no seriously. like now that we've left the restaurant, i think she's sitting back there- crying. like real tears. cause apparently,
i.am.one.offensive.bitch.a few of us went out to dinner the other evening. we got a somewhat sassy little waitress who was trying to be cute and cool. she failed however, because she was neither. when i asked her if i could get some more water, she replied with, "oh hell yeah!" so basically i figured that she was fun! i figured i could play with her and she wouldn't get offended or freak out. damn my spidey senses were
SO off with this one.
i ordered a salad (i wasn't hungry people, don't get all dinner nazi on me) and she asked me if i was allergic to nuts because even though it doesn't list nuts in the ingredients, there are nuts in the salad. i let her know to pile em on, i'm a nut freak- she laughed and was like "right on" (okay she might not have actually said
"right on," but that was her vibe).
we get our food and i notice there are no nuts on my salad. she built up the damn nuts and now there are none. so i was laughing and i said, "there are no nuts in this salad, you lyin' whore." right then her eyes got really big and she stepped back, stopped smiling and walked away. then she practically ran over to the bar where she started talking to every other person that worked there. jimmy and boyfriend both informed me that she was highly offended and that she wasn't laughing and that i should apologize. first of all, i got defensive because i was KIDDING AROUND and secondly, i felt like an asshole and jimmy and boyfriend were making me feel worse. the last thing i need when i've done something stupid is to have it pointed out. and continually pointed out. and then repeated again.
so i'm in shock thinking she can't really be upset. can she? i was totally kidding. so i called her a whore. i call everyone whores. and i figure that she must be this upset because she actually IS a whore. and then i think she should consider herself lucky because she isn't that cute, so if she really is a whore- then good for her. whores have more fun, eh? apparently not this one.
so now she won't come near our table. she walks the long way around- all the way around the restaurant to get to the table next to us and walks the long way back just so that she doesn't have to pass us. so i'm realizing that she really is offended. so i tell everyone i'll fix it, because that's what i do. i'll apologize and all will be well. she can't be mad if she knows i was kidding, right? right? wrong.
i walked to the back of the restaurant where she was talking to the cooks and her eyes almost bulged out of her head when she saw me coming towards her. i asked her if she was seriously upset about this and she looked at me dumbfounded. i informed her that i was completely and 100% joking around.. and how she can talk to me all
"hells yeah" when i ask for water, but i can't joke around with her? and then a conversation somewhat like this happened:
whore: "you called me a whore!!!!!!"ster: "i was totally kidding! i call all my friends whores! i call everyone whores! like, what's going on whore?! like that!"whore: "but you said i was a whore! i don't think that's funny."ster: "um, i don't even know you, so you realize this wasn't personal right? like i wasn't REALLY calling you a whore?!! i was just fucking around."whore: "whatever."so basically, she was an unreceptive bitch to my apology. now i was pissed off and feeling bad. she didn't wait on us anymore. she made someone take over our table because she was that upset and refused to face me. i can't make this shit up.so everyone- let this be a warning to you.. i make people cry. random people. strangers. everyone going to blogher- if i call you a whore, take it as a compliment- it means i think you're actually fun enough to handle it. but the new inside joke in sterland is- if you call me a whore, i'm going to cry. because apparently being a whore is not funny! or fun! *runs off crying non-whorish tears*Labels: ster
You can call me a whore anytimme, whore! lol!
~laughing my sorry ass off~
now i think im offended cuz youve never called me a whore ... God my feelings are hurt ! no dont apologize now its too fucking late
*sigh*
But then again she may have been going for the guilt tip!
But c'mon ladies, we've taken back the word slut, let's own our whoriness!
Lisa
You and I would get on very well....
WHORE!
Jennster - Bringin down one whore at a time!
Ya know.....Whores have feelings TOO!
i think that by evening she is a waitress, but by night she is a true and bonafide whore. i think its her secret she is hiding about how big a whore she is and really doesn't get paid well cause she sucks at it and has to do the waitress gig on the side to supplement her income.
and you found out her secret.
your whoring friend,
m
By the way, I tagged you for a MeMe. Don't hate me...
You whore.
Personally, I would have called her a bitch. She probably would have been okay with that.
You poor thing. Don't worry about it anymore, Miss Lady. Obvs. this girl has no sense of humor, and also? Doesn't know how to gracefully accept an explanation/apology.
You can call me a whore anytime you want to. :)
speaking of whore, I've been reading alot of random blogs and i think you are on ALL of them
helllo
I'll prbably be yelled at but.....
Seriously, whore is probably crosses a certain line. I'm certain many of you here would NOT be very appreciative, to be called a whore(or slut or bitch or pick something you be offended by) at your work enviroment.....apology or no afterwards.
Some things you can joke about within your own circle(you know the friends you can call ANYTHING and still laugh), but complete strangers?
She might have been crazy, but you're wrong.
Whore. *LOL*
That's hysterical.
CP
Also - must've hit a leetol too close to home.
Here from Amalah cause I had to read your story!
Jealousy has made me hate all of you going to Blogher.
Well, I'll be your whore any day and I'll wear my sluty title with honor. What a compliment.
Her reaction is understandable, but her total unwillingness to accept an apology is not.
WHy should she? Being a waitress is a sucky job, frankly, and dealing with crappy customers all the time. You cant make someone not feel insulted, and frankly she should have.
so that was an appology?...
You are sepcial.
Maybe you should have asked her if mean-stupid-fucking-slut-from-hell would have been more appropriate? ;)
Maybe she was just sad that she was a unattractive whore.
But I have to say that I am crying right now...
Because you said the word "whore" one too many times. ;)
But the bigger question should be...
Did you leave her a tip and how much??
LMAO
How much did you tip her? :)
she was a STUPID FUCKING WHORE.
That's what that flea-bag Ho was...and still is.
What a dumbass piece of shit.
That's what you should've said. You should've said, "Oh my god, all this time I thought you were just a whore, but it really turns out that you're a dumbass piece of shit and no one probably wants to touch your nasty pussy with a ten-inch pole. THAT'S THE PROBLEM!"
No effin way...
Just walk up to me and call me a whore, maybe.
She should have accepted your apology and been done with it.
I love making people cry. I do it at work all the time on the phone.
"Boo, you whore!"
Favorite line from a blog:
"being a whore is not funny!"
Maybe she prefers Call Girl?
omfg, she laid the ground work for the entire interaction for dinner. It's just too bad she couldn't keep up with it.
I'm sure you've been to dick's last resort right? we took my grandma there a few years ago, and it was hilarious.
I don't think I've ever called a stranger a whore but I am going out for dinner tonight so it might just happen soon.
Can't believe you made her cry - what a whore.
(And I'm comment #71 - and you told me you weren't popular, ya lying whore!!! LOL)
You whore! ;)
you are the comment whore, not me.
wait...are you crying now...?
aw, ster. don'tcha hate it when you are taken the wrong way! eek!
ok, if you really feel bad, do what i would do: as a former waitress, all i can say is that HUGE MEGA-TIPS make everything ok. you DID give her a MEGATIP, right???? right????
please say you gave her like, a 50% tip. if you didn't, you march your whore ass back in there, apologize to her manager and tell him to give her the MEGATIP.
i have to say...if i didn't know you, and you called me a whore....i might not take it so well, either. i don't have the thickest skin. i would probably cry, depending on my hormone level. or maybe spit in your salad....
but 10 minutes later, i would figure it out. because i am so NOT a whore. and then i would get it and laugh. and i definitely would have accepted your apology.
sometimes, when i'm in a major dry spell, i wish i was a whore. *sigh*
If you like, you now have my permission to adopt my new swear word, "fuckmouth". Come here fuckmouth... It's just so awesomely offensive and random and really not applicable to anyone I can think of.
I also use a slightly less offensive variation of it when I stub my toe or something, "Ouch, fucksocks!"
Go ahead, say it...you'll like it. Pass it on! :)
I'm adding you to my links ASAP!
By the way, this was so hilarious that I read it out loud to my husband and 16-year-old who are now also ROFLTAO!
There should be.
I waited tables for 14 years, and I've worked with so many like this. She saw you guys in a shade of green - tried to play the game to get a big honkin tip, and couldn't take it.
Priceless. Serves her right. Hope you didn't leave the guilt tip, she didn't deserve it.
I've waited tables for 14 freakin' years, I've done it so long because I LOVE doing it, and THIS is exactly the kind of customer I love to have. (Much better than the anal church lady type)
Being a waitress is only a crappy job if you suck at it.