs dropping left and right.. freak out mentally about having to wear this announcement on my finger everyday.. so how do you think i handled moving in together?!? beautifully, fyvm. :) it's so funny the shit you freak out about and the then things you don't worry about at all. i think everyone else was worried enough for me. "do you think you'll get sick of him?" i mean, granted.. we had dated long distance for a year and a half... the longest amount of time we'd spent together was a whopping 4 days straight i think. maybe 5 if you count half days? but living together has kicked ass so far! of course there are days i want to whack him with a frying pan. just like i'm sure he'd like to smother me in my sleep some nights (i am SO making him put that in his vows.. "i promise not to whack jennster in her sleep, or otherwise, no matter how much i might want too.") romance at its finest here folks. but sincerely. it's been an amazing process and i feel so blessed that i get to come home everynight to my hunk of man meat (who is usually making us all dinner). he really does rock! and... it doesn't hurt that he's super hot.

the things you never got for xmas

but always wanted. you know, back when you made lists and it was always on there, year after year? #1 for me was always, without fail, a horse. who cares that i didn't a place to keep one? who thinks about those technicalities when you're a kid?! i would have shared my bedroom with the damn thing had my parents let me! i don't see a problem here. food? yeah yeah.. we have grass in the backyard. eat up horsie.

the little things

like my 7 year old being able to read, and read WELL. when last year he was struggling so badly and crying everynight when he had to read cause he hated it so much. i've learned with blake that things happen on HIS time. not on anyone else's. he isn't a fluent reader in the first grade because you want him to be. because he's "supposed" to be. doesn't work that way with him. when he's ready, everything just clicks. comes together naturally and then he's a rockstar at it. i'm so proud of him. reading "captain underpants" books in his bed at night. it's the coolest thing to sit there and listen to him sound out these big words and say them wrong the first time, but then quickly figure out what word they're supposed to be and say them right. listening to your child read. it's the coolest.


i like to move my feet when i'm laying in bed. you know, like quick little movements back and forth. just cause it's fun i think. don't really know whyyyyy.
"what are you doing? making a bed angel????"
yeah smart ass.. maybe i am.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

brokeback..britney & radio dj's who suck

this post might get long.
don't say i didn't warn you.
brokeback mountain. seriously here people. nominated for this many awards why (talking SAG awards, which is just the beginning to the other 2)???? because it's a type of movie that no one has done before? fine, recognize that- but don't nominate it just for the sake of nominating something "different." the movie wasn't even that good. let's get serious here. between heath's mumbling for the first half of the movie and his character who barely says anything worth listening too, and jake's character being the "manlier" of the 2... it was hard to believe there was any connection between them at all. at least not in the beginning. nothing that warranted, IN THE FREAKING SLIGHTEST, that the 2 of them should get it on inside a tent one night. i was like, where the hell did this come from?!?!?!? i mean, at least make it believable. "hi i'm heath. bend over so i can give you some!" "um, okay sure!!" yeah. now don't get me wrong, i didn't completely despise this movie. i just wanted it to be better. i really wanted to feel their conflict. i really wanted to hope for them, and pull for them, and feel their angst between the lives they "are supposed" to be living, and the lives they wanted to be living. but i just didn't. at least not enough. so let's kick back on the ridiculous amount of nominations and actual awards they win this year folks.. it's just NOT that good of a movie. it's just different and a little balsy. har har.

britney. i want to scoop her up and smack her upside the head. i mean, her life has gone downhill since her and justin broke up. yes, i'm talking about britney spears, and i will talk about her dammit. why? cause i can, and cause i wanna! it was one thing when she started dating this fucking crooked hat, dresses like an idiot, guy... but it was quite another when she actually went and let him marry her *ick*... and i'm surprised the world did not stop spinning the day she actually breeded with him. WHAT IS SHE THINKING?!?! i want her to dump him. yesterday. but i'll settle for tomorrow. this guy is such a fucking loser. who the fuck sings a song and calls it POPO ZAO? what the hell is popo zao? he is just a poor excuse for anything. except maybe a backup dancer. oh wait, that IS what he is. he just seems like a real shithead. granted, he could be super nice and a great and loving husband.. but i saw britney & kevin.. i know better. he's just a freaking punkass who got lucky, and britney was just lonely. advice for britney? DUMP KEVIN and go get justin back! the world will be a happy place! i think i would even through a party.

radio dj's. who suck. do they know they suck? i mean, honestly. do they realize that they aren't funny? aren't entertaining? and have AWFUL voices? i lived in los angeles and the dj's were decent. except for jaime, who is the most annoying female dj in the world. i wish she would choke on something on the air. that would get her to shut up for 5 minutes or so. she is the epitome of white trash and she is an embarassment to females everywhere. and her cackle. my god, i can't even call it a laugh, cause laughs are cute. laughs are fun to listen too. but hers is HORRID. whenever she would laugh, i would cry. it was painful. and this is literally from the handful of times i listened to her because she repulsed me so much, i could not freaking deal. how do people like that stay on the air?!? go away sucky female dj. you taint my airwaves. and not in a good way.
well i moved up north to the san francisco area.. i miss kevin & bean and kroq something fierce i'll tell you that! i didn't realize that the # 2 radio market in the country COULD SUCK SO BADLY!!!!!!! every station out here has THE WORST music programming. they play shit constantly from the 80's.. and by the time i hear something "new" it's been in LA for months. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!! it's kind of a sad day when i say that the best station in northern california is radio disney. this is no joke. i find myself listening to that the most. and this is without my 7 year old in the car, thank you very much!!! so yeah... the music sucks, the stations suck, and the morning dj's are fucking horrid! HOW DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE JOBS?!?!?!?!?!?!! i don't get it. they aren't funny. they are annoying. and they suck. i want to laugh in the mornings. i really do. and it isn't that hard to make me laugh. you know, just be funny. but instead of laughing, i find myself cursing their existance and their constant suckiness! it infuriates me because my background is in radio and dammit, i'm good at it. i think i'd be far more entertaining than ANY of the dj's out here. that's right. you heard me. i'm fucking funnier.
another thing that pisses me off. a girl who is a dj in LA for the afternoons (cough*lara scott*cough), also just happens to be a dj out here in the afternoons! how can she do that you ask? well she tapes her show for up here in la. although you're not supposed to know, so shhhhhh. i hate that shit. what a joke and a lie and it's all clear channels fault. they do this with dj's all over the country. 1 dj taping 5 shows in different states, etc. and you aren't supposed to know. how personal. what a crock of SHIT. the death of radio will be clear channel. mark my words. fuckers. i hate them.
this is me. being better than them. see

this blog stuff is fun

but i get obsessed with wanting to decorate it JUST RIGHT.. you know, so that my blog is... well.. me. you know? since i run a forum, have a website, and a dumb myspace- i like all things jennster, to be jennster. hence, i like to design everything myself. but i'm getting frustrated with this blog one. things aren't turning out exactly right. and it's pissing me off. i like perfection.. i notice all detail flaws.. after all, i AM a virgo. argh. SO. i might resort to using templates that other people made *insert horrified screams here*... i'll let you know. well, you'll probably know, cause well- they'll look prettier. lol

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

omgosh, she's bulimic?!??!

*end fake shocked voice here*
lindsay lohan finally admitted to the world what the world has already known.... that she's been forcing herself to puke after eating (okay so maybe we didn't know exactly that.. i mean, she could have always just stopped eating- that was my other guess). well, that or coke. i mean, who hasn't wanted to start doing coke diet for a couple weeks to lose weight? lol
anyways, it was refreshing to see someone successful in young hollywood who wasn't stick thin. refreshing in a way that it puts less pressure on other people- it gives young girls a healthier self image- and not to mention the fact that she was freaking adorable!! i'm not downplaying the pressures of hollywood, cause i know they're there. but this is when you have to be the stronger person. you have to fight back. hopefully she'll do that. hollywood is a brutal business. it really is.
my advice to lindsay.. start eating again, put your hair back to its normal freaking color, and talk about it, instead of denying it or closing up. or you can do what russ suggests:
"she needs to have about 5 rubens a day to bulk up
her whisper thinness disturbs
if I could,
I would shove rolls down her throat
she drives a lot
is in car accidents a lot
why can't she go to the drive thru?"

miner heartbreak

i was so incredibly happy last night when i heard on the news that 12 of the 13 miners were found alive! what a miracle! i actually went to sleep feeling so happy for all of those families, and so sad for the 1. and then i woke up this morning to the exact opposite. that 12 of the 13 were dead. how heartbreaking. i'm not here to place blame- cause i wasn't there. but me being me, i immediately put myself in that position. being there and feeling the overwhelming joy of thinking your loved one is okay..... and learning that he never was. talk about a fucking rollercoaster of emotions. my heart goes out to that town, community, and every person affected by the loss of those 12 guys. and i hope that the sole survivor does just that... survives. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}
here's a link to the miner's profiles.. little tidbits about who they were. i think it's important. we couldn't know them in life, we can learn a little about them in death. http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/01/04/miners.bios.ap/index.html

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

who he'll love more

i know i'm a total freak for thinking this. especially when i already have a son and i KNOW how it is. i mean, i love blake in a way i couldn't love chris. because it's a different kind of love. and i love chris in a way i could never love blake, for the same reasons. but i love them both immensely. and my heart would break without either one of them. but i freak out at the thought of having a little girl.
chris and i were talking about this the other day. i was teasing him, telling him he's having a girl and to get used to the idea! and then he was like, "i will die!" and i said, "you will be wrapped around her little finger!!" and he was like, "I KNOW!!! it will kill me!!!" and then i was like.. ah shit. he's going to stop loving me, because he'll love this little girl more! LOL.. so i asked him. and when i ask him stupid shit, he loves to torment me for his own pleasure with crappy answers. so he said, "there's only room in my heart for 1 girl- so you'd better give me a boy!" know i NOW he's joking. BUT STILL!
so i asked the forum if he'd stop loving me. or love me less. or love me different than he loves her- all with the bottom line of being loved less than the unborn child we're talking about who isn't even here yet, or on the way, or anything... and the consensus is that i'm crazy. LOL well i already know this! i mean, i realize this is completely irrational, but still. i just am so thankful and appreciative that i've found this man who loves me the way that he does. it's what i've always wanted in my life. and i just love him so much and so deeply that words often fail me. so the thought of being "replaced" makes me sad. i know a child doesn't replace the mother, BUT STILL! i am freaking out here people! F R E A K I N G O U T!!!!! and then there was becky's post. she posted that her daughter tells her "that's MY daddy! get off!" whenever she's hugging her husband! LOL i can't have competition in my own household! oh man, this is what my life is headed towards. at least i'll always have blake- that is, until he likes his little sister more than me. poor little unborn girl.
my favorite response in the forum however, was from toots... she said the following:
"I'm sure many women think that way..it will NOT make him love you less..he'll love you more. You'll just have to wait and see..it's too damn hard to explain and convince someone..you have to experience it..try not to worry about it..cuz you're a freak and you're crazy and you're wrong. "

the things girls never tell you, part 2

about being engaged.... that all of a sudden you have this BILLBOARD on your finger, announcing that you are no longer single, available, and "he" is no longer just your boyfriend. it's a weird mental thing really. maybe partly because i took mass transit and was around a bunch of random people daily and maybe partly because i'm insane. lol i mean, this random guy came up to me on the train platform the monday after i came back and was like, "whoa! where'd the ring come from? you weren't wearing that on friday! on friday you just had a boyfriend!" yeah. on friday i just had a boyfriend. and it was weird! the ring is like this big, sparkling, super announcement that you can't control. well, unless you take it off and stuff it in your pocket. but let's get serious, who the hell wants to do that?! it is an ANNOUNCEMENT! it screams, "welcome to engaged r'us" at anyone who dares to look at it! i mean, all of a sudden i have this fucking sign on my finger that tells total strangers that I AM TAKEN! DO NOT APPROACH! it's weird. really. but you know why women don't tell other women about the mental change you have to adapt too when you first start wearing your ring billboard? because.. well.. maybe no other women feel this way. i think it's just me. welcome to the freakness that is jenn.

Monday, January 02, 2006

the things girls never tell you, part 1

about getting engaged. no one ever says how simply TERRIFYING it is. i'm here to be that girl. it is SCARY! i mean, lose your breath, feeling like you're going to puke your guts out, "what the hell are you doing", scary! but no one ever tells you that part. at least, not the girls! they all gush and get giggly about how sweet it all is... how perfect and romantic.. know what i think? i think EVERY SINGLE girl who says that shit, KNEW it was coming! if you know he's going to ask, then it's probably not as scary. probably not as anything really. but for me, i had absolutely NO clue that he was going to get down on one knee *vomits* and pop the question. good lord, even thinking about it now makes me nauseous. i know, i'm SO romantic. lol but seriously!!!! seeing my 6'3 boyfriend down on 1 knee.. i mean, when normally i have to look UP to see him.. turning around, looking up, and then realizing that i have to look DOWN, because he is DOWN there.. on the ground.. on 1 knee.. holding SOMETHING in his big hands... i mean, it's NOT RIGHT! lol and leave it to me to drop the f bomb at a time like this. "this is not a fucking funny joke!!" it is horrifyingly (i like to make up words) nauseating. simply put. there is nothing quite as scary as having to look down at the man you normally have to look up to see. and as honestly romantic as it all was (cause it truly was swoon worthy)... i will never forget how i felt when i turned around to look up, and had to look down.

here is the sneaky bastard before
we got on the ferry to head back to the city so he could do the deed...you know, make me want to puke. and here i am- totally clueless, eating ice cream and wearing TENNIS SHOES (those of you who know me, know how rare this is!!) he didn't act weird or anything all day long- although his friends think he looks scared in this pic! and now that i look at it, i think he kind of does too! lol